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I figure people can set up GoFundMe campaigns for anything they want. Doesn't mean I have to approve of them, or participate in them.
I once saw a campaign for some D list celebrity, who set a GoFundMe campaign for herself, so she could buy herself some new furntiture for her new apartment. I personally thought it was ridiculous. I read a bunch of the comments from the donators. One of the commenters donated 10 bucks just so he could tell her how awful he thought she was, asking for money for such a thing. LOL And I thought "Like she cares what you think of her, and you're helping her." LOL
Anyway, just because people ask, doesn't mean I have to donate. I can pick and choose.
You said this family does a lot to enrich their community. If that is the case, it's hard for me to think of them as leeches. Sounds like they give back a lot.
I have contributed to GFM accounts for friends to help with medical expenses, funeral expenses, and housing for someone after Hurricane Harvey destroyed their home. I only donate to people I know and only for serious issues.
I would not donate for a school trip. I'd pay the kid to do something like come over and work in the yard and I might pay a little more than it's worth. But I would not do a flat-out donation.
Exactly! I've made very generous payments for kids trying to earn money for something because I might support the cause (like a service learning trip, not just about getting to go on a vacation) and I think it's great when kids put some skin in the game and work to earn the contribution.
But not just holding out their hand expecting money.
Just because it's GoFundMe, a new, trendy way to raise funds, and just because it's online, doesn't make this request any different from a situation in which your neighbor knocked on your door and asked you for money to fund an outing for one of her children.
It's just another request for a handout. Treat it as you would if she asked you personally for the money over coffee one morning. (But of course she'd never do that; it's far more anonymous and impersonal to put a request out there on the internet)
I have received requests from preteens and teens going on church-related mission trips to foreign countries, but the request is worded so that the donation is like a donation to their cause of helping others in that mission field.
In this case, I still would probably donate. I would look at it like the mission thing: It's a civic mission to learn more about the world through traveling with classmates. It's probably going to be educational, so it's not like you're donating to a spring break drunkfest.
If I know and "absolutely adore" someone, I try really hard not to judge THEIR life by MY standards but to trust their judgment on something like this.
I have a friend that I absolutely adore. We have known each other for 30 years.
She and her husband both have college degrees. They have four kids and she is a SAHM. He has a job that doesn't pay very well, but it's very fulfilling and helps the community.
Her dad helps them out a lot, flying them out for visits, buying them a car, etc.
I have now received the third GoFundMe for something to do with their kids. It is a fundraiser so one of their kids can go on a school trip.
I feel bad thinking this way, but I have always had a full time job and paid for this kind of thing with my own money for my kids. I kind of feel resentful that she feels like it's okay to stay home and basically beg friends and family for anything she wants.
I know I shouldn't be petty like this and I should just donate as it's for her kids and they didn't ask for this situation.
Am I wrong for this feeling of resentment?
Nope.
I know a couple that absolutely went through the wringer. He had severe health problems (And continues to do so). She has lupus. They ran through their health coverage and their considerable savings. They sold their house and moved into an apartment, only to burn through their equity. Finally, because the hospital bills were driving them into bankruptcy, they finally resorted to Go Fund Me. But it was absolutely wrenching for them to do it. I know it was absolutely their last resort.
For them? You bet I would pony up to help. And we did.
But if it's to send a kid to DisneyWorld? Ask the kid to get a job. My son's band was going to Hawaii. It was going to cost $3,000. I told him that we would pay half, but he had to raise the other half over the course of the next twelve months. So he got out there and mowed lawns, then got a job at the grocery store. He had managed to raise the money in less than six months. So your friend can either do that or hit up the grandparents. There are lots of people with legitimate needs who aren't resorting to begging.
I have received requests from preteens and teens going on church-related mission trips to foreign countries, but the request is worded so that the donation is like a donation to their cause of helping others in that mission field.
In this case, I still would probably donate. I would look at it like the mission thing: It's a civic mission to learn more about the world through traveling with classmates. It's probably going to be educational, so it's not like you're donating to a spring break drunkfest.
If I know and "absolutely adore" someone, I try really hard not to judge THEIR life by MY standards but to trust their judgment on something like this.
It IS an educational trip. I guess that gives me pause too. But it happens to be the exact same trip that I paid for my kids with my own money.
I really do love her, but she has always had a sense of entitlement. Like when her dad takes her on trips or buys her a car, it's like she feels like he owes it to her to do these things.
I did donate generously to the last two, but it feels like there will be no end to it. This is just for her eldest child. I guess I will be expected to do the same for the other three?
Is she local? I would tell her that you are happy to support her child working to earn the money for the trip and give a couple of suggestions that they can do that you will pay them for, like weeding your yard or scrubbing off your back deck.
It IS an educational trip. I guess that gives me pause too. But it happens to be the exact same trip that I paid for my kids with my own money.
I really do love her, but she has always had a sense of entitlement. Like when her dad takes her on trips or buys her a car, it's like she feels like he owes it to her to do these things.
I did donate generously to the last two, but it feels like there will be no end to it. This is just for her eldest child. I guess I will be expected to do the same for the other three?
Well, There will be an end to it. She has 4 kids. Lol
And it really doesn't matter how you paid for YOUR kids' trips.
I really don't think you should apply all that stuff about her being entitled etc. Hers was a request, not a demand. So just decide if you want to donate and then do or don't. Think of it as a gift. Don't tie strings to it.
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