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A friend of mine, currently living with her father, 76, has encountered a situation where a woman, 25 years younger than he, seems to be preying on her father. He's enjoying the attention, having been widowed for a decade. This woman is married, and comes to visit my friend's father while her husband is at work.
My friend is unsure of how to proceed other than talking to her father about the risks, not to mention the moral issues involved. He's enjoying the attention this woman provides, because he would like companionship without commitment, and my friend is worried that she's preying on him to manipulate him for money, or other assets.
I don't think this is unlike phone/door-to-door scams that people pull on unsuspecting seniors. What is the best way for my friend to help protect her father?
I don't think this is unlike phone/door-to-door scams that people pull on unsuspecting seniors. What is the best way for my friend to help protect her father?
I would suggest some sort of hi-tech home security system that is far too complicated for someone his age to figure out...
A friend of mine, currently living with her father, 76, has encountered a situation where a woman, 25 years younger than he, seems to be preying on her father. He's enjoying the attention, having been widowed for a decade. This woman is married, and comes to visit my friend's father while her husband is at work.
This whole situation depends on if the old guy still has his marbles. If so, no one elses business.
Well, who is the executor of the man's estate? If the lady has no access to his funds, then so be it. My friend's father is in his 70s and some girl in her 30s is his "penpal" sending him naked pics of herself to him and they chat via webcam...he sends her money but he needs to stop it since she is clearly scamming him.
For the man the OP is talking about, might not be anything you can do about it...
A friend of mine, currently living with her father, 76, has encountered a situation where a woman, 25 years younger than he, seems to be preying on her father. He's enjoying the attention, having been widowed for a decade. This woman is married, and comes to visit my friend's father while her husband is at work.
My friend is unsure of how to proceed other than talking to her father about the risks, not to mention the moral issues involved. He's enjoying the attention this woman provides, because he would like companionship without commitment, and my friend is worried that she's preying on him to manipulate him for money, or other assets.
I don't think this is unlike phone/door-to-door scams that people pull on unsuspecting seniors. What is the best way for my friend to help protect her father?
Uhhh...I thought this was called a neighborhood?
I mean...whats wrong with a neighbor visiting an old lonely man. Where I grew up this is just what you do. Hang out and maybe fix things they need help with. I know what you are saying...but don't assume the worst or insult the father. If he has his senses he is a grown man and does not need to be told what to do at 76. That is unnecessary stress. I would probably just make a joke about how she seems nice and hope she is not one of those "dateline/ 20/20 loons" you read about.
He should be watching his credit anyway but getting something like lifelock could help watch that.
And if the father wants to give her something that is his choice. Its his stuff. Is the child so greedy they are just counting down the days till they get everything? I understand being careful...but why ruin an old man's happiness over material gain?
Liberty2011....maybe your friend could tell this young woman that he/she has power of atturny....but they DO appreciate that they're being so attentive to the old man....as he does enjoy her companionship so much....interesting to see if she still keeps coming around, sad for the old man if she doesn't.
I mean...whats wrong with a neighbor visiting an old lonely man. Where I grew up this is just what you do. Hang out and maybe fix things they need help with. I know what you are saying...but don't assume the worst or insult the father. If he has his senses he is a grown man and does not need to be told what to do at 76. That is unnecessary stress. I would probably just make a joke about how she seems nice and hope she is not one of those "dateline/ 20/20 loons" you read about.
He should be watching his credit anyway but getting something like lifelock could help watch that.
And if the father wants to give her something that is his choice. Its his stuff. Is the child so greedy they are just counting down the days till they get everything? I understand being careful...but why ruin an old man's happiness over material gain?
It's not a neighbour, it's a woman who works at a grocery store he goes to. And from meeting this woman, my friend is getting a terrible vibe from her, not of someone who is just randomly concerned for an older widowed man, and is befriending him. It's an attraction, not neighbourly kindness. My friend isn't in it for herself, but concerned about her dad's wellbeing, emotionally and not wanting him to fall victim to this married woman's advances.
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Just tell your friend to watch this woman closely. If it's possible to keep a close check on her father's bank balance, health etc, stuff like that, as a precaution. Don't want to jump to conclusions about someone who might be totally innocent, but always want to be aware as well.
My father is a bit younger, but has being divorced for almost 10 years now, he leaves alone, has a good life, and he is financially stable (I know it sounds like his online profile... lol... ) he met a young woman online, and they started a 'pen pal' relationship, when he showed me her picture, I was very surprised (to put it mildly) of how young she was, she could have being my baby sister... to say that my feelings were in turmoil is an understatement, not only was my dad dating someone younger than me, but he started to develop feeling for this person. I felt uncomfortable, I think that is a logical reaction; I felt jealous to tell the truth, he was my daddy, and I had being the center of his life since my mother left him and my baby sister and so I was very scared of losing him to this stranger.
Bottom line is: I had a very difficult choice to make… I could be the pathetic little daddy’s girl, throw a tantrum, and make sure that person left my father for good, or make my father terminate the relationship… or… I could be the decent adult he raised me to be, and accept that he needed the companionship, that he had been alone for too long, and that now that me and my sister were adults and on our own, he deserved a life of his own again.
I understand where you are coming from and perhaps better, where your friend’s concerns are coming from as well.
Ultimately, we have to realize that they are adults that deserve to reclaim a life of their own, that they deserve a companion for it, and that ultimately it is none of our business. ALSO, let us give the old man a bit of credit hmmm? I think he is smart enough to realize when and if he is being taken advantage of, and if he doesn’t, well… wouldn’t that also be none of our business as well? He is an adult, and he has as much right as any other adult, to make mistakes and enjoy himself while doing it…
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) he met a young woman online, and they started a 'pen pal' relationship, when he showed me her picture, I was very surprised (to put it mildly) of how young she was, she could have being my baby sister... to say that my feelings were in turmoil is an understatement, not only was my dad dating someone younger than me, but he started to develop feeling for this person. I felt uncomfortable, I think that is a logical reaction; I felt jealous to tell the truth, he was my daddy, and I had being the center of his life since my mother left him and my baby sister and so I was very scared of losing him to this stranger.
