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I'm usually an open book, but there are some things in my life I wanna keep private. Me and my roommate have a pretty good relationship, but sometimes I just don't feel like saying where I'm going or what I did. Not doing anything bad Lol just don't feel like being judged or wanna keep some things to myself.
How do I keep it to myself without being rude about it? I don't wanna lie either.
Of course people are going ask where you are going when you abruptly leave. That's human nature. I am not sure why you feel judged by a simple question.
Other than than just walking out without conversation, I'm not sure how you can achieve your goal without telling him it's none of his business, which will seem very suspicious.
Do you ever wonder how other people handle this "problem"?
Many people love talking about themselves, so they assume others want to do the same. You can use this to your advantage to deflect questions you don't want to answer. Give your roommate an opportunity to talk about himself/herself to deflect interest in you.
Roommate: "Where are you going?"
You: "Oh, I have to go out for a little while. Say, what was that perfume you were wearing/music you were listening to/food you were cooking/shirt (or whatever) you were wearing/(insert something else appropriate) yesterday? It really smelled good/sounded interesting/looked good on you/(whatever)."
Roommate: "(Answers question)"
You (you should be nearly out the open door by now): "OK, thanks. I'll have to remember that. See you later!" And you are gone.
Work up a collection of deflecting questions that work for the relationship and have them ready. If you are questioned when you get back, talk about the traffic you experienced while out, talk about the weather you encountered, talk about the people you saw on the street, talk about something interesting you saw or heard while you were out. By the time you're finished, your roommate will probably have forgotten about wondering where you went. Paying attention to the little things you see every day can pay off in having some small, unimportant thing to share in a conversation without sharing too much about yourself. Sometimes the small, unimportant topic can lead to an interesting conversation that has nothing to do with your activities, so the problem kind of takes care of itself at that point.
Once you get some practice with this, you can maintain cordial relationships while keeping as much of your business to yourself as you want.
I'm assuming your roommate is...a roommate, as opposed to a love interest/boyfriend/girlfriend? How about just saying "I'm going out for awhile, not sure when I'll be back." And that's it?
And if your roommate is asking where you went, are they being REALLY nosey, or is it just friendly interest in what you were doing? If it's just friendly interest, and assuming you're not doing anything you feel like you'll get judged for, what's the harm of a short but truthful answer?
Roommate: Hey, wassup?
YOU: I went to the mall for a little while
Roommate: See anything interesting?
YOU: Nah, not really.
Now...if roommate is indeed your SO...than keeping secrets from him/her is not cool, and it's a whole other ball of wax
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"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebody111111
I'm usually an open book, but there are some things in my life I wanna keep private. Me and my roommate have a pretty good relationship, but sometimes I just don't feel like saying where I'm going or what I did. Not doing anything bad Lol just don't feel like being judged or wanna keep some things to myself.
How do I keep it to myself without being rude about it? I don't wanna lie either.
How often is this? If this is a rare thing, it would be easy to pass off as running errands or whatever.
If this thing you're worried about being judged for happens a couple times a week, I think you'll either have to tell the truth and face being judged, or lie.
I'm usually an open book, but there are some things in my life I wanna keep private. Me and my roommate have a pretty good relationship, but sometimes I just don't feel like saying where I'm going or what I did. Not doing anything bad Lol just don't feel like being judged or wanna keep some things to myself.
How do I keep it to myself without being rude about it? I don't wanna lie either.
My grandad always used to say when asked where he’s going “I’m going to see a man about a dog” .
Is this a roommate or a significant other? If it’s just a roommate then a simple “see you later, out for a bit” but if it’s a partner then it’s polite to let them know where you’re off too so they can plan their time too. Not sure why you are feeling judged unless you have something to feel guilty about.
I used to just say "rambling" when asked where I was off to. When my roommate moved in she already knew one of my hobbies in my hometown was just driving aimlessly around the Jersey Pines with the radio on and seeing where I ended up. We're very close even now that she's moved out (had dinner last night, as a matter of fact), but she just accepted when I announced I was going out rambling, I had no destination in mind.
"I am heading to the dry cleaner to get my shirt cleaned. You know - that blue one that I wear all the time. I guess because I have been wearing it so much it has gotten a bit dirty so I better get it cleaned. Then I have to cash a check at the bank. I think on the way, I will stop at the pet store to get some wet food and some cat litter. I might drop some stuff off at GoodWill because I think that is on the route I am taking. Oh rats. I still need to clean out the coat closet because I have a lot of coats in there that I want to donate. I wonder if I will have time to do that before I leave?.........." (Continue on for another 5 minutes....)
Do this once and I guarantee you the nosiness will stop.
usually when I leave I just tell my roommate Im going out and i will be back later, kinda just depends on what youre comfortable with. If you dont want to disclose details then that might be a good option for you however you could just say something as simple as Im running out to the store or Im going to hangout with a friend.
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