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It seems that on one side of my family, there are never ending grudges. Either no one speaks to each other, or they speak but hate each other. My cousin and his brother have officially stopped talking because the one brother is thinking he might be bi and the other is making homophobic remarks. I guess I understand that, but there are so many other instances. My uncle and his brother do not speak. My one cousin does not speak to all of his siblings because of his overall personality and the fact that he was a drug user in the past. My uncle and his brother have not spoken for 10 years, and my cousins grandmother does not speak to her daughter in law. I know this is not my immediate family, and besides the stuff I listed above, everything is fine. However, I am still pissed off and embarrassed to be part of such a dysfunctional, immature family. You'd think it was straight out of a novel. Anyway, is this not a huge issue or are other families like this too? I am not involved in any of this, by the way, but it pisses me off as an outsider.
Can you concentrate on your immediate family and not worry about your extended family? If I had cousins and uncles not speaking to each other, I likely wouldn't even know.
I have one cousin on my side of the family, and an ex sister in law on my husband's side who are always stirring the turds in their families. This sounds hard hearted, but in small doses it's kind of entertaining. Who's not speaking to who, who won't show up for the reunion because so and so will be there, who's posting "well I thought when you had family they should support you but I guess was wrong" on facebook.
My own family and my husband's nuclear family don't do this, ever. Ever.
It seems that on one side of my family, there are never ending grudges. Either no one speaks to each other, or they speak but hate each other. My cousin and his brother have officially stopped talking because the one brother is thinking he might be bi and the other is making homophobic remarks. I guess I understand that, but there are so many other instances. My uncle and his brother do not speak. My one cousin does not speak to all of his siblings because of his overall personality and the fact that he was a drug user in the past. My uncle and his brother have not spoken for 10 years, and my cousins grandmother does not speak to her daughter in law. I know this is not my immediate family, and besides the stuff I listed above, everything is fine. However, I am still pissed off and embarrassed to be part of such a dysfunctional, immature family. You'd think it was straight out of a novel. Anyway, is this not a huge issue or are other families like this too? I am not involved in any of this, by the way, but it pisses me off as an outsider.
Since they're your extended family, just consider yourself lucky not to be embroiled in their drama, and go on about your life as usual.
Count your blessings that you have good relationships within your immediate family. Many people are not so fortunate. Don't worry about the rest of it; just maintain a distance, which shouldn't be hard, considering they're only cousins and uncles.
You are surprised people are often arrogant and seldom change their opinion.
It's comfortable for them to think something like: "I'm a good boy and I can't think the same about my cousin brother because ... he broke an expensive vase five years ago. How can he be so clumsy?"
Every day is a new life to a wise man (Dale Carnegie)
It seems that on one side of my family, there are never ending grudges. Either no one speaks to each other, or they speak but hate each other. My cousin and his brother have officially stopped talking because the one brother is thinking he might be bi and the other is making homophobic remarks. I guess I understand that, but there are so many other instances. My uncle and his brother do not speak. My one cousin does not speak to all of his siblings because of his overall personality and the fact that he was a drug user in the past. My uncle and his brother have not spoken for 10 years, and my cousins grandmother does not speak to her daughter in law. I know this is not my immediate family, and besides the stuff I listed above, everything is fine. However, I am still pissed off and embarrassed to be part of such a dysfunctional, immature family. You'd think it was straight out of a novel. Anyway, is this not a huge issue or are other families like this too? I am not involved in any of this, by the way, but it pisses me off as an outsider.
If you are not involved why does it bother you? Who gives a damn about who is talking to who and for what reason, just go live your life.
My wife's family is like this, it provides for good amusement on the car ride home from seeing them, then we move on with our life and let them deal with the drama.
You can pick your friends, your seat or your nose but not your relatives. Choose wisely.
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