Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have a best friend who i always felt a little under appreciated, but i love her so much. We were so close, hungnout every weekend, texted and talked a lot. From one day to another she just acted distant, giving me a cold shoulder. I started having a lot of problems, due to other issues, and when i went to her expecting her to listen and just give me the hug i have been needing, she told me she wasnt going to feel pity for me that she was tired of me always having the same problems , i told her i didnt feel like living anymore that i felt so sad bcus of my problems and her reply was "YOU DONT HAVE THE BALLS TO DO IT". That saddened me even more. She is so distant and right now i really need her, when she needed me (always the same problem) i was there and never got tired. I always gave her gifts bcus i appreciated her as a friend but for some reason i never felt that appreciation. Now she told me our friendship changed, but that we are still best friends bcus she knows that im a very good friend and that if she ever needs something, she knows i will be there 😔 Opinions? Suggestions? What do i do?
FYI we work together and I hate that people will not see us like we use to be, bcus we always have lunch together, however she did mention "dont buy me gifts anymore, but you can still buy/bring me lunch"
It's sad, but it's a fact of life - friends grow apart and go their separate ways. It happens. Like the saying goes - folks are in our lives for a season, reason or a lifetime. Many times, the "season" for things such as friendships, jobs, where you are in your life, etc. - comes to an end. Trying to cling to something out-of-season just wastes time and causes additional heartache.
Me and my former BFF of 13 years were THICK AS THEIVES. Neither of us ever made a move without consulting the other. We were TIGHT. She once said I was the "other side of her brain". I was an EXCELLENT, SUPPORTIVE friend to her. LONG story but we stopped talking end of March. We still aren't talking and I have made the decision to cut ties and move on. Her season in my life is OVER.
If I were you, I'd try to talk to your friend to get some insight and see if you could possibly salvage the friendship or find out why she's so distant. But be open to taking a break OR accepting that you are moving into a new season and she is not a part of your story moving forward.
I know where you're coming from in regards to people not seeing you like you USED to be: it's a little embarrassing because folks know how close we USED to be; when folks ask about her I feel a little embarrassed because it kind of makes ME look strange to be SO close to someone then be disconnected. But oh well.
PLEASE watch this video from T.D. Jakes called the "Gift of Goodbye". Doesn't matter if you're not religious, this is UNIVERSAL teaching:
I have a best friend who i always felt a little under appreciated, but i love her so much. We were so close, hungnout every weekend, texted and talked a lot. From one day to another she just acted distant, giving me a cold shoulder. I started having a lot of problems, due to other issues, and when i went to her expecting her to listen and just give me the hug i have been needing, she told me she wasnt going to feel pity for me that she was tired of me always having the same problems , i told her i didnt feel like living anymore that i felt so sad bcus of my problems and her reply was "YOU DONT HAVE THE BALLS TO DO IT". That saddened me even more. She is so distant and right now i really need her, when she needed me (always the same problem) i was there and never got tired. I always gave her gifts bcus i appreciated her as a friend but for some reason i never felt that appreciation. Now she told me our friendship changed, but that we are still best friends bcus she knows that im a very good friend and that if she ever needs something, she knows i will be there 😔 Opinions? Suggestions? What do i do?
FYI we work together and I hate that people will not see us like we use to be, bcus we always have lunch together, however she did mention "dont buy me gifts anymore, but you can still buy/bring me lunch"
Pleeeeease tell me you're NOT going to buy/bring her a lunch anymore.
She sounds like she's only YOUR friend when SHE'S in need. What she said to you "YOU DON'T HAVE THE BALLS TO DO IT" is sickening....pathetic
You need to lose this leech...but it sounds to me like you'll be waiting on the back burner for her...to jump whenever she says so......very sad, I'm sorry for you.
My suggestion would be that you let this "friend" go...do yourself that favor.
You're better off with NO friends than you are with her... for a friend.
