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Old 05-12-2018, 03:09 PM
 
19,067 posts, read 25,221,023 times
Reputation: 25387

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Many years ago, I knew a guy who complained non-stop about... everything... and it became truly exhausting to have to listen to a daily litany of his problems with... the world. Finally, I told him, "Chuck, here is the game plan. Nobody experiences only negative things every day of his life, so for every complaint that you want to tell me about, you have to tell me about one enjoyable or positive thing that you experienced that day". I sometimes had to interrupt him in order to remind him about my "one positive for every negative" rule, but my requirement did cut down--drastically--on his daily complaint calls.

However, it didn't stop him from occasionally using my answering machine to give me a recitation of his latest travails, because I wasn't able to interrupt him during those recitations. One night he used-up the entire tape on my answering machine (do you remember those contraptions?) with his latest list of complaints.
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Old 05-13-2018, 08:16 AM
 
10,500 posts, read 6,983,845 times
Reputation: 32334
Quote:
Originally Posted by eliza61nyc View Post
Just had a very normal conversation with a coworker/friend who is a constant complainer.

If the sun comes out, it's too hot, If the sun doesn't come out it's not hot enough. work (today is "take your kids to work day" so "why are there so many kids here and not in school") kids, money.
Our work place is a "campus" so we have a lot of lawns, trees etc and she was complaining that one of the Canadian geese is limping. Seriously!!

LOL, now I am laughing because I realize this is a complaint about a complainer but how do you handle someone like that?

Another friend who is on facebook says she's like that on facebook.
Yes. They are energy vampires. I have enough to say grace over without some nitwit destroying all the happiness in the room. I avoid them.
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Old 05-13-2018, 09:59 AM
 
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
9,352 posts, read 19,987,957 times
Reputation: 11621
Dealing with one right now.....

an elderly friend of mine has been dealing with knee replacements and infections since last August..... NOTHING is ever good enough or right.... She was moved to a rehab center from the hospital late last week and will likely be there for at least 4 more weeks.... the nurses and aides there do nothing but make her wait... for her medications, for this, for that, for EVERYTHING..... At the last one she was in last November, it was the food she focused on.... It was AWFUL and all but inedible.....

I am again keeping her little dog for her while she goes through this (GOD, I HOPE), last replacement and rehab.... She calls me every single day, sometimes multiple times per day, just to whine and complain about the latest perceived slight......

she has NO IDEA how understaffed these places are and how hard the staff that they DO have work.... None of them has the time to be at her beck and call 24/7..... I have tried gently explaining this to her, but she is convinced they sit around twiddling their thumbs and deliberately ignoring her.....

I GET that she is likely bored and has all day and all night to focus on herself, but sweet baby jeebus.....

She doesn't want to read books, she doesn't want her computer, she just watches TV, which is also lacking because it doesn't have the international channels she has in her package at home.....

I am taking her dog up to see her in about an hour..... wish me luck!!

WHEW.....

and actually, I used to be a bit of a complainer myself until it was pointed out to me and ever since, I have made an effort to not do that......
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Old 05-13-2018, 10:02 AM
 
6,283 posts, read 4,166,669 times
Reputation: 24771
Quote:
Originally Posted by latetotheparty View Post
Dealing with one right now.....

an elderly friend of mine has been dealing with knee replacements and infections since last August..... NOTHING is ever good enough or right.... She was moved to a rehab center from the hospital late last week and will likely be there for at least 4 more weeks.... the nurses and aides there do nothing but make her wait... for her medications, for this, for that, for EVERYTHING..... At the last one she was in last November, it was the food she focused on.... It was AWFUL and all but inedible.....

I am again keeping her little dog for her while she goes through this (GOD, I HOPE), last replacement and rehab.... She calls me every single day, sometimes multiple times per day, just to whine and complain about the latest perceived slight......

she has NO IDEA how understaffed these places are and how hard the staff that they DO have work.... None of them has the time to be at her beck and call 24/7..... I have tried gently explaining this to her, but she is convinced they sit around twiddling their thumbs and deliberately ignoring her.....

I GET that she is likely bored and has all day and all night to focus on herself, but sweet baby jeebus.....

She doesn't want to read books, she doesn't want her computer, she just watches TV, which is also lacking because it doesn't have the international channels she has in her package at home.....

I am taking her dog up to see her in about an hour..... wish me luck!!

WHEW.....

and actually, I used to be a bit of a complainer myself until it was pointed out to me and ever since, I have made an effort to not do that......
Maybe you need to point out that being a negative whiny bags makes people want to avoid her like the plague and the staff are already stressed without putting up with her.
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Old 05-13-2018, 10:35 AM
 
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
9,352 posts, read 19,987,957 times
Reputation: 11621
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spuggy View Post
Maybe you need to point out that being a negative whiny bags makes people want to avoid her like the plague and the staff are already stressed without putting up with her.

I have been trying to think of a delicate way to do just that......

I point out to her that nurses and support staff have MANY patients and residents to care for, but she is of the opinion that there is plenty of man (or woman)power to go around......

My mother was in skilled nursing care for over 8 years and I was there ALL THE TIME.... I see what the staff does and has to put up with.....
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Old 05-13-2018, 07:23 PM
 
126 posts, read 136,567 times
Reputation: 227
i guess i complain a lot. It is not good, it's negativity. However, I honestly can't stand people who are positive all the time though. Like those sun shiny people who think everything is amazing. Everything ISN't amazing all the time...if you cant admit that then that means you cant be real and we cant be friends. Everything in moderation i guess.
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Old 05-13-2018, 11:31 PM
 
6,283 posts, read 4,166,669 times
Reputation: 24771
Quote:
Originally Posted by lologal321 View Post
i guess i complain a lot. It is not good, it's negativity. However, I honestly can't stand people who are positive all the time though. Like those sun shiny people who think everything is amazing. Everything ISN't amazing all the time...if you cant admit that then that means you cant be real and we cant be friends. Everything in moderation i guess.
Yes moderation
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Old 05-13-2018, 11:34 PM
 
6,283 posts, read 4,166,669 times
Reputation: 24771
Quote:
Originally Posted by latetotheparty View Post
I have been trying to think of a delicate way to do just that......

I point out to her that nurses and support staff have MANY patients and residents to care for, but she is of the opinion that there is plenty of man (or woman)power to go around......

My mother was in skilled nursing care for over 8 years and I was there ALL THE TIME.... I see what the staff does and has to put up with.....
Just say “you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar” and be honest and say you are concerned her complaining is putting people off.
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