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I think this not having clothes to wear the next day at home was just thrown out as a random comment and now it's being taken as fact.
When we spend a week at the beach in a condo, the relatives with young kids seem to do laundry all the time. Maybe it's just a habit? I personally hate to have dirty clothes in my hamper. Yes ok, maybe weird. Lol.
That's different than doing laundry at a friend's house so you don't have to do it once you get home.
My mom was 92 and still referred to me as her baby. I'm 50something. I would be crushed if I couldn't go back home and act like I was on spring break. Heck she would be too!
I don't there's anything the least bid odd about about doing laundry at a friend or family members, in fact, we rely on it, so we can pack more lightly & we don't even have kids. Everyone I know, pretty much expects to do this, as it makes travelling easier. Is it a requirement? No. Is it an obsession with washing clothes every few days or being uber-fastidious? No. It's simply a convenience. Great if it's available & we'll plan accordingly if it's not.
This ^^^ is pretty much how I feel about it. If you're on a trip for a week or so, often to conserve suitcase space maybe you haven't packed a fresh outfit for every day and are planning to rewear some items. It's nice if toward the end of that week, you can wash up some of those clothes. No one is saying to demand laundry service from your hosts, and if it ends up that laundry isn't convenient for your hosts, then you make do. It's all fine.
Well I guess I'm in the minority. I still think it's odd. I usually have to do it because he doesn't have the same machines as we do. I start it and then put them in the dryer. He folds them. I never say anything or give off the impression that I don't want to do it. It just irks me I guess.
Probably stems from the time we went to visit them (a planned visit) and there was literally NO FOOD or beverages in the house. In the frig. there were the usual condiments but no food. We were travelling with our young daughter at the time (12) and so we went to the store and bought food/drinks. We were also expected to treat everyone out to lunch/dinner since the wife doesn't cook. When word got out to the family that we were going to brunch, 15 people were going to come expecting us to foot the bill. When we said it was going to have to be dutch (everyone pays for themselves), all of sudden it was suggested going over to another relatives house and she was cooking breakfast! So I think for me it's kind of like he's just cheap.
It seems there is more going on to you. If you know how this person is then lay down some rules.
My DH and I stay with his parents each year when we go to NY. I do use their washer and dryer as my Dh never packs enough clothes. I also shop with my MIL, pay for some of the food, cook, help her clean and would never expect her to do my laundry. On the day we leave I clean our bathroom and bedroom. I strip the bed of all linens and bring the towels and sheets downstairs for her.
If someone is at my house they are welcome to use the washer and dryer. BTW, if you are staying at my house you will be like family and will not get "served" everything. Everyone can pitch in if you are staying with me.
Really? Now poor people shouldn't take vacations? I believe they are staying with family, so how does that make their priorities screwed up?
I have always done laundry at family member's homes when we visit. I don't ask them to do it, but I do use their washer and dryer. It's silly to take up all that extra space in a car or pay to check a bag when you can get by with less clothing and just wash it. I also rent vacation homes that have washers and dryers. Should I not use those, either?
When I was working a 9-5 in an office and had limited vacation days, I wouldn't waste one of my vacation days to stay home and do laundry when I got back into town. Fortunately, I have family members who totally understand.
I also had a friend spend almost a week at my house recently. I offered her the opportunity do laundry if she wanted to. To me, that's part of being a good host.
Never thought I would have to explain this.
Actually poor people do have limited options when it comes to spending money, especially on things that are not necessities. I believe that a vacation counts.
And staying with family and using their utilities so that they do not have to use their own? That's freeloading especially when you add in all of the other behavior mentioned by the OP.
I don't consider the extra day a vacation day so it is not wasted by doing laundry. It is a day to get back into the swing of things so that the rest of my week runs smoothly.
Last edited by mochamajesty; 04-23-2017 at 10:07 AM..
He asks to put a load in. I usually put the clothes in the dryer because it's usually near noon and we're on a time of use plan and it's more expensive to use big appliances after then. I don't want the washer/dryer on after noon. That puts us at a higher rate for running big appliances.
Honestly, like another poster pointed out, it's just him. He's a freeloader and I don't like it. Like the time we went to an arcade type place and they gave my daughter all their tickets so she could get a "prize". So with our tickets and theirs she got a mini basketball and was so excited about it. We were going to other places so the wife put the ball in her big purse. They left the next day and took the ball with them! And you can't miss a small basketball in your purse either. When I asked them over the phone where the ball was, because I couldn't believe that they would take it, he simply said, "oh, we brought it home". So yeah, it's not about the washer/dryer! It's still weird to me though (asking to use it to wash all their clothes before going home)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53
Hes not a friend, he's family.
Ugh more going on. She mentioned peak use hours for electricity. Wonder if she is the main bread winner, so this gets on her nerves?
Refrigerators are the big electricity users in a household.
Yes, definitely more going on. The meals would bother me way more than the laundry. We don't have to do it now, but in our former state, we did try to run appliances during off-peak hours, so I do understand that.
I still think there is a difference between doing laundry during a trip so you can wear something again during a trip, and doing it right before you leave so you can wear it when you get home. One is somewhat necessary. The other is inconveniencing the host for your own benefit.
I'm going out on a limb here because you haven't specified.
This is your husband's son from a first marriage, isn't he?
You, as a second wife, don't quite consider him "family."
Does the laundry thing bother your husband? Even with energy restriction, a load here and there months apart is not going to break the bank. I can understand Daddy not wanting to pick up the tab for the extended clan of the son's (?) wife's family (?), but someone along the way gave this "kid" the green light to come back and make himself at home. Who might that have been?
If I'm travelling for more than 4-5 days, I always pack with the assumption that I'll do laundry once during the trip. I find out ahead of time if there is a laundry room in the hotel or one nearby. I don't want to pack and schlep everything to last for longer than that, I'd much rather travel with smaller, more easily handled luggage. I throw a couple of laundry pods and dryer sheets into a baggie in my suitcase. I don't mind paying to use the machines, but paying the obscenely marked up prices for single serve detergent annoys me! lol!
On my last vacation, we had a car and on the way back from a museum in the suburbs that we really wanted to go to, we stopped at a shopping center, put in a load of laundry, grabbed some lunch, then put it in the dryer and sat and relaxed for half an hour (those commercial machines are FAST!), folded, put it back into the suitcase and away we went. It was a small and relaxing time out from the rest of our vacation activities.
If I was staying with someone, I'd ask if I could use their washer but I would never ask them to actually do my laundry and would turn them down if they offered since I would assume it was just an offer out of politeness. But I prefer to do it myself anyway.
I can understand why someone choose not to do laundry on vacation but I think it's odd to feel so strongly about it, tbh. And I wouldn't do laundry on the final day unless I had unexpected run out of clean clothes - I do it strictly so I can pack less and plan laundry for midway through so everything is clean to wear but still gets worn twice on the trip.
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. I also shop with my MIL, pay for some of the food, cook, help her clean and would never expect her to do my laundry. On the day we leave I clean our bathroom and bedroom. I strip the bed of all linens and bring the towels and sheets downstairs for her.
