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Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 7 days ago)
35,630 posts, read 17,968,125 times
Reputation: 50652
Quote:
Originally Posted by kickingthebricks
Others host but not as regularly. Many of our friends don't have the space, time or resources to put together social events. We are happy to provide some social outlet. But to be honest, this particular guest has a few other red flags about advantage taking. For example, her child is very fond of us and asks to visit with us often. We are happy to spend time with her, but mom will be hours late picking her up with some excuse. This has happened more than once.
Ok. So in that case, I think if she tells you again to provide thai or sushi, I'd just say any kind of exotic food that you prefer would be really welcome, feel free to bring it to share - I'm sure the others would be interested.
I grew up in a time when I don't remember anybody being so darn picky.
If I'm invited to your house, I'll either eat what's provided or I can stop on my way home and get myself something I prefer.
If most of these folks are coming at least once a month, they already know what the drill is. They know what you usually provide.
I have a choice to come or not. I have a choice to eat what's provided or not.
I don't know why one should have to take orders for personal preferences. Maybe if it were some kind of association meeting or something, but you say it is not.
Eat or do not, says Yoda. A pain in the booty, do not be.
It's very kind of you to host people and provide food once a month. I wouldn't special order sushi for a kid.
It wasn't for her child-- it was a preference of the adult.
Some background might help? I am from a poor mixed race background. I had a relative pass away and leave me (completely to my surprise) an incredible house in a very lovely neighborhood with other assets to boot. I grew up quite disadvantaged and struggled to put myself through school-- the first in my immediate family. My fiancee comes from a childhood in the foster care system. We have been successful enough in our careers through hard work and luck. But some of our social circle is still from a very poor area and lives in the same circumstances we grew up with. Its one of these people who is asking for the sushi.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 7 days ago)
35,630 posts, read 17,968,125 times
Reputation: 50652
Quote:
Originally Posted by kickingthebricks
It wasn't for her child-- it was a preference of the adult.
Some background might help? I am from a poor mixed race background. I had a relative pass away and leave me (completely to my surprise) an incredible house in a very lovely neighborhood with other assets to boot. I grew up quite disadvantaged and struggled to put myself through school-- the first in my immediate family. My fiancee comes from a childhood in the foster care system. We have been successful enough in our careers through hard work and luck. But some of our social circle is still from a very poor area and lives in the same circumstances we grew up with. Its one of these people who is asking for the sushi.
There. Thank you. Now it all makes sense. ;D You're maybe perceived as the "rich friend" and your friend likes sushi but can't afford it. And she assumes you can and that you don't mind buying really quite expensive food for the others.
There. Thank you. Now it all makes sense. ;D You're maybe perceived as the "rich friend" and your friend likes sushi but can't afford it and assumes you can and that you don't mind buying really quite expensive food for the others.
I think its that, but maybe even a bit beyond that.
In the other example, when she leaves her child with us and then is hours late for pickup, it doesn't have anything to do with our bank accounts. I think her behavior is a bit self-absorbed. Our get togethers are not like an individual restaurant meal. We have food because we are trying to be good hosts. But we can't cater to every dietary whim for fun.
I grew up in a time when I don't remember anybody being so darn picky.
If I'm invited to your house, I'll either eat what's provided or I can stop on my way home and get myself something I prefer.
If most of these folks are coming at least once a month, they already know what the drill is. They know what you usually provide.
I have a choice to come or not. I have a choice to eat what's provided or not.
I don't know why one should have to take orders for personal preferences. Maybe if it were some kind of association meeting or something, but you say it is not.
Eat or do not, says Yoda. A pain in the booty, do not be.
Generally I’d say as a hostess you try to gage your guests preferences ( allergies ,dislikes etc) but in this situation where you are being kind enough to have frequent social gatherings and provide refreshments and food you friend is being rude.
I’d trust your red flags and politely ignore the requests and keep providing what you want or ask her to bring sushi to share.
If "mom" loves sushi (Who the heck makes sushi at home? Hard to do well and is super expensive.) she can eat sushi (or Thai, or Indian) before she comes. I make a mean curry but there's no way I'd serve it to a mixed gathering of people with kids.
Serve what you serve.
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