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If I remember correctly you stated that those of us who prefer animals over people lack social skills.
Now you believe we are uncomfortable because of your opinion that people need and deserve our compassion.
Your opinion is fine with me .... we have different opinions.... it doesn't mean you lack anything or I lack anything ... it means we see things differently.
I like dogs better than the vast majority of people.... no more , no less.
You seem to think the two are incompatible. Social awareness is key to empathy.
I don't care for animal people for this reason. I find it odd that a human would allow their own child to be homeless on the street but would put a second mortgage on their home to get cancer surgery for their 12 year old dog.
I believe it all comes down to control. Humans can control animals but they cannot control other people. Having that control pleases people.
If I remember correctly you stated that those of us who prefer animals over people lack social skills.
Now you believe we are uncomfortable because of your opinion that people need and deserve our compassion.
Your opinion is fine with me .... we have different opinions.... it doesn't mean you lack anything or I lack anything ... it means we see things differently.
I like dogs better than the vast majority of people.... no more , no less.
You seem to think the two are incompatible. Social awareness is key to empathy.
You seem to be up on some high self righteous horse oh... wait a minute a horse is an animal...so maybe a pedestal or soap box would be more appropriate. Are you aware you are contradicting yourself? Just the way you come across on this subject makes me believe you are the one lacking in social skills.
What you think and believe doesn't make your right and others wrong.
My own mother was extremely abusive...and I don't dislike her, but I do dislike your judgmental attitude.
I'm going to tell you something, my maternal mother, was so bad...I had a counselor tell my husband this, "Whew, I've know people who have gone thru a whole lot less than your wife, and ended up in mental institutions, she is one strong woman!"
I had a doctor call me, from the hospital my step dad was in, and demand I come to the hospital immediately...and while we were waiting in the room for the doctor, he storms in thru the door, rip roaring mad, didn't even calm down during the hour it took us to get there and yell at me, "you mother is F---ing NUTS and should be institutionalized!!!" and she was.
My 3rd, step father, was an honorable good man who was dying of cancer....she was so cruel to him while she was in the hospital...I went into his room and the nurses station was across from his room. I asked him if I had breast cancer, and had to have my breasts removed, would he love me any less. He answered crying, "no", and I said, than why would you think we would love you any less, b/c you have colon cancer and your going to have to have a bag? Your coming to live with us. He started to cry....and I hugged him hard, and said, We love you dad, we love you...over and over again. When I walked out of that room, the nurses started to clap, "That's how ugly my mother was to him".
I could tell you stories about her that would make the hair stand up on your arms, how utterly jealous and narcissistic she was, with no care or empathy for anyone else but herself.
I don't ever remember her holding me or kissing me...nor saying, "well, you did good". No matter what I did, she tore it down, told me constantly I was no good, and it was my fault her life was so horrible.
I had to go to work at 13 years old and hand over every cent to her, and when I came of age, had to obtain a waitress job where I did the same. She said, I was going to graduate, and get a good paying job and continue to hand over every cent to her, to pay her back for what she did for me. Use me for child labor.
I can still hear my ears ringing from the slaps she pounded across my ears for nothing. She lied all the time, made up these horrendous stories...was a drama queen, and hated people who had money. She talked about everyone, and made up lies about them or embellished the stories to fit her needs. She used people sorrow to gain attention for herself, and always, always, her problem was worse than anyone else's problem on God's green earth. She made me go to school when I was sick, telling me I was faking it.
I wasn't there with her the last say 7 years of her life...nor when she passed.
I don't hate her, she had a horrible childhood, and was mentally ill b/c of it....however, God does not expect any of his children to be abused like that...and sometimes, it's healthier for a person to break off ties to stay healthy themselves.
I am not angry at her...but am very frustrated with you, for making such a judgement on others just b/c you think you did the right thing.
You have no idea what others have gone thru...with their parents....and yes, your situation may have been bad, not saying mine was worse, I don't know that, but remember this...each and every individual is different, we can't all take the same level of abuse...you can't measure abuse and say mine was worse....b/c another person in your shoes might have lost it.
What you did was very compassionate, kind & honorable...but I and others here have done, what they we've had to do. Not everyone owns the same level of tollerance. Walk a mile in my shoes.
So, please, don't make the mistake of judging others, b/c karma can leave a very nasty taste in your mouth.
and I'm also going to add, that over the past 20 years, I've been working very hard, at cutting toxic people out of my life, who were like my mother, including other family members....beings it seemed I gravitated towards others like her.
Remember, when someone puts you down long enough, you start to believe it....and you tend to gravitate towards people who would do the same.
Unfortunately, I know all too well about abuse. Your mom doesn't sound too much different then my dad. Except, I always thought my dad was a mean drunk but he eventually gave up drinking and then he was just plain old mean. All the post that I had read up until this morning was about people having empathy for animals and pets of which they expressed not having any for people; except children and the elderly. The one post that I mentioned was the saddest was of a woman who said she couldn't cry when her mother died. She didn't love her but she cried for her dog. I still think that is the saddest post I read. I can't imagine someone dying and not feeling anything. For the record, I certainly don't agree that it's ok to show empathy for animals and only a certain group of people can have my empathy or compassion. I will never believe that and it's not how I think.
I didn't mention holding my dad's hand while he died to put me on some pedestal. I mentioned it so that people can realize that people with all sorts of issues and flaws are still human beings. My father was not born a monster, he was made one. Years of abuse and neglect at the hands of his own mother. I was grateful for all the aunts and uncles who disclosed the secrets of his childhood when he dying. It gave me a clear understanding why he was the person he was. I spent my childhood hating that man. Growing up, I actually believed he was the Devil and I'm not exaggerating when I say that. It wasn't till I was an adult that I was actually able to let go of the hate because it took so much more energy to hate him then to forgive him and try to love him and loving him was not easy.
So I apologize to you because I've offended you and I hope that disclosing your past did not bring you any pain. I would NEVER intentionally want to do that to you or anyone else. It's not the person I am or the person I would ever want to be. I too believe in cutting toxic people from my life and I also try to have an understanding why people are the way the are. I've always had this saying for the people in my life. If you're not lifting me up, then you're just bringing me down! I've worked for a human rights organization for 3 years. I currently work for the public school district. I can never put animals over humans and I am an animal lover. I've had them all! Mice, Iguana's, dogs and turtles. My family calls me Dr. Doolittle. But as for human life, I will always have more compassion and empathy for humans.
Again, I'm sorry that I offended you and that your childhood was one filled with pain. I hope and pray you have found peace.
I love animals. I would prefer the company of animals over people. Particularly dogs. I had a friend over today and a story came on the television about a dog that was abused. I burst into tears and I get super emotional whenever I read something about an animal that was hurt or abused.
I’ve had emotional moments watching the news and hearing sad stories of people/children dying. But nothing grabs at my heartstrings like the story of an animal or dog. I lost my dog of 11 years two years ago - I don’t think I’ve ever gotten over it.
I never really thought about it being an issue until she said that to me.
Not always. More often than not, an abused dog still loves people. As someone who is active in dog rescue, I see it all the time.
That's the owners fault for letting the dog poop on the neighbor's lawn. I'm pretty sure the dog doesn't understand property lines and ownership rights.
True. Dog owners often reflect a canine level of intelligence.
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