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Honestly if i was the mother id be too embarrassed to continue to come back. Id be thinking wow these people have to put their dog away everytime my kid and i come over.
Normally I am of the mindset that people should not foist their dogs on other people, even in their home (example...I visit someone and they let their [usually smelly] dog jump up on me when I sit on the couch), but in this case, I agree that the mother doesn't have enough sense to see that she is causing your family and your dog (golden retrievers, I believe, are very attached to their families) discomfort....she should have discerned this already and even if she doesn't agree with it, stopped coming out of politeness. It's your home.
Your mother and the kid's mother are both wrong. I can understand your frustration, but it's up to you to talk to your mother and/or the kid's mother and put a stop to the situation.
Btw, I like kids too, but brats....well, that I cannot stand, neither can I stand it when parents do not watch over their children in public or at someone else's home. I feel your pain.
maybe you could set up a large kennel to put those kids that are uncomfortable around dogs in it when they visit, you could call it a fort and they would probably have fun playing in it.
All good ideas. Bottom line is, for our friends we may make exceptions, because our friends are important to us.
The situation here is these "terrified" children are not the OP's friends.....nor is the Grandmother of the mother to these kids.
OP....Grow a pair.....Tell your Mom that if she wants to host a bar-b-que at her house you'll bring a dish. But, you will no longer host her friends at your home....End of!
If you aren't able to address this properly with your Mom, that's on you OP.
I know of a few people, mostly children and a few adults who are afraid of dogs. It's not a big deal really...until they are at my house and want my dog put away. This has happened a few times mainly in the summer time. We've had cook outs a few times in the summer and my parents will be there along with a friend of my mom's and my mom always tells her to bring her daughter and her 4 kids who live close by. 2 of the 4 kids are afraid of the dog, one is very afraid to the point of crying. I have a golden retriever, he's pretty big but he could care less about these kids and doesn't go near them. The first few times it happened i put the dog in the house, but he hates being alone, always has to be with us and cries at the window. It's been two year and these people still come with these kids several times in the summer and the one girl who is now 4 is still terrified. I would have thought maybe the mom would be like, oh don't worry you don't have to put him away, she'll be fine..but she never does. Each time it happens she actually seems very concerned and worried about how afraid her precious snowflake seems of our dog. In my head I'm like, WHY do you continue to come and bring this child if you know how afraid she is?? I guess she just assumes I have no problem putting the dog away because her kid should come before an animal. I just find it rude. It's my house, my dog, and it makes for a very uncomfortable situation every time you and your whiny scared child show up.
Your house. Your dog.
Guests who aren't even invited.
Their problem. They don't need to be there if they don't like it.
As far as they know, they are. OP hasn't told her mother to stop inviting them. Nor, according to her posts, have the guests ever asked OP to put the dog inside.
They HAVE been invited, they did not show up on the door step unannounced.
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Much of the problem is that I am told to put the dog in the house by other people (mom and husband). I'd be happy to just stand up and say, 'hey there really is no reason to be afraid of the dog, he's very gentle hence my 1 year old and 3 year old also manage to live with him. I'm sorry you continue to be so afraid but maybe you should go sit somewhere else that is not near him. I'd rather not put him in the house as it causes him great distress and again, there's no reason to be afraid. He wants to be outside here with us. You know we have a dog....please work with your child.'
If i were to say this I'd be a complete b*tch in my mom and DH's eyes. They would rather deal with it by just putting the dog away. It's not my mom's house, but she would be upset to see me say this...and it is also DH's house and he'd rather avoid confrontation about it.
What about children who are afraid of other people...? what happens then? No one asks the feared person to leave...so why do i continuously need to remove my dog? First few times ok...but after a while people (children included) should learn to cope better.
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