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So your saying to condemn the whole due to the misbehavior of one? Then why are you even friends with this person since she is Catholic? Or any other Catholic? Why even be Christian? Why believe in God?
Why do you think that someone has to be Christian or Catholic to believe in a God?
I have major issues with the Catholic Church and I won’t step foot in one. My friend is mad at me because I told her I cannot come to the ceremony. I told her I would like to attend the reception. Now she doesn’t want to come at all. Which is fine. It’s her day.
Is it necessary to go to the ceremony?
No, it's not necessary to go to the ceremony but you made a social mistake in expecting you should still be invited to attend the reception. A wedding ceremony is more important than a reception and it shouldn't matter to invited guests what location it takes place in or who officiates. You snubbed and insulted the bride and the bride was correct in telling you that you're no longer invited.
I'm guessing you told the bride why you wouldn't come to the ceremony and that would have been a huge mistake. A seriously HUGE mistake !!! Really poor social etiquette.
Now you have again snubbed and insulted the bride (who clearly must have thought of you as more than a mere acquaintance otherwise she wouldn't have invited you to her wedding) by back-pedaling and saying here that she's just an acquaintance and she and her wedding day isn't important to you. You've insulted her religious beliefs and faith, and you insulted her intelligence and her good nature by thinking she would be okay with it for you to skip the ceremony but go to the reception.
Now you can cross her off your list of friends and you can consider this a quick lesson in how to lose a friend, and maybe more than one. I bet you didn't think of this but you've also earned yourself some scorn and shaming snubbing from any other wedding guests who know both you and the bride. Because when they ask her why you didn't attend (and they will) she's bound to tell them honestly that she had to dis-invite you and the reason why.
Hopefully you won't make any other similar social mistakes in the future that will get you dis-invited and scorned by other friends to other functions.
Here is my take: if you would normally attend someone’s wedding, you should attend no matter the venue, assuming doing so is reasonably convenient and that the venue is not hazardous or revolting. Your attendance has nothing to do with your unhappiness with the Catholic Church. You will not be asked for money or pressured in any way. You attend a wedding because you are happy to witness and celebrate with your friend.
You are making your friend’s wedding about your feelings. Of all times in the world, this is when you put aside your feelings, and show up for your friend. Same with a funeral. You put aside your feelings, and show up for your friend.
I am sorry about your brother but you really did the wrong thing here. I can't believe you asked if you could go to the reception after rudely turning down the wedding invite regardless of the reason. I agree you have just lost a friend over this.
I have major issues with the Catholic Church and I won’t step foot in one. My friend is mad at me because I told her I cannot come to the ceremony. I told her I would like to attend the reception. Now she doesn’t want to come at all. Which is fine. It’s her day.
Is it necessary to go to the ceremony?
Well if she really is a friend, I would put aside my beef with the Catholic Church for just a few hours and go to the wedding. You are not going to a regular church service, it's a wedding ceremony. It's the people that makes the church, not the physical building. Perhaps you are using the word friend too casually here. Anybody I call a friend, I take that seriously and would support them on their special day. Then you can go back to hating on the Church after the wedding. Unless, you have beat up on the church so much and have said some really mean things towards them, that you are terrified to step inside of one. Just go to confession then go to the wedding.
Ok thanks for all the opinions. I’m good with my decision.
Obviously she didn't like the responses and bugged out of her own thread. LOL. She says it's no big deal, yet she took the time to start a thread expecting most to reinforce her decision. Well we didn't, 90% of the posts were critical of her move.
Her behavior here and with her friend says a lot about her.
I have major issues with the Catholic Church and I won’t step foot in one. My friend is mad at me because I told her I cannot come to the ceremony. I told her I would like to attend the reception. Now she doesn’t want to come at all. Which is fine. It’s her day.
Is it necessary to go to the ceremony?
She may be a friend to you, but you certainly are not a friend to her. Friends do not do this to true friends.
Obviously she didn't like the responses and bugged out of her own thread. LOL. She says it's no big deal, yet she took the time to start a thread expecting most to reinforce her decision. Well we didn't, 90% of the posts were critical of her move. Her behavior here and with her friend says a lot about her.
Hi everyone ... just another observation from the cheap bleacher seats. I've read most of the replies and, not unexpectedly, they are thoughtful and well meaning from the many insightful members of C-D forum.
When a thread is started, the originator should be prepared for some occasional criticism, sometimes quite muted and polite and other times surprisingly scathing. Since that can occur when a poster solicits feedback on the paint color used in one's home, there should be no jolt to the central nervous system when the discussion delves into the broader, contentious issues of sexual abuse from a priest and the catholic church in general. Mindsets quickly are locked in as painful memories are dredged up, passions rise and family loyalty contributes to inflexibility.
I believe the OP expected a wave of solid reinforcement for her views and when the tide turned, all the marbles were collected and the discussion abruptly ended in terms of her continuing contribution, which is intended to benefit both herself and the rest of us. She is entitled to her opinion ... regrettably, she and many other people in this world bristle at an honest critique because it is far more natural for them to tightly hold on to an illusory belief that they are so mainstream and reasonable, blessed with wisdom, persuasive in their presentation, mature beyond their years and, let us not forget, richly deserving of a well-padded, protective buffer that will always be in place to spare their delicate sensibilities from the hard knocks that are encountered daily in the real world. If only things worked that way ...
Hi everyone ... just another observation from the cheap bleacher seats. I've read most of the replies and, not unexpectedly, they are thoughtful and well meaning from the many insightful members of C-D forum.
When a thread is started, the originator should be prepared for some occasional criticism, sometimes quite muted and polite and other times surprisingly scathing. Since that can occur when a poster solicits feedback on the paint color used in one's home, there should be no jolt to the central nervous system when the discussion delves into the broader, contentious issues of sexual abuse from a priest and the catholic church in general. Mindsets quickly are locked in as painful memories are dredged up, passions rise and family loyalty contributes to inflexibility.
I believe the OP expected a wave of solid reinforcement for her views and when the tide turned, all the marbles were collected and the discussion abruptly ended in terms of her continuing contribution, which is intended to benefit both herself and the rest of us. She is entitled to her opinion ... regrettably, she and many other people in this world bristle at an honest critique because it is far more natural for them to tightly hold on to an illusory belief that they are so mainstream and reasonable, blessed with wisdom, persuasive in their presentation, mature beyond their years and, let us not forget, richly deserving of a well-padded, protective buffer that will always be in place to spare their delicate sensibilities from the hard knocks that are encountered daily in the real world. If only things worked that way ...
This is all true for the majority of the posts/posters on CD.
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