Feeling jealous i guess (wife, girlfriend, member, wives)
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I cant quite figure the cousins looks out to be honest. She has bad teeth-big and sort of horsey looking, but other than that she is cute. She is blonde, i am brunette, we're both petite, similar builds. I really don't know who is better looking. I'd be honest if it were her.. I posted this thread didn't I? My husband does not find her attractive and neither does my best friend if that means anything. They are both honest.
No I didnt expect anyone to point out that her life isnt great. Why do you seem gung ho on rubbing it in that her life IS great though? So to you i guess a great life equals marrying rich? Just curious.
I have had this person in my life my whole life seeing everyone pick up the pieces for her so yes this irks me.
I am obviously admitting that I am jealous hence my post here, lol. What you are saying doesn't make much sense. Obviously I dont WANT to be jealous and I wish i wasnt. But I cant help but wish she were poor. There i said it haha.
Do you really want to have to depend on other people to pick up the pieces for you? I would find that terrifying.
If you are jealous, it means that you feel that something in your own life is lacking; otherwise it wouldn't be bothering you. Figure out what that is, and do what you can to make it better. There are reasons other than luck that may be helping your cousin get what she wants. Personality traits can help a lot, too. Anyway, her "good luck" doesn't reflect poorly on you and doesn't change your life.
OP, think about what you want that you don't have. This isn't really about her. Its about you.
If she has more money than you and you want more money, start figuring out ways to get yourself there. The best advice I ever got was "don't wait for someone to gift you with what you want. Get it yourself."
If her lifestyle seems attractive, figure out how you can include some of those elements in your own life. Maybe you can't right away, but if you set a goal you may be surprised at how much you can change your outlook.
Jealousy is only a symptom of lack of fulfillment. Sit with yourself for a bit and drill down to what she has (from your perspective) that is shining a light on an area you feel is lacking in your own life.
If you are getting much of this info from social media, cut way, way back. You said you had grown apart so you seem way too preoccupied with her life. Does your own family constantly bring her up? If so, change the subject and/or let them know you have other matters you prefer to discuss.
How close by do you live? Distance can be a wonderful thing and keeps the competiveness at a lower level.
You have done well in life and have a husband who loves you. Believe me, moving in with somebody is different from marriage. Also, if there is wealth involved there probably will be a pre-nup in place if a marriage actually takes place.
Sometimes people seem to glide through life and all the pieces fall into place. But in your cousin's case, a six month marriage shows a real lack of judgement in evaluating character at age 29 - that is a mistake a younger person would more commonly make. That would have been mortifying.
Live your own life and distance yourself, at least emotionally, by cutting back on contact. Out of sight, out of mind . . . at least for awhile.
I have a cousin who i was close with up until i was about 25 then we grew apart. We both grew up going to private school and that having an education was very important etc. I always noticed she seemed to be more enchanted with money than i wa. Seemed to always have friends who had a lot, was very important to her where her boyfriends went to school. She is i guess you could say snobby but acts very nice to everyone's face. At 29 she married a guy who looked good on paper (ivy league school, running his own business) but their marriage lasted about 6 months.
About 8 years later she is in a serious relationship where she's moving to be with a guy who has a very high profile lucrative career. I cant help but feel irritated. I feel like for the love of God why do you always have to go for the people with money? Her two sisters also have a lot of money. One was smart and has a good job, the other married money also. Their mother also encouraged them to marry well but it makes me irritated to see that they all did. I cant help but wish the one im talking about married someone average...i really dont feel like hearing about what a fabulous life she will be having for the rest of her life. She's nothing special...why does she get to be rich? So many women find no one yet she finds someone who is just what she and her family always wanted for her.
Why do some people get everything they want in life?
I get that she was divorced once so it wasnt alwaya easy but again she married him because he fit her mold...ive never seen her date an average joe kind of guy.
Fabulous life for the rest of her life?
She was already married once and it lasted 6 months....real fabulous.
Let me guess, she met this guy online and is moving to another state. She will be lucky if she doesn't end up missing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by chb119
Worked out, please point to where they worked out? Six month marriage, that did not work out. Shallow friends, that did not work out. Shallow family, that did not work out.
Stop judging your life by her's, her's is really not that good, pretty empty infact.
^^^^^^this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1986pacecar
Jealousy is an ugly emotion, which you're proving in spades. Would you be happier if she was a Meth addict living in an abusive relationship? Would that make your life more meaningful? Focus on yourself, not others for your feelings of self worth.
It certainly is.
And I think it would make the OP happier.
There are people who have decent lives, aren't doing without, but the minute they think someone else has "one upped" them whether it be a new car, new job, or new relatioship they're livid about it.
I have a cousin who i was close with up until i was about 25 then we grew apart. We both grew up going to private school and that having an education was very important etc. I always noticed she seemed to be more enchanted with money than i wa. Seemed to always have friends who had a lot, was very important to her where her boyfriends went to school. She is i guess you could say snobby but acts very nice to everyone's face. At 29 she married a guy who looked good on paper (ivy league school, running his own business) but their marriage lasted about 6 months.
About 8 years later she is in a serious relationship where she's moving to be with a guy who has a very high profile lucrative career. I cant help but feel irritated. I feel like for the love of God why do you always have to go for the people with money? Her two sisters also have a lot of money. One was smart and has a good job, the other married money also. Their mother also encouraged them to marry well but it makes me irritated to see that they all did. I cant help but wish the one im talking about married someone average...i really dont feel like hearing about what a fabulous life she will be having for the rest of her life. She's nothing special...why does she get to be rich? So many women find no one yet she finds someone who is just what she and her family always wanted for her.
Why do some people get everything they want in life?
I get that she was divorced once so it wasnt alwaya easy but again she married him because he fit her mold...ive never seen her date an average joe kind of guy.
Are you comparing your insides to someone elses outsides?
I cant quite figure the cousins looks out to be honest. She has bad teeth-big and sort of horsey looking, but other than that she is cute. She is blonde, i am brunette, we're both petite, similar builds. I really don't know who is better looking. I'd be honest if it were her.. I posted this thread didn't I? My husband does not find her attractive and neither does my best friend if that means anything. They are both honest.
Riiight.
Because neither your husband nor your best friend are the least bit aware of how obsessed you are with your cousin.
Other than having to hear about it all the time, that is.
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