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I have a real problem feeling sorry for drug addicts. I have no desire to offer my condolences because it would be a fake with no sincerity. I so not believe that addicts have disease it is a choice. Everyone knows that people destroy their lives with drugs so why anyone would starting using makes no sense and if you choose that life you deserve whatever you get.
I hope, if you have kids, that they never get messed up on drugs. But if they did, would you stop caring about them?
I have a few cousins that have always been screw ups and all became drug addicts. All have been in and out of jail for years. My young cousin just overdosed and died a couple of days ago and everyone on that side of the family is making her out to be a saint now.
No, they're just trying to find comfort by focusing on the good. There's nothing wrong with that.
If you can't manage to find a bit of compassion, then just stay away from all of them. Your obvious disdain for your cousin and that side of the family will only compound their pain.
I understand how OP feels....anger that the deceased caused so much misery to others, and wasted his life. That is no reason not to have sympathy for the family. If they could have prevented the drug abuse, they would have. It’s not their fault.
What does respecting the grieving family members have to do with respecting an addict?
It doesn't matter if you feel sympathy for the dead person. Can you muster up some sympathy for the family who is in pain?
Lack of empathy is disturbing.
Your cousin was a human being and loved by members of your family. Try and be sympathetic to those who are grieving. Be careful of the way you treat and judge people because you never know what could happen in your life. Life is not lived in black and white but the gray areas. My sympathies to your family. All the best.
I have a few cousins that have always been screw ups and all became drug addicts. All have been in and out of jail for years. My young cousin just overdosed and died a couple of days ago and everyone on that side of the family is making her out to be a saint now. I have zero sympathy for any of them since they all stood by for years while she was a junkie. I am frankly disgusted by her and them. I have a real problem feeling sorry for drug addicts. I have no desire to offer my condolences because it would be a fake with no sincerity. I so not believe that addicts have disease it is a choice. Everyone knows that people destroy their lives with drugs so why anyone would starting using makes no sense and if you choose that life you deserve whatever you get.
Bitter much? Regardless of her addiction she was a living breathing human being and I can't fathom your callousness.
I have a few cousins that have always been screw ups and all became drug addicts. All have been in and out of jail for years. My young cousin just overdosed and died a couple of days ago and everyone on that side of the family is making her out to be a saint now. I have zero sympathy for any of them since they all stood by for years while she was a junkie. I am frankly disgusted by her and them. I have a real problem feeling sorry for drug addicts. I have no desire to offer my condolences because it would be a fake with no sincerity. I so not believe that addicts have disease it is a choice. Everyone knows that people destroy their lives with drugs so why anyone would starting using makes no sense and if you choose that life you deserve whatever you get.
If you don't want to offer condolences, then don't. But you don't need to point out the fact that you won't, either. They will get the message quite clearly simply as the result of your silence.
Of course, they will get the message from silence. When my mom passed, a couple of family members who had issues with her during her lifetime, did not offer any condolences via email, card, phone call, anything else. I got the picture. But my life doesn't revolve around their grievances against my mother.
OP, your post highlights a large societal problem.
We spend trillions every year trying to make healthy people who are trying to destroy themselves.
We accommodate drug abusers, and try to make them healthy...We do the same for people who are overweight...spending billions on special diets, beds, wheel chairs and you name it to accommodate their obesity. And what about guns? How much do we spend every day on the senseless slaughters in our schools? Health care? People don't have it so we carry them for free when they don't pay their hospital bills.
Little by little it degrades our society. Your attitude seems to be along the lines of "survival of the fittest."
At some point we have to revert to that in order to protect our survival. We now seem to wish to try to 'cure' the unfit. We do everything possible to keep them alive. Maybe it is time to let them go. If you wish to be stupid and do dumb things, you are going to die, and society is not going to try and protect you from yourself. You overdose, you die. You have no health insurance or can't pay, you die? You make poor decisions about diet, or other personal behaviors that can kill you, we let you go.
Harsh? yes. Absolutely. But we are giving too many people a free ride. Sympathy for a doper who dies? Maybe using them as an example who have better outcomes for society.
Send a note of care to those who survive your cousin. Just do the perfunctory thing, but don't change your voice that people who do dumb things must pay a price. We can no longer carry everyone who wants to play, but expects the rest of us to pay.
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