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Old 06-11-2017, 01:33 PM
 
699 posts, read 1,016,183 times
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We are invited to a 90th birthday party celebration for someone who we recently met....she is a member of a social club we attend.....all members are invited. The invitation states "no gifts please". It's a casual gathering....appetizers and cake. I don't know why exactly I feel indecisive about whether to bring a small gift (flowers or candy)....I guess because I feel uncomfortable showing up with just a card....but I don't want to offend the celebrant if she really does not want gifts. What would you do?
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Old 06-11-2017, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Alexandria, VA
15,152 posts, read 27,834,458 times
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Bring a card (people really do not want the crap that some people bring - over the hill "whatever", etc.)
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Old 06-11-2017, 02:35 PM
 
Location: Canada
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A birthday card is appropriate. At 90, it isn't about gifts, it's the pleasure of your company on their birthday.
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Old 06-11-2017, 02:42 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
24,012 posts, read 28,490,309 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
A birthday card is appropriate. At 90, it isn't about gifts, it's the pleasure of your company on their birthday.
Yes. Not to mention, in my experience that generation really does enjoy a nice card that they can look at later at their leisure.
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Old 06-11-2017, 02:43 PM
 
Location: Southern California
29,266 posts, read 16,797,441 times
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A card is all that is necessary...

A friend gave herself a big party for 90th and said "no gifts please"... I couldn't even go as I just came out of hip replacement and was not in great shape.

Then she had 95th big party, same scenerio and I went and a card only and guess
what, she passed a couple months later.

Like she planned her life and death and just about everything in between.

The point is "older people don't need anything and don't want to think about getting rid of more stuff".

I would say the SAME THING if I threw a party for myself or my daughter did.

As I see it, Your Presence is the Gift.
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Old 06-11-2017, 02:54 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
30,585 posts, read 25,216,070 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
A birthday card is appropriate. At 90, it isn't about gifts, it's the pleasure of your company on their birthday.
This. The lady doesn't need anything. She doesn't need the aggravation of dealing with unwanted gifts.

Your company, and your best wishes are the things that she wants the most. I imagine most of her friends have passed, and new friends are taking their place in her world.
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Old 06-11-2017, 03:08 PM
 
7,235 posts, read 7,048,201 times
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A card with a heartfelt note would likely mean the most.
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Old 06-11-2017, 03:11 PM
 
7,235 posts, read 7,048,201 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post
I imagine most of her friends have passed, and new friends are taking their place in her world.

Perfectly stated.
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Old 06-11-2017, 04:00 PM
 
Location: Wartrace,TN
8,090 posts, read 12,819,840 times
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If you really feel you need to give her a "gift" ask her out for lunch some day or call her up and see if she wants to go somewhere with you. In my experience getting out of the house would be greatly appreciated.
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Old 06-11-2017, 04:01 PM
 
789 posts, read 1,993,889 times
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If the party is it someone's home, I would bring a hostess gift of a bottle of wine or flowers, plus a card. Otherwise, I would just go with the card.
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