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For the past few years, I have had men make really rude and uncalled for comments about how I look. It is a strange issue that no one else I have spoken to deals with, not even people that are legitimately considered unattractive even by themselves.
I have had men at work (ages 30+) tell me to my face that I am ugly for no reason and completely out of the blue. Last month I had a coworker tell me I am a plain jane. He doesn't shower, comb his hair or clean his ears but he needed to let me know I wasn't attractive for no reason one day. I was nice and pleasant towards him, so his comment came across as an insult. He was very abusive to my work time with his constant chatter and need for attention. If my headphones were on, he would basically tap me on the shoulder to talk. I finally told my manager what he was doing and he was moved to another room.
I have been out to eat and teenage boys will yell I am ugly loud enough so I can hear it as I walk by. I noticed that they did not seem to do that to any of the other women there were plenty with varying looks. Since these are kids, I will give them a pass.
On dating websites, after sifting through the endless emails, there always seems to be the one person asking if I am transgender or just thought he would tell me I am ugly. But, I think that is unfortunately the nature of online dating.
I am legitimately not ugly. I have done some modeling work in the past I am still approached to model for photographers. I am honestly baffled why men are always trying to tell me I am ugly or extremely average for literally no reason. I have told this to some of my friends and my fiance, and they all laugh because it sounds absurd and ridiculous, but this happens to me all the time. As a matter of fact, it only seems to get worse with age.
And not to make this a male vs. female thing, but these comments only come from men. Comments like that have never come from women. I am 35 years old so I am really confused why this is still happening.
Write up is useless without a picture, please post one and we will give you an honest answer.
It shouldn't matter if someone is as wide as they are tall, and ugly as a mud fence, that does not make it okay for people to make random comments about it just to be mean.
I would say that people these days have been raised by wolves, but that would be unfair to wolves.
I don't really give a damn what the OP looks like, there is not excuse for people to act that way. If she has a nasty personality or an attitude problem, let them address that honestly.
You could write a dissertation on your issue. But if you come to a random site and post a story that is all about looks, something that only the visual can put in perspective to the random person, and don't post a picture, then in my opinion there's nothing to really be said by strangers here.
For the past few years, I have had men make really rude and uncalled for comments about how I look. It is a strange issue that no one else I have spoken to deals with, not even people that are legitimately considered unattractive even by themselves.
I have had men at work (ages 30+) tell me to my face that I am ugly for no reason and completely out of the blue. Last month I had a coworker tell me I am a plain jane. He doesn't shower, comb his hair or clean his ears but he needed to let me know I wasn't attractive for no reason one day. I was nice and pleasant towards him, so his comment came across as an insult. He was very abusive to my work time with his constant chatter and need for attention. If my headphones were on, he would basically tap me on the shoulder to talk. I finally told my manager what he was doing and he was moved to another room.
I have been out to eat and teenage boys will yell I am ugly loud enough so I can hear it as I walk by. I noticed that they did not seem to do that to any of the other women there were plenty with varying looks. Since these are kids, I will give them a pass.
On dating websites, after sifting through the endless emails, there always seems to be the one person asking if I am transgender or just thought he would tell me I am ugly. But, I think that is unfortunately the nature of online dating.
I am legitimately not ugly. I have done some modeling work in the past I am still approached to model for photographers. I am honestly baffled why men are always trying to tell me I am ugly or extremely average for literally no reason. I have told this to some of my friends and my fiance, and they all laugh because it sounds absurd and ridiculous, but this happens to me all the time. As a matter of fact, it only seems to get worse with age.
And not to make this a male vs. female thing, but these comments only come from men. Comments like that have never come from women. I am 35 years old so I am really confused why this is still happening.
What field of work are you in? I have worked with men many times, even exclusively and have never had a man say something like that.....it seems extreme.
And, sense I find what you're describing to be very out of the ordinary....Has your boyfriend or friends ever witnessed the cat calls like you described in the fast food restaurant? Or do these situations only occur when you are alone?
Jabber Wocky, In this thread alone you have said people have called you:
Plain Jane
Ugly
Exotic
Exotic and Plain Jane are exact opposites of the spectrum.
Exotic means EVERYONE notices your look, and it will elicit a strong opinion, either good or bad.
Plain Jane means NOBODY notices your looks, and nobody would refer to your looks except some 'mother hen' trying to give you beauty advice. You simply can't be an ugly or exotic Plain Jane.
If you live in some classless small town where everyone is Northern European, and you are truly exotic in an East Asian way that they have never seen before, then perhaps they are equating your appearance with that of a person with Down's Syndrome?
Or maybe they just don't like you for other reasons, and they are too socially damaged to confront you about those issues. Something like a hygiene issue or you unconsciously look like you are scowling all of the time.
I had something like this happen to me while I was in my 20s and living in a tiny rural, working-class town. Like everyone else there at the time (1980s), I'm white. My friends (and my mother, of course!) tell me that I'm very pretty. Nonetheless, in this town, young male passersby would call out rude remarks and awful names. They did this only while in a car or on the other side of the street. It didn't happen every day, but I could count on hearing something every week or two. It was, as I recall, only a small number of guys who did this. And nobody ever asked me out.
I had not grown up here, but people knew who I was, because I worked for a well-known local establishment whose owner was a respected and high-ranking member of the community.
Eventually I learned the cause. I was sharing an apartment with a friend of mine, who was also employed in town, and my friend was, like me, a twentysomething woman. Virtually all the other women our age in town were married with kids by our age. They thought we were lesbians. So did my boss, who kept me on because I was very good at what I did and he hoped to "save" me.
And not to make this a male vs. female thing, but these comments only come from men. Comments like that have never come from women. I am 35 years old so I am really confused why this is still happening.
Trust me, women can and do make mean comments about other womens' appearance.
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