I think she's tired of you...wants nothinbg more to do with you...or any problems you have. She's only interested in keeping the phony friendship alive because of the material gifts you give her....sorry
I have a best friend who i always felt a little under appreciated, but i love her so much. We were so close, hungnout every weekend, texted and talked a lot. From one day to another she just acted distant, giving me a cold shoulder. I started having a lot of problems, due to other issues, and when i went to her expecting her to listen and just give me the hug i have been needing, she told me she wasnt going to feel pity for me that she was tired of me always having the same problems , i told her i didnt feel like living anymore that i felt so sad bcus of my problems and her reply was "YOU DONT HAVE THE BALLS TO DO IT". That saddened me even more. She is so distant and right now i really need her, when she needed me (always the same problem) i was there and never got tired. I always gave her gifts bcus i appreciated her as a friend but for some reason i never felt that appreciation. Now she told me our friendship changed, but that we are still best friends bcus she knows that im a very good friend and that if she ever needs something, she knows i will be there 😔 Opinions? Suggestions? What do i do?
FYI we work together and I hate that people will not see us like we use to be, bcus we always have lunch together, however she did mention "dont buy me gifts anymore, but you can still buy/bring me lunch"
Here's what you do. You don't bring your "friend" anything. She can get her own lunch. Leave her alone except for work related things. When you are dealing with work assignments, then you be professional, courteous and non emotional. This is called, adulting.
She doesn't want to be your friend. And, perhaps she has inadvertently told you the truth about your actions. Change yourself while you are still young enough to do so. Quit making the same mistakes.
Find other friends, or find other activities to fill your time.
It is not unusual for friends, especially work friends, to become bored with one another.
Back when was in my early or mid 20s, I was having a lot of problems. Work was not going well, my bf at the time was a jerk but I was too afraid to break up with him, and in general my life was crap. And I would complain to everyone about it (family and friends I mean). And they would all try giving me advice about how to handle certain things but I didn't take any of their advice and just kept complaining.
Sooner or later, one by one, they all got tired of my complaining because I wasn't doing anything to improve my situation. I just sat there complaining. It wasn't until one of my friends finally snapped me out of it by literally screaming to my face that everyone was sick of hearing it because I was doing nothing about it and until I made some changes, I should just shut the F up and stop complaining to everyone. At that point I realized that I was the problem because I was not actively trying to improve my life.
So I have a very strong suspicion that this friend of yours is really tired of you going on and on and on about the same stuff day in and day out since you won't make any moves towards improving your situation. You're the only one who can change the course of your life. So are you going to keep doing the same thing that keeps making you miserable? Or are you going to move a chess piece and make your next move? The choice is yours.
I just have one question about all this, I don't know what state you're from (I'm assuming Texas?) but for my daughter, school's been out since June 22nd... How hasn't your school been out for the summer yet?
Regardless, this friend of yours doesn't sound like a genuine friend at all. She sounds like she's using you to get what she wants. Of course you shouldn't continue buying her lunch, put your foot down and say no.
Also, a friend who gets tired of her friend talking about her issues doesn't sound like a great friend to me. If I were you I'd cut ties with her.
Pleeeeease tell me you're NOT going to buy/bring her a lunch anymore.
She sounds like she's only YOUR friend when SHE'S in need. What she said to you "YOU DON'T HAVE THE BALLS TO DO IT" is sickening....pathetic
You need to lose this leech...but it sounds to me like you'll be waiting on the back burner for her...to jump whenever she says so......very sad, I'm sorry for you.
My suggestion would be that you let this "friend" go...do yourself that favor.
You're better off with NO friends than you are with her... for a friend.
I think she's tired of you...wants nothinbg more to do with you...or any problems you have. She's only interested in keeping the phony friendship alive because of the material gifts you give her....sorry
Thank u, she did tell me she is pregnant and she no longer wants me to think the world revolve around me. I gave her a gucci diaper bag and she told me that she was taking it but that i shouldnt be buying her friendship, But i think it goes beyond that.When i found out she was pregnant i bought her a $350 edible arrangement for her and her husband. And i also gave her husband a "new dad" gift . She talked to me the whole day that day as always but we are back to the cold shoulder. She made me realize that she doesnt want my friendship, but i do feel sorry for her bcus she just pushed a wonderful friend out of her life. I still feel very hurt bcus i was always there when she needed me and when i needed her to listen and just give me a hug she told me no... I really do wish her the best bcus even thou she is a pretty <snip>bad friend, shes a great person. Thanks for your post!
Last edited by Miss Blue; 07-06-2016 at 06:12 AM..
Reason: edited the filtered word
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
