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I have just gotten home from college about a week ago, and I have a friend I used to work with who asks me to hang out with him and his girlfriend every single day. I go most days because they are fun people and I genuinely love hanging out with them, and we are going on a cruise in July, but when I either can't or don't want to go, he continues to persist until I either give in or stop answering..
No, he is not gay for me (he has been with this girl for 3 years and they plan to be married) and he is also a straight edge person. He really likes being friends with me, but he just wants to hang out with me too much. I do really like both of them and want our friendship to stay the same though.
You just need to set boundaries. He's not entitled to know where you are every second of the day, so all you need to say is "tonight's not going to work" and then not answer any more of his texts. If you want to maintain the friendship, then get ahead of it and make plans with him. If he knows you're meeting up next weekend, then he might not be so persistent for any scrap of your time.
For some reason, just saying 'no' is difficult for the OP, or he wouldn't have posted. Many posters here suggest just saying NO. The only people I have ever just said NO to, have been telemarketers. I don't think it's a good response in the context of a friendship, and I have to wonder if the people who offer that advice, actually follow it. It just seems like a really impolite response to a needy and sensitive person, and I can imagine lots of fallout from it, afterwards. There are a thousand ways to say it, so why not use a more palatable answer?
OP, at least his girlfriend notices his behaviour. Strength in numbers!
The needy friend sounds like someone who has abandonment issues along with not being able to see that other people have lives. I've known 3 people like this, and they all seem to fall into having many characteristics of Borderline Personality Disorder. If that's the case here, then nothing is going to change his behaviour and the OP will always have to dance around the minefields, meaning nothing will ever placate this individual and he will always feel hurt by your reasonable actions.
I'd have to agree with the people here who are telling you to tell him briefly that you'd love to but you can't, and then throw in a distraction. Change the subject by taking control of the conversation.
No, he is not gay for me (he has been with this girl for 3 years and they plan to be married) and he is also a straight edge person. He really likes being friends with me, but he just wants to hang out with me too much. I do really like both of them and want our friendship to stay the same though.
You know you could tell him this very thing. "I really like both of you but I don't want to hang out with you as often as you do. I hope you understand."
He and his girlfriend only have about 5 other friends in common, but he is the one who always wants to hang out, not her. And we are NEVER alone. It is always me, him and his girlfriend. I work with his girlfriend too.
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