Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
What do you think of this situation? Family members (parents w/two kids) come into town from cross country once a year. They invite relatives to a pizza playground for a birthday party for their son when it's not his birthday. They have done this two months earlier than his birthday and three months later than his birthday. This year he will be six and old enough to know he only gets one birthday a year. It seems silly and a big charade to have people bring gifts and sing Happy Birthday to a lit birthday cake when it's not even close to his birthday! I could see if it was within two weeks, but not two or three months! The pizza is terrible and the other kids are noisy and annoying (understandably in a place like that). Our place is too small for visitors. We want to see the family but don't want to participate in the phony birthday party. What's a nice way to tell them?
They don't sing Happy Birthday to the other, but some people even bring gifts for her too - her birthday is even farther away from the times they visit!
In some families it is very common to have huge birthday celebrations with all of the relatives, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Imagine if you were the family that lived out of town and your child never was able to have a party like that.
On Hubby's side there is one other grandchild (and for many, many years he was the only grand-nephew/niece). He lived in the same community as all of the relatives. Since we lived 1,000 miles away we never attended any of his birthday parties but we, and our children heard all of the details and were often sent photographs. Not only did his aunts & uncles attend his birthday party but his parents aunts and uncles attended the party, too. The parties were like mini-family reunions with dozens of people, but with presents for the birthday boy. Our son was the same age and, as a young child, wondered why grandma & grandpa didn't throw huge birthday parties for him and why didn't he have birthday parties with dozens of people (and dozens of presents).
We never had a birthday party for him, or our daughter, when we were in town visiting the relatives, but I can understand why some families would do that. Now, I don't understand why they just have a party for one child and not for both children.
I suspect that they are doing this more as an excuse to see all of the extended relatives all at one time, plus if they hold it at a child friendly place they won't have as many problems compared to having it at a nice restaurant.
If your place is too small to hold everybody why don't you rent an area in a park for the next time that they will be in town and hold a pot-luck picnic for the relatives. I bet if you let them know in advance they won't hold the birthday celebration at the pizza place. And, how small IS your place? Hubby and I have held parties, including dinners, with 30 plus people in tiny apartments. Unless you have a studio apartment, or a huge, huge family, maybe you should invite everyone to your place.
BTW, why does this bother you so much? Why would a four, five and six year old "know" that he only gets one birthday celebration per year? Are the parents paying for the pizza and drinks or does everyone pay for their own? Do you just think that it is a "gift grab" by the parents? Do they give birthday gifts to their children's cousins?
Last edited by germaine2626; 02-28-2018 at 09:54 AM..
The kids have birthdays with their mother's side of the family, who live closer to them. I just don't see the need for a "birthday party" when there's no birthday. They should know you don't turn the same age twice in one year, nor do you go up two years in the same year. Additionally, these kids never act excited to be at this "fun place". They sit quietly at the table and don't even ask to play. Might as well be at another restaurant that the adults would enjoy.
The kids have birthdays with their mother's side of the family, who live closer to them. I just don't see the need for a "birthday party" when there's no birthday. They should know you don't turn the same age twice in one year, nor do you go up two years in the same year. Additionally, these kids never act excited to be at this "fun place". They sit quietly at the table and don't even ask to play. Might as well be at another restaurant that the adults would enjoy.
Maybe because they're freaked out about you scowling the whole time?
Along the same vein:
My SILs and BILs (3 different families) started having 6 month birthday parties for all their kids...as in a 6 year party followed by a 6 1/2 year party followed by the 7th birthday party. Between them they had 11 kids!!! It was not only ridiculous but expensive for us (and we have no kids).
Definite gift grab. If they want to have a family get together, that's fine. But don't call it a birthday party, and don't expect gifts.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
