Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-15-2018, 02:54 PM
 
1,733 posts, read 1,198,271 times
Reputation: 9511

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by xxblue100 View Post
Because we don't feel obligated to follow society's dumb rules that high school friends have to want nothing to do with each other after high school. All of us prefer this group over our other friend groups and have fun together. Therefore, we remain friends. And I also am the punching bag of the 2 friend groups I am in, not just this one.
What? I've been out of high school a looonnnnnggg time and have moved about a great deal in "society" without ever hearing any such whackadoodle "rule."

It's curious that you're the butt of the joke in two groups. They're getting something out of it. And so are you since you stay. You're going to have to not react to the point of making it boring for these guys to continue.

And how did your cousins start up with it? Do they interact with the same guys or did you tell them about it?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-15-2018, 02:57 PM
 
1,914 posts, read 2,234,849 times
Reputation: 14562
Quote:
Originally Posted by hertfordshire View Post
Find new friends who aren't so juvenile?
^^^This^^^


Your "friends" are apparently suffering from chronic immaturity. They appear to derive pleasure from making you the target of their juvenile behavior and clearly have no interest in how it makes you feel.


The question is not how you can change their behavior, because you can't. The real question is why do you continue to associate with people who clearly enjoy making you unhappy? Surely you deserve better treatment than that.


You cannot change them. Only they can change, but they will have to want to do so. They appear to believe they get some benefit from their hurtful comments, so they are unlikely to experience any kind of epiphany that will make them want to stop.


The only cure for this kind of bad treatment is to refuse to accept it any longer. Find something else to do with your time. Find new friends. Or just learn to enjoy your own company until you encounter a better class of friend.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-15-2018, 03:02 PM
 
Location: Texas Hill Country
1,820 posts, read 1,412,984 times
Reputation: 5696
You appear to have next to zero self-esteem. Otherwise, you would long ago have found real friends, instead of constantly sucking up to people who see you as a convenient punching bag for juvenile "jokes" that could very well impact negatively on your future.

Get some counseling on how to build your self-esteem. Stop hanging around with those losers.

You have to change yourself. Can't change them. When you start to treat yourself better, you'll begin to understand why they are NOT. YOUR. FRIENDS.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-15-2018, 03:11 PM
 
714 posts, read 744,891 times
Reputation: 1586
Why do you write on here complaining about how your friends treat you?

People answer "get new friends"

You respond saying that you like the treatment.

Why post? I honestly don't get it. People give you advice and you defend those that s*** all over you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-15-2018, 03:20 PM
 
Location: Vermont
11,754 posts, read 14,612,870 times
Reputation: 18503
"Guys, we all know this is false. More to the point, your joke implies that there is something wrong with being gay and that is offensive. I will not tolerate it."


Then, if you hear the joke, leave. No matter where you are or what you're doing, leave.


They will either realize that you are serious and stop or they won't stop and you at least won't be surrounded by a bunch of offensive jerks. Win-win.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-15-2018, 05:28 PM
 
820 posts, read 966,803 times
Reputation: 826
Quote:
Originally Posted by CatzPaw View Post
What? I've been out of high school a looonnnnnggg time and have moved about a great deal in "society" without ever hearing any such whackadoodle "rule."

It's curious that you're the butt of the joke in two groups. They're getting something out of it. And so are you since you stay. You're going to have to not react to the point of making it boring for these guys to continue.

And how did your cousins start up with it? Do they interact with the same guys or did you tell them about it?
It's not my cousins. I was just trying to protect identities, but that was silly. There are 2 friend groups that do it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2018, 12:14 AM
 
7,986 posts, read 5,360,344 times
Reputation: 35553
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxblue100 View Post
We joke about each other all the time in a non-harmful way, but one of the more uncomfortable jokes going around right now is that one of the members of the group, Jake, and I, are a couple and in love.
And that there is the problem. Who decides which joking around is non-harmful?
Sounds like an odd group of "friends". Sounds more like making fun of people rather than joking around. I have never been in a group that "jokes around making fun of people".
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2018, 07:48 AM
 
5,989 posts, read 6,750,246 times
Reputation: 18485
These guys sound like jerks, but most people on forums like these are introverts who have trouble with real interaction, so the fact that you have several groups of friends is wonderful.

If you feel that it's worthwhile maintaining contact with the ----- who are doing this, then try turning it right back at them. People who tease others about their sexual orientation are usually insecure about their own. So I agree, turn it right back at them, by saying, "Why are you doing this when I've told you to cut it out? You know, people who make snide remarks about other people's sexual orientation are usually just trying to throw up a smokescreen to detract attention from their own homosexuality. If you're gay, face up to it, instead of trying to hide it by pushing it off onto other people." Send a group text to the entire group to this effect.

This type of behavior is typical of 13 year old boys. Most boys mature out of this by high school. What kind of idiots are these, that they persist in this kind of behavior?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2018, 10:13 AM
 
973 posts, read 911,164 times
Reputation: 1781
It's just typical roasting in a guy's group. Surprised that this would bother you since you say you have thick skin. The more you try to get them to stop, the more it'll go no, so either you grow thicker skin or you find a new group of friends.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2018, 01:32 PM
 
Location: Midwest
9,321 posts, read 11,076,011 times
Reputation: 17683
Quote:
Originally Posted by hertfordshire View Post
Find new friends who aren't so juvenile?
Quote:
Originally Posted by softcrunch View Post
First of all, DON'T play along if you DO mind. Period.

Also, how is Jake taking this?

You CAN tell them to grow the F up and don't take it that just because you're friends means can joke anything about you, or with you. Tell them it'll be the last of your friendship if they ever joke about it again. Be assertive with your boundaries.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Praline View Post
If I were you, I'd say something like: "Are you hitting on me? I'm creeped out now."

or, "You know, since you are constantly joking about sexuality, I'm beginning to wonder if you are uncertain about your own."
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxblue100 View Post
Oh, I’m sure. He’s never had a girlfriend but has expressed interest in a large number of girls and is very religious as well, so I don’t even think he’d like the idea.
If none of that ^^ works in a couple of weeks, tell this group of "friends" that you're outta there. It's been real, it's been nice, but it hasn't been real nice.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:47 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top