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Give your niece the money for the abortion and then if she decides to go through with it she can pay for it. If not, she can use the money to buy stuff for the baby.
The OP has decided she is the decision maker. That her sister has abdicated responsibility because of "tough love."
Yet the OP cares what her sister thinks. What BF's parents think. What we think.
I call a flaw in the reasoning here.
Again, as many have said, this is not your business, OP. Your niece confides in you. That is great. You can listen, offer a shoulder to cry on, etc. But that is where your responsibility ends.
You are making this about YOU and YOUR ROLE in a life changing decision that does not affect your body.
Again, as kindly but firmly as I can state this, BUTT OUT.
Why are YOU so against this girl, who finds herself in a very difficult spot? Forcing her to have a baby...?
Those who think your way are bereft of empathy and understanding.
Really, recognizing the right of a baby to live isn’t inherently being against the mother. That’s idiotic. If the girls decides she wants an abortion that’s her business, but if she has another option that doesn’t involve her baby being killed that’s fantastic and one she should consider, too.
Abortion is barbaric and awful; and I say that as a woman who has many children and has had a variety of birth outcomes. Life is always preferable to death if there is an option for it, and niece shouldn’t feel pressured to end the life of her child just because her mother and father want her to. She is an adult in a consensual relationship and they really should be the two people figuring this out.
If niece wants the abortion then yeah, OP, pay for it if you want to be part of that. But the choice should be one that is logical and emotional and she can live with, not one she is pressured into.
I would not get involved in this - PERIOD. That said, HER body, HER choice!
But IS it her choice? It sounds like her mothers choice to me. They don't want the baby, they don't want to support the baby.
Also the father here has rights too.
This is not about me, this about how to help my niece. She is in a tough situation because she wants to get an abortion since she knows she is not ready to be mother especially without my sisters help. However, she also doesn't want to go behind her bfs back and get an abortion. This is a sticky situation she is stuck in.
The bfs family has called me and sent me long Facebook messages begging me to not to pay for the abortion. It's my money so I am going to ignore them, but they are nice people and I have been cordial with them. The bfs parents are not his biological parents but adopted, they adopted and raised many children. They are a very nice couple that I think would raise the child wonderfully but they clash a lot with my sister.
I agreed to pay for the abortion before even knowing about the drama with the bfs parents. I knew about the drama about between my niece and sister, and my niece's bf was initially for the abortion before his parents convinced him otherwise. My sister doesn't care that I am paying. I have helped raise my niece so just leaving her to sort this issue out herself seems cruel.
This is not about me, this about how to help my niece. She is in a tough situation because she wants to get an abortion since she knows she is not ready to be mother especially without my sisters help. However, she also doesn't want to go behind her bfs back and get an abortion. This is a sticky situation she is stuck in.
The bfs family has called me and sent me long Facebook messages begging me to not to pay for the abortion. It's my money so I am going to ignore them, but they are nice people and I have been cordial with them. The bfs parents are not his biological parents but adopted, they adopted and raised many children. They area very nice couple that I think would raise the child wonderfully but they clash a lot with my sister.
I agreed to pay for the abortion before even knowing about the drama with the bfs parents. I knew about the drama about between my niece and sister, and my niece's bf was initially for the abortion before his parents convinced him otherwise. My sister doesn't care that I am paying. I have helped raise my niece so just leaving her to sort this issue out herself seems cruel.
So what happens if your niece ends up regretting the decision and blames you for making it happen?
And why on earth do the boyfriend's family know who is footing the bill for the abortion? Did you blast it on FB?! Most people don't want anyone to know they are going through something like this much less having the intricacies of the finances of the procedure discussed with others.
OP, you are determined to jump into this pot and stir it up. So good luck to you. And better luck to your poor niece who seems like she could use some objectively good advice from someone who is not trying to insert themselves into drama, yell at her for being pregnant, or preach to her about keeping a baby she doesn't want.
I never have BUT if your niece wants to keep the baby and the father of the baby wants the baby along with his parents and they claim that they'll help..and the father of the baby has a fulltime job...then that's what she should do.It's not the mother's decision but the 2 parents of that unborn child.Also the niece should then move in with the father's baby's family since her mother is all worried about her having to take care of her daughter while pregnant.Then the niece needs to move in with the baby's father's parents then until the father of the baby gets their own place.
If the niece wants an abortion she should get it. She should never be pressured into having a child if she’s not ready no matter how many people say they will help. Most people flake out including boy friends this is her choice. All else should stay out of it. Her aunt her mom and her bf as well as his family should support her choice even if it isn’t theirs
So what happens if your niece ends up regretting the decision and blames you for making it happen?
And why on earth do the boyfriend's family know who is footing the bill for the abortion? Did you blast it on FB?! Most people don't want anyone to know they are going through something like this much less having the intricacies of the finances of the procedure discussed with others.
OP, you are determined to jump into this pot and stir it up. So good luck to you. And better luck to your poor niece who seems like she could use some objectively good advice from someone who is not trying to insert themselves into drama, yell at her for being pregnant, or preach to her about keeping a baby she doesn't want.
I will support whatever decision my niece makes. I am the only one who has offered to pay, my sister won't, her bf won't, and she doesn't have the money. She wants an abortion maybe she will change her mind I don't know. I don't get any satisfaction out of this drama, I have two kids and husband to also worry about. I just want to help my niece.
I posted in a prior post that my niece told her boyfriend who I guess told his parents. They were able to look me up on Facebook.
Honestly, I'd be wary of any guy who swears up and down they'll be around without the benefit of marriage. I don't know how old your niece and her boyfriend are or how long they've been together, but very young guys who aren't prepared for fatherhood usually don't stick around once the new-baby novelty wears off. Ditto for his parents. I'd personally stay out of it, but if your niece has no desire to be a single mother, then abortion is probably her best option.
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