Is it ok to be cold towards someone because they remind you of someone you hate? (talks, person)
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There's this person I know that I had horrid, horrid, horrid drama with, and never in my life has anyone made me feel more worthless than the dirt underneath someone's shoe. I have this coworker who gives me kind of the same vibes as this person: he talks in a very similar manner, kind of doesn't have much respect for peoples' boundaries (in terms of touching), has a very troubled relationship with parents (mother is neglectful), seems potentially quite manipulative, he's very good at being fake (once, he literally YELLED while closing, talking about how much he hates one of our coworkers. Literally the next day he was extremely nice to her and offered to hang out after work, and they did), etc. etc. He is also a little too nice and does not react naturally/normally to things, as if he makes sure to keep an "angelic" mask on at all times.
He's never done anything to me but I have been extremely hot and cold with him because I don't trust him and he has tons of similarities with the person I hate. I try to avoid him at work as much as possible and I try to keep myself occupied as much as I can so I avoid talking to him. I can't help but feel bad about it sometimes because the way I treat him is due to my paranoia/me being perhaps overly cautious about not getting hurt.
Should I feel bad/stupid/ridiculous about this? I sometimes think "ok he has not actually done anything to you so just give him a chance" but at this point I am pretty fragile and can't handle getting traumatized over drama again lol
You're an adult or at least old enough to make decisions about people you like/dislike. No reason needed. Be professional always, but no one requires you become friends with him.
This person is a coworker. (You did not say he's the manager.) The person you are comparing him to was not someone you worked with, am I right?
He doesn't sound like anyone I would want to cozy up to, but how about shooting for "neutral" until he gives YOU a good reason for treating him "hot" or "cold"?
You're there to do a job. You won't click with everyone you work with. Ever. Do the best job you can and don't go looking for trouble.
no,it's not fair to be cold to someone because they remind you of someone else,that's called projection.
On the other hand it's okay to distance yourself from someone whose behavior disturbs you. Playing hot and cold though can cause a whole set of problems so it's better to be consistently neutral, professional and polite.
There's this person I know that I had horrid, horrid, horrid drama with, and never in my life has anyone made me feel more worthless than the dirt underneath someone's shoe. I have this coworker who gives me kind of the same vibes as this person: he talks in a very similar manner, kind of doesn't have much respect for peoples' boundaries (in terms of touching), has a very troubled relationship with parents (mother is neglectful), seems potentially quite manipulative, he's very good at being fake (once, he literally YELLED while closing, talking about how much he hates one of our coworkers. Literally the next day he was extremely nice to her and offered to hang out after work, and they did), etc. etc. He is also a little too nice and does not react naturally/normally to things, as if he makes sure to keep an "angelic" mask on at all times.
He's never done anything to me but I have been extremely hot and cold with him because I don't trust him and he has tons of similarities with the person I hate. I try to avoid him at work as much as possible and I try to keep myself occupied as much as I can so I avoid talking to him. I can't help but feel bad about it sometimes because the way I treat him is due to my paranoia/me being perhaps overly cautious about not getting hurt.
Should I feel bad/stupid/ridiculous about this? I sometimes think "ok he has not actually done anything to you so just give him a chance" but at this point I am pretty fragile and can't handle getting traumatized over drama again lol
Yet you are creating unnecessary dramatics where none should exist...
Not fair to be cold to someone who has done nothing bad to you. It's part of grown-up life to deal with people you don't like in a respectful manner.
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