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Oh, man, I saw this again and thought I'd take another look at the last page. There's something wrong with this woman. Sometimes you get a clue by their kids or spouse...either the same and easier to figure out or the opposite.
I'd keep LOL ing or a quizzical look and "huh" in the three dimensional world. If she calls you on it, tell her whatever it was she was doing/writing/saying was so crazy you know she couldn't mean it and walk away/continue whatever you were doing/say, so...I need to get going bye.
It is so nice to have confirmation. Because I knew when I sat in her home waiting for that damn pizza that she was waiting for me to pay. I am not nuts!! LOL. You get a feeling, but feelings are not proof. Finance my retirement house, that's proof!
I spend my winters in South Carolina and live in my cabin from May - December, thank you. But it's so kind of you to ask me to pay for your new house. I'm honored!!! LOL
Yes, it is her family. It's actually a cousin, she reconnected with him through Facebook and hadn't seen him in 30 years. The guy is married. He and his wife work. The trip was supposed to be for a week and then she stayed an extra 2, now she's staying till the end of April. Me personally, I would not be sitting in someone's house for an extra 5 weeks while they get up and go to work. That's just me. My family, I love them dearly and they love me. But if I told any of my siblings I was visiting for a week and just stuck around for an extra 5 they would tell me "I love you dearly, but you need to go home."
I would just be blunt and clear. "No thanks, I have my own retirement plan."
If asked again, "You can't be for real. I said no."
Or "When did I marry you and your husband?"
I did, I text her and let her know I'm already set for my retirement plan. Can you imagine the audacity? I love how she mentions that "we can come here on spring break; etc." She knows that the last 3 years my daughters spring break and mine haven't coincided. She goes to private school and I work in the public school system. So when exactly were "we" (and of course I don't even know if that "we" is me and my daughter or just she and her husband) are supposed to go to this wonderful retirement home that I'm financing. My daughter spent her spring break in her schools child care program and I spent mine at home while she was at school. But "we" can drive down to WV on spring break.
My cabin is just 1 hour and 40 minutes away. I'll just stick to that plan!!!
I did, I text her and let her know I'm already set for my retirement plan. Can you imagine the audacity? I love how she mentions that "we can come here on spring break; etc." She knows that the last 3 years my daughters spring break and mine haven't coincided. She goes to private school and I work in the public school system. So when exactly were "we" (and of course I don't even know if that "we" is me and my daughter or just she and her husband) are supposed to go to this wonderful retirement home that I'm financing. My daughter spent her spring break in her schools child care program and I spent mine at home while she was at school. But "we" can drive down to WV on spring break.
My cabin is just 1 hour and 40 minutes away. I'll just stick to that plan!!!
Hey! She probably wants you to drive on those "spring breaks"
This is a very odd story. This wonderful friend, starting with a $5 pizza incident, now stories of her insanity and audacity are pouring in from the past and the present, including visiting her family too long, even though it's not known why that is.
This is a very odd story. This wonderful friend, starting with a $5 pizza incident, now stories of her insanity and audacity are pouring in from the past and the present, including visiting her family too long, even though it's not known why that is.
Let me put it this way. I have about 5 dear girlfriends and 1 dear guy friend that I have known for over 20 - 26 years. Through these years we have counselled each other over relationships, divorces, over raising children, issues in our work places, pushed each other to succeed in these places. I have made mistakes over the years and my friends have warned me of choices they thought were mistakes and vice versa. In all these years we have never crossed boundaries with each other.
Actually, those incidents that I mentioned in this post, the cell phone, the following us to my son's apartment when I told her we had things under control, inviting herself on my vacation to see my family, these are things that I mentioned I personally would not do. But all our friends have done some crazy stuff that doesn't lead to ending your friendship. It may leave you shaking your head but you don't necessarily end your friendships over their dumb choices. But in my relationships, I would consider these incidents as crossing boundaries. However, in the less than 5 years that I've known her these are the only ones I can recall and they're not many.
Going back to the $5 pizza, that entire incident left me feeling as mentioned before, that she was sitting around waiting to see if I would order it and pay for it. It all started with the greeting at the door when she let me know her vacation money was dwindling. We sat there for an 1 hour and 30 minutes with no mention of dinner. In the 20+ years that I have had with my girlfriends not once did any of them ever left me feeling like I was being used. That's the feeling that I walked out of her home with, that I was being taken advantage of. It will leave me wondering if the entire friendship was based on her leading up to my financing her retirement plan. We sure as heck talked about retiring enough times. My last 2 1/2 years here is all about working towards my retirement plan. I will always wonder if that "dinner" at her home which left me and my daughter hungry was just a ploy to sit there and listen to all her family problems, money problems and how she needed this vacation to reconnect with family she hadn't seen in 30 years and just get away from it all. Oh and by the way, can you help us buy our retirement home?
So the morale of the story is when something starts to smell fishy, it's cause something fishy is going on!!!
Two weeks ago a friend sent me a text inviting me and my daughter out to dinner Friday night as she was traveling out of state the next week and wanted to see us before she left. She wanted to know if we wanted to have pizza at the local pizza joint or just order in. I told her she could just get a $5 pizza at Little Caesars as my 9 year old is easy to please, no need in spending any real money. I get to her house after picking up my daughter from school around 4:15 and she has cash in her hand. I thought maybe she was waiting for the delivery guy. She proceeds to tell me that the money she had withdrew for her trip is slowly dwindling down. I didn't think anything of it, but by 5:45 when the pizza hadn't arrived and I realized she had no intentions of ordering one we got our stuff and left.
Is it me or is it a lot of freaking nerve to invite someone over to dinner and then expect them to order it and pay for it? She didn't even offer my child a glass of water or a damn snack!!
On a different note, I'm planning a 1,400 mile road trip to Florida in the summer with my daughter and this same friend has invited herself to tag along. Part of me is wondering if this is a good idea and the other part of me wouldn't mind the company of traveling with another adult in the car. I plan on making several stops along the way, visiting a few states. I've mentioned to her that she will have to have her own money for meals, excursion, etc. but this last experience has got me wondering and shaking my head!
What do you think??
No, point blank no, tell her right out, this is a trip you and your daughter plan to take together...alone.
and yes, what she did was extremely rude...who knows what else would surface living closely like that for a road trip...heck no, no, a thousand times NO.
Tell her you and your daughter have discussed it and want some alone time together....and you both would prefer if she didn't go...if she gets mad, so be it...but you certainly don't want to create problems for a trip you and your daughter both are looking forward to.
if she gets angry tough, she invited herself along, she invited you to dinner, and expected you to pay the bill? I mean, who does that?
Last edited by cremebrulee; 04-06-2018 at 05:17 AM..
It will leave me wondering if the entire friendship was based on her leading up to my financing her retirement plan.
WOW. That is all I have to say. I think you are making giant leaps, but this is great forum to help you do that, and ruin one of your closest friendships.
Quote:
I will always wonder if that "dinner" at her home which left me and my daughter hungry was just a ploy to sit there and listen to all her family problems, money problems and how she needed this vacation to reconnect with family she hadn't seen in 30 years and just get away from it all. Oh and by the way, can you help us buy our retirement home?
LOL. Sure, it was all a big game. A fake $5 pizza hook to rope you into financing her retirement!
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