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I have a sister who is 23 and I'm 27 and we both live with our mom along with my sister's boyfriend. My sister works and I don't do disability from High Functioning Autism that I wasn't diagnosed with until my 20's and having really bad vision and no depth perception. I don't even have a drivers license because I have a phobia when it comes to driving when at one point I did only I gave it up this past winter.
My mom doesn't mind this arrangement due to being a widow for almost eight years. She just really recently decided to retire from her high stress job from working as an administrator for assisted living to receive my dad's benefits. Apparently the timing couldn't be any better because after applying for them she had a seizure when she's never had them before and got a concussion from it. She's been dealing with the dizziness for the past three weeks and hates it because it leaves her bored with her being unable to drive for the moment. So she's needed more help than usual even though she tries to do some cleaning and cooking to keep some independence.
I help with the cleaning and take care of the cats we have as I should because I don't work. Every night I fill the dishwasher and clean the counters. Although my sister likes to complain that I don't it properly her way where with how I am as long as the dishes and stuff gets clean I'm good.
So a couple nights ago my sister and her boyfriend weren't home so me and my mom had our dinner and I cleaned up. When they got home they made their dinner and left a huge mess afterwards she asked me to empty the dishwasher that had the clean dishes so I did to be nice. Well apparently she assumed I would clean her stuff at ten at night because she works long hours. I told her no because that was her mess along with her boyfriend's I didn't make it. She tried to pull that I'm selfish, self-centered and entitled card when she is being like that and always has since her teens. I don't ask anyone to clean my stuff and never have hell I rarely ask for stuff in general because that's not me. She even said that if I lived on my own that apparently my place would be a huge mess because I didn't do her dishes
She apparently has no idea what it's like to having Autism and thinks that my life is easy when I have social issues and avoid confrontation at all cost it makes me nervous. She even accused me not loving our mom because I don't say I love you when our mom has no problem with it. She likes to think I get special treatment when our mom helped her get three cars and helped her with a DUI and let her live elsewhere when she was a teen
I have never gotten along with my sister as it is and I honestly don't care about her and her drama. She's always been so nasty to me since our childhood and treats me like I cause problems when I never had legal trouble. I avoid her as much as I can because she believes that she does no wrong even though here she is wrong because if she wasn't living at home she would have to do her dishes no matter what her hours are.
Argh I have no idea how to get along with her and never have and it's getting to the point where I want nothing to do with her.
Your situation is more common than you might think. One sibling is HFA, the other NT. The NT sib doesn't understand how difficult it can be for HFA sib just to function like everyone else and as a consequence, NT sib thinks HFA sib is the golden child because so many allowances are made.
I don't have an answer for you, at least not a permanent solution. If I were you, though, I would just ignore any catty or spiteful remarks she makes. I wouldn't even react. I'd turn around and walk away. Hopefully you have a room of your own you can retreat to when needed.
I too have a spiteful sibling and I'm 63. I refuse to have anything to do with her.
Your situation is more common than you might think. One sibling is HFA, the other NT. The NT sib doesn't understand how difficult it can be for HFA sib just to function like everyone else and as a consequence, NT sib thinks HFA sib is the golden child because so many allowances are made.
I don't have an answer for you, at least not a permanent solution. If I were you, though, I would just ignore any catty or spiteful remarks she makes. I wouldn't even react. I'd turn around and walk away. Hopefully you have a room of your own you can retreat to when needed.
I too have a spiteful sibling and I'm 63. I refuse to have anything to do with her.
That doesn't explain why the sister seems to believe she and her bf don't need to do their own dishes. This isn't about the OP functioning like anyone else. It's about the sister treating her sibling like a servant, and getting abusive when the sibling doesn't go along.
Your situation is more common than you might think. One sibling is HFA, the other NT. The NT sib doesn't understand how difficult it can be for HFA sib just to function like everyone else and as a consequence, NT sib thinks HFA sib is the golden child because so many allowances are made.
I don't have an answer for you, at least not a permanent solution. If I were you, though, I would just ignore any catty or spiteful remarks she makes. I wouldn't even react. I'd turn around and walk away. Hopefully you have a room of your own you can retreat to when needed.
I too have a spiteful sibling and I'm 63. I refuse to have anything to do with her.
I do have my own room but I keep my laptop and video game stuff in the living room just so I don't isolate myself. That's something I can't do anymore and that's isolating my stuff I did a lot of that when I was younger and want to change that.
I do have my own room but I keep my laptop and video game stuff in the living room just so I don't isolate myself. That's something I can't do anymore and that's isolating my stuff I did a lot of that when I was younger and want to change that.
I'm not saying you should isolate yourself but neither should you take crap from a family member.
That doesn't explain why the sister seems to believe she and her bf don't need to do their own dishes. This isn't about the OP functioning like anyone else. It's about the sister treating her sibling like a servant, and getting abusive when the sibling doesn't go along.
I focused on this:
Quote:
She tried to pull that I'm selfish, self-centered and entitled card when she is being like that and always has since her teens.
There's already a pattern of verbal abuse. The only way to break it is to not engage.
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