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I'm a 25 year old nursing student. In my group, I am one of two women who don't have children (the other one is married) while the other students are single, with out of wedlock children. One of my classmates who I thought was a decent person, will out of nowhere say to me "you need to hurry up and get married before its too late". She has no idea how old I am nor does she know my relationship status. Then once someone mentioned me being young only for her to say "who is young?" with a sly grin on her face. She keeps implying that I'm old and need to get married before its too late.
I feel that my personal decision to remain childless and single is none of her business. I find it strange that she keeps pressuring me to get married instead of pressuring the single mothers to get married because they have children. Her behavior has made me really insecure about myself and my appearance. I am not old nor do I think I look old. Should I report her to the dean because I am sick and tired of this
That isn't bullying, it's simple harmless teasing. You need to grow a thicker skin and ignore it, you're letting her teasing get under your skin. It's a silly thing to be getting upset about. If you report her to the dean the dean will be more concerned and doubtful about YOU for being immature and overly sensitive and he'll wonder if you have made a big mistake and chosen the wrong occupation for yourself.
If you are 25 y.o. now and are so sensitive about some silly person saying such harmless, silly stuff to you then maybe you're training for the wrong profession because you will be getting a lot worse and more harmful personal comments than that once you are a nurse. If you can't cope with silly stuff like what that woman is saying to you then when you become a nurse how will you be able to cope with the really serious personal comments and complaints that come from your own sick patients that you have to be nice to?
Can we – especially adults – stop labeling every time someone is a jerk to us as bullying? No, you should not report her to the dean. You should start developing some backbone and stand up for yourself.
Unless you secretly *do* wish you were married or had children already, why would you let this bother you so much? You're 25. You know you're not old. You know today that most women (who may want to marry) are not married by 25. You're busy getting your education while you're unencumbered by responsibilities to others – that's smart! If you don't want to marry or have kids, it's nunna her bidness anyway.
Do you just take it or do you respond to her? You don't want to become Nurse Ratchet but you'll never make it as Nurse Doormat either.
Is she the student who is married? Develop some snappy comebacks. When she says you need to hurry up, you could look pensive and ask, "Hmm. You're married. So maybe it's true when they say misery loves company?" Let her chew on that one for a bit. Or a brisk "Guess I'll take my chances!" Work at not letting her get to you. You might even find that she'll respect you if you're not an easy target for teasing and become friends.
You're going to have lots of challenges as a nurse from doctors, other nurses, techs, admins, and patients and their families. You need to buck up and start developing better coping mechanisms and not expect to have someone else fight your battles for you.
You're right it's none of her business, so tell her to **** off or better yet just ignore her. You don't have to explain your lifestyle choices to fellow students, and besides it sounds like she was purposely trying to annoy you. Don't give her the satisfaction of seeing you rattled.
That isn't bullying, it's simple harmless teasing. You need to grow a thicker skin and ignore it, you're letting her teasing get under your skin. It's a silly thing to be getting upset about. If you report her to the dean the dean will be more concerned and doubtful about YOU for being immature and overly sensitive and he'll wonder if you have made a big mistake and chosen the wrong occupation for yourself.
If you are 25 y.o. now and are so sensitive about some silly person saying such harmless, silly stuff to you then maybe you're training for the wrong profession because you will be getting a lot worse and more harmful personal comments than that once you are a nurse. If you can't cope with silly stuff like what that woman is saying to you then when you become a nurse how will you be able to cope with the really serious personal comments and complaints that come from your own sick patients that you have to be nice to?
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Sorry but implying that I look old and that I need to hurry up and get married before its too late is not what I call 'harmless teasing'. It's really disrespectful and unprofessional and I don't think that I am being immature for wanting to report it. It's not acceptable at all
Last edited by misssusie123; 02-22-2018 at 03:51 AM..
Can we – especially adults – stop labeling every time someone is a jerk to us as bullying? No, you should not report her to the dean. You should start developing some backbone and stand up for yourself.
Unless you secretly *do* wish you were married or had children already, why would you let this bother you so much? You're 25. You know you're not old. You know today that most women (who may want to marry) are not married by 25. You're busy getting your education while you're unencumbered by responsibilities to others – that's smart! If you don't want to marry or have kids, it's nunna her bidness anyway.
It bothers me because its NONE of her business and its completely out of line for her to make those statements to me in front of everyone in class. I mentioned I had a boyfriend but she still keeps making that remark every now and then that I need to hurry up and get married. As for her, she is not married, she is a single mother with two kids and a live-in boyfriend.
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Do you just take it or do you respond to her? You don't want to become Nurse Ratchet but you'll never make it as Nurse Doormat either.
I ignore her because I what I really want to say may get me expelled from the program.
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Is she the student who is married? Develop some snappy comebacks. When she says you need to hurry up, you could look pensive and ask, "Hmm. You're married. So maybe it's true when they say misery loves company?" Let her chew on that one for a bit. Or a brisk "Guess I'll take my chances!" Work at not letting her get to you. You might even find that she'll respect you if you're not an easy target for teasing and become friends.
No, she's not married. She's lives with her boyfriend and his parents.
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You're going to have lots of challenges as a nurse from doctors, other nurses, techs, admins, and patients and their families. You need to buck up and start developing better coping mechanisms and not expect to have someone else fight your battles for you.
But if someone is being disrespectful to me, reporting them is a good way to put an end to it
Welcome to the wonderful world of being childfree by choice! And you are single by choice too! Double whammy.
No, you are not being bullied so i think going to the Dean is an overreaction.
The way to respond to people like this is to bust out laughing. Seriously. Like they are a total joke. Even if you feel insecure and hurt by what they say, you need to exude confidence and pride, even if you are faking it. And after you bust out laughing, add "yeah, misery loves company, right?" and wink at them. Act like you are getting a real kick out of the whole subject.
You need to OWN your lifestyle and be proud of it! It disarms people and renders them speechless.
Grow up. Why do you give her, or anyone, your power?
Huh? I'm not giving her any power. It's completely NONE of her business what my relationship status is. And for her to loudly announce that I need to hurry up and get married before its too late is very humiliating to do. She is just trying to shame me
Welcome to the wonderful world of being childfree by choice! And you are single by choice too! Double whammy.
No, you are not being bullied so i think going to the Dean is an overreaction.
The way to respond to people like this is to bust out laughing. Seriously. Like they are a total joke. Even if you feel insecure and hurt by what they say, you need to exude confidence and pride, even if you are faking it. And after you bust out laughing, add "yeah, misery loves company, right?" and wink at them. Act like you are getting a real kick out of the whole subject.
You need to OWN your lifestyle and be proud of it! It disarms people and renders them speechless.
This. What is the dean supposed to do, exactly? Say to the offender, "don't do that anymore??" Ignore this student and avoid her like the flu. If she persists, tell her where she can go and what she can do with her comments, and mean it when you say it. What you do with your life and your body is your business.
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