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I can't say I have any interest in meeting the families of my friends generally, and would never invite myself. However, when one of my siblings come to town I usually set up a dinner or a night out and I invite other people they know in a kind of "more the merrier" approach. They all know each other though.
Why are you so anxious to meet the parents of your friends? Wouldn't it be more fun to meet people your own age?
[quote=Cantabridgienne;51663705][quote=fleetiebelle;51663118]The only friends I have whose families I've met are the handful of friends I've known since childhood, college roommates, etc. Generally, any friends you make as an adult are independently your friends--they don't come as a package deal with parents and siblings. You might meet their family at a wedding or something, but it's not something that you ask about.
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Agreed, that is the point I was trying to make, that you can create your own family as an adult, you don't need to further glom onto their own families.
So the message is, "If you don't have a family, get married, have kids, problem solved," right?
So the message is, "If you don't have a family, get married, have kids, problem solved," right?
No, the answer is to make friends of your own instead of poaching from other's people's families.
Do you think somehow someone's family member is going to want to hang around with you more than someone you met independently? I simply don't understand your fervent desire to penetrate someone else's family fold. Can you explain?
It sounds like you may just want the feeling of being welcomed into someone's home. I don't know your living situation but you might want to look on Craigslist for a house-share type of deal. You you may wind up with a family, or a housemate situation that feels like family.
No, the answer is to make friends of your own instead of poaching from other's people's families.
Do you think somehow someone's family member is going to want to hang around with you more than someone you met independently? I simply don't understand your fervent desire to penetrate someone else's family fold. Can you explain?
Without an extended family nearby, people lose a large part of their sense of belonging. People with a large extended family all say that that has been the most important part of their identity and are very proud of it.
Is this just American culture where you shouldn't ask to see your friend's family? Or is it across all cultures? Is this true for African culture, Hispanic culture, Italian culture, Jewish culture, Arab culture, Indian culture, Chinese culture, etc? Or, are there some cultures where it is perfectly normal to ask to meet a friend's family?
Because my parents and my brother would gladly welcome any of my friends who asked to meet my family, no questions asked. And for the record, we all are conservative, evangelical Christians, pro-life, Trump voters. We are as American as you get, and we still have no problem having my friends come over if they ask, even if he is (gasp) a Sanders supporter.
Without an extended family nearby, people lose a large part of their sense of belonging. People with a large extended family all say that that has been the most important part of their identity and are very proud of it.
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Which people say this? You've started several threads with a similar theme, and yet you are the only one insisting that family and friends should be the same people. Many people on this board have told you that you can create your own friend group and feel like you belong without family nearby. If you really feel like you can't be happy without your family, then you'll need to make plans to move back near them.
You haven't answered my original question of, what campus resources and groups are you taking advantage of to expand your social circle?
This kinda thing usually happens organically for me. Like I want to hang out with my friend one weekend but they're busy going to a cookout at their parents house so they extend an offer for me to come along.
I'm of the age where a lot of my friends are getting married and/or starting families of their own so I have met most of my friends' family members at wedding and baby-related events.
Oddly... While as an adult, I see around me, and agree, that people getting close to the families of others isn't common, necessarily, I do know some exceptions.
My family of origin, my father grew up going to school with a few kids from a certain prominent and wealthy family from his part of Stafford, Virginia. Which at the time, was sort of rural. The parents met the parents, the kids hung out with the kids, everybody knew everybody. When my Dad's generation grew up and had kids that were growing, they would often arrange multi-family vacations together, sharing a large beach house in Hatteras, NC. Two big families, would sort of mingle together like that. To the best of my knowledge, no one from my Dad's family, ever had a romantic relationship with anyone from this other family. They were just big families from the same area who got to know each other.
My Mom continued a friendship with a high school friend also, and when I was a kid, we were close to this friend's family, though it wasn't as big a family. I'm still friends with some of them on social media.
These folks were very much seen like...extended family of our own. Like cousins, aunts, uncles. It was a similar relationship.
My ex has friends whose immediate families we spent time with. I've met some of their parents, all of their kids, and so on. We'd get together for cookouts, we did Thanksgiving at the house of one such friend and his family, and we were all on a pool league together.
But it was never something I pushed for, though I welcomed it as it happened. I think you have to form bonds with certain people and then either invite them and their connections into your life, or let them invite you into theirs. You cannot invite yourself into their space.
But it was never something I pushed for, though I welcomed it as it happened. I think you have to form bonds with certain people and then either invite them and their connections into your life, or let them invite you into theirs. You cannot invite yourself into their space.
That's the thing. Like I said, I have met the family of some of my friends, but I've never said anything like, "Please, I would like to meet your brother's family." It's more like a friend said, "hey, my brother's having a cookout this weekend, you're welcome to come."
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