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Old 10-09-2019, 09:44 AM
 
12,769 posts, read 18,322,970 times
Reputation: 8768

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Book Lover 21 View Post
I have a friend that I absolutely adore. We have known each other for 30 years.


She and her husband both have college degrees. They have four kids and she is a SAHM. He has a job that doesn't pay very well, but it's very fulfilling and helps the community.


Her dad helps them out a lot, flying them out for visits, buying them a car, etc.


I have now received the third GoFundMe for something to do with their kids. It is a fundraiser so one of their kids can go on a school trip.


I feel bad thinking this way, but I have always had a full time job and paid for this kind of thing with my own money for my kids. I kind of feel resentful that she feels like it's okay to stay home and basically beg friends and family for anything she wants.


I know I shouldn't be petty like this and I should just donate as it's for her kids and they didn't ask for this situation.


Am I wrong for this feeling of resentment?
GoFundMe's are so tacky. The only time I will ever donate is if someone has cancer, or lost a home in a hurricane/fire etc. Other than that, no. People need to work and buy things they want/need with their own $$ and not expect other adults to do it for them.


And yes, growing up my parents always paid for my class trips. Granted we were pretty well-off & it was the 80's (so GoFundMe did not exist, lol) but, still.


This responsibility falls on the parents. It sucks but sometimes you have to tell your kid no if you can't afford things. That's life.
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Old 10-09-2019, 09:52 AM
 
12,769 posts, read 18,322,970 times
Reputation: 8768
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harpaint View Post
If she is a SAHM with four LITTLE kids at home, I would donate something, especially if they are helping the community. But if the kids are older and childcare costs wouldn't be an issue, I would expect her to work for their extras. 2 working adults is now the norm, especially in lower income households.
It seems like the husband's job helps the community … which is great, but he is being PAID for that. He isn't doing it voluntarily … being paid to do something isn't 'giving back'.
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Old 10-09-2019, 09:56 AM
 
12,769 posts, read 18,322,970 times
Reputation: 8768
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
When people use social media and post pictures of many trips, people will think (right or wrong) that they do have enough money for their medical bills. So naturally, they will wonder why the person is asking for help.


The Go Fund Me list shows the names of people who donate, so they'll know who donates and who doesn't. I know someone who goes over her friend's GFM lists and makes comments about who gave and who didn't. I think it's wrong for her to focus on that, but she does.
I thought you could donate anonymously?
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Old 10-09-2019, 10:04 AM
 
9,446 posts, read 6,549,098 times
Reputation: 18898
I wouldn't donate for this. It will just encourage her to do it again. Definitely don't be guilted into it. SHE is the one who should feel guilt.
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Old 10-09-2019, 12:18 PM
 
Location: State of Denial
2,484 posts, read 1,857,608 times
Reputation: 13500
I've been hit up three times in the last couple of years for GoFundMe's.


One was so someone could go to a foreign country and "read Bible stories to children and tell them about America". Of course, it was a far-off, exotic location. Uh, no.


One was for to "travel around the world". Uh, no.


One was to help with wedding expenses. Uh, HELL to the no.
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Old 10-09-2019, 01:09 PM
 
Location: St Louis MO area
129 posts, read 81,908 times
Reputation: 991
A co-worker in my small company has a Go-Fund-Me because her house caught on fire. She has insurance so it is being repaired and her family is staying in a hotel for the time being, but she asked for donations to the Fund or for gift cards to buy clothes and restaurant meals. I had not got around to donating yet, and overheard her talking to another co-worker about weight loss. Seems the girl has used the cash and the Go-Fund-Me money to buy a $1400.00 weight loss program - pills, powders, and an inspirational guidebook. I'm so angry, and so very glad that I did not donate money or gift cards to her. It seems that for every legitimate Go-Fund-Me emergency, there are three or four people abusing it.
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Old 10-09-2019, 02:28 PM
 
127 posts, read 61,044 times
Reputation: 349
Quote:
Originally Posted by LynnBBQ View Post
A co-worker in my small company has a Go-Fund-Me because her house caught on fire. She has insurance so it is being repaired and her family is staying in a hotel for the time being, but she asked for donations to the Fund or for gift cards to buy clothes and restaurant meals. I had not got around to donating yet, and overheard her talking to another co-worker about weight loss. Seems the girl has used the cash and the Go-Fund-Me money to buy a $1400.00 weight loss program - pills, powders, and an inspirational guidebook. I'm so angry, and so very glad that I did not donate money or gift cards to her. It seems that for every legitimate Go-Fund-Me emergency, there are three or four people abusing it.
Wow!
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Old 10-09-2019, 04:15 PM
 
9,446 posts, read 6,549,098 times
Reputation: 18898
Quote:
Originally Posted by LynnBBQ View Post
A co-worker in my small company has a Go-Fund-Me because her house caught on fire. She has insurance so it is being repaired and her family is staying in a hotel for the time being, but she asked for donations to the Fund or for gift cards to buy clothes and restaurant meals. I had not got around to donating yet, and overheard her talking to another co-worker about weight loss. Seems the girl has used the cash and the Go-Fund-Me money to buy a $1400.00 weight loss program - pills, powders, and an inspirational guidebook. I'm so angry, and so very glad that I did not donate money or gift cards to her. It seems that for every legitimate Go-Fund-Me emergency, there are three or four people abusing it.

disgusting
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Old 10-13-2019, 09:39 AM
 
Location: 500 miles from home
33,942 posts, read 22,461,411 times
Reputation: 25806
I generally don't contribute for school trips; church mission trips; band trips, etc. I had to pay for all that stuff for my own kid. IF there is a fire, flooding, etc - and it impacts my friends; I have donated.

But it's starting to feel like a new Gofundme crops up every day.
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Old 10-13-2019, 10:38 PM
 
Location: The Greater Houston Metro Area
9,053 posts, read 17,158,249 times
Reputation: 15226
You are not obligated to fund their choice of lifestyle that they have picked - both degreed but one choosing to be a stay at home parent and the other a low-paying but rewarding job, That was their choice.
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