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I'm sorry but... no, i disagree lol. I didn't take advantage of her. like not at all. She shoudn't have let me borrow the money if shes that weird about it. Or she could have let me know that she needed it back right away. As i have said, she made too big a deal about it. In my opinion. And we didnt have to go to the club. I told her i was sorry and that i would bring cash next time. But she was willing to pay because she realllyyy wanted to go.
Sorry and I can take criticism, I can but i'm not taking advantage of her. I'll give her gas money if we go out because i was wrong about that, but i'm not borrowing money from her again. It was no big deal waiting a day It wasn't weeks. And I was busy at work.
I don't avoid people but i don't have a lot of friends. i'm not shy, I just don't always have the chance to meet friends. And I do miss it because I get lonely. In life i haven't had a lot of friends but i still find it weird.
And I agree with you. You're not a bad person always taking advantage of others. I think you honestly would not be bothered if you loaned someone $10 and it took them a week to pay you back. This person was hounding you after 2 days. You were going to give her the money on the next shift you worked together but it was a busy one - if she was SO concerned why didn't she just ask you right then and you could have settled it with her? For whatever reason she didn't pursue it at that time. And if she had some app that she knew would make make easy to give her the money then why didn't she suggest it?
I just think this whole thing is overblown and there's no reason to pile on to upsadaisy about it. If people treated me in such a manner I'd not count them as friends.
Chloe works at McDonald's. She's not cheap, she is broke and living on a very strict budget. There is no line item in her budget labeled "give mone to friends". That $10 is most likely earmarked for some expense, so she needs it back, and it is very possible that she needs to pay whatever the $10 was budgeted for right now.
Yes and OP would be wise to adopt that practice. When I was her age, making ends meet waiting tables, I couldn't let stray 10's wander around. All my ones and fives and tens had to add up to rent.
I remember going out after work and having exactly $12 to spend, period, then time to go home. People were like 'how do you do that?' In my head I was like 'how do you stay and spend and then stress over your rent?'
Yes and OP would be wise to adopt that practice. When I was her age, making ends meet waiting tables, I couldn't let stray 10's wander around. All my ones and fives and tens had to add up to rent.
I remember going out after work and having exactly $12 to spend, period, then time to go home. People were like 'how do you do that?' In my head I was like 'how do you stay and spend and then stress over your rent?'
i do get stressed about rent. Thats why I havent spent much money lately i don't have much money at all, never said i did.
I honestly find it strange when people aren't willing to pay even a dollar extra on a bill. If I'm eating dinner at a restaurant with a friend and her portion of the bill is like $5 more, I don't mind just splitting the bill straight down the middle and paying a couple extra dollars. People who care that much about just a few bucks are generally either broke or stingy.
I once had a friend who fit this description, and rather than resenting her for it (as I was beginning to do), I just started picking up the check whenever we dined out together. She never tipped adequately on her half anyway, so paying the bill allowed me to avoid that awkwardness, as well. I liked her a lot, I enjoyed her company, and I didn't mind buying her a meal on occasion to eliminate the discomfort I felt when she started quibbling over the check.
I once had a friend who fit this description, and rather than resenting her for it (as I was beginning to do), I just started picking up the check whenever we dined out together. She never tipped adequately on her half anyway, so paying the bill allowed me to avoid that awkwardness, as well. I liked her a lot, I enjoyed her company, and I didn't mind buying her a meal on occasion to eliminate the discomfort I felt when she started quibbling over the check.
Well, that's quite nice of you. I've been out with people who didn't tip well on their half and I've always found that annoying...
I don't have to many friends. I had a group of friends but a few years after hs we drifted apart and now we don't talk anymore. I am mostly a loner. I don't want to be but I have a hard time making friends even though I'm a social person. So I'm a loner but not by choice. Plus I'm in a new city, though I have been here for a while I still havent met a lot of new friends though I am dating and meeting people that way.
I met some girls at work (who are my age) and some of them go out on certain nights to party and drink or to do whatever. I have become kind of close with one girl. I guess we can call her Chloe lol. Chloe is really awesome and I enjoy hanging out with her, but one thing I have noticed is that she's super weird about money.
One night we went to a club. We had never been to this club before and we didn't know it was $10 to get in. I had my debit card, but did not have $10 in cash because they werent taking cards. Chloe paid for me and said I could pay her back later. I said I was fine with that and said thank you.
Well the next day, she was already mentioning me paying her back over text. I said I would, no problem and that I would get cash and give it to her as soon as I could (i normally dont have cash just my debit card). On our very next shift I had the $10 and meant to give it to her, but things got busy at work and I honestly forgot. I got off work and went home. That night she texted me and said, "Are you still going to pay me back the ten?". I said yes and gave it to her the next day. This happened over only two days. I just thought it was really weird. From the way she talks she isn't broke so I don't get what the rush was.
She's also really into splitting stuff- which is fine, I don't mind splitting but she wants it down to the very last penny lol. She came to my place for movie night and picked up snacks. She asked me what I wanted. She brought me the receipt for my poptarts and lemonade and pointed out what i owed her. I was like, okay lol.
Is this behavior normal. I used to have a group of friends and we used to get each other snacks, or sometimes pay for each other but it wasnt a huge deal. We would buy each other things and not add it up or *make* each other pay each other back. It was more of a "hey, thanks, I'll get you next time!" type of thing. I've bought small stuff for friends and havent really put that much thought into it. i'm not a rich person but i don't think I would ever in a million years give someone a receipt for $3 worth of stuff i bought for them. maybe I'm just from a small town but that seemed tacky kind of.
When she invites me out she also wants $5 for gas. Well, okay. Its just $5 and I don't mind but I don't think I'd ever charge a friend for gas unless it was a crazy long trip out of state or something.
Is she a bit weird about money or do I just not hang out with enough people?
I have known more than a few women like this. Two of them whip out their calculators after dinner to make sure they aren't paying a penny more than they owe. They are certainly not poor. One of them I had to stop going out to restaurants with because she complained throughout the entire meal, even if she had chosen the place. It was no fun at all. Why is it only women who are like this? Men don't seem to be so tit for tat about every penny.
And I agree with you. You're not a bad person always taking advantage of others. I think you honestly would not be bothered if you loaned someone $10 and it took them a week to pay you back. This person was hounding you after 2 days. You were going to give her the money on the next shift you worked together but it was a busy one - if she was SO concerned why didn't she just ask you right then and you could have settled it with her? For whatever reason she didn't pursue it at that time. And if she had some app that she knew would make make easy to give her the money then why didn't she suggest it?
I just think this whole thing is overblown and there's no reason to pile on to upsadaisy about it.
I don't think people are meaning to pile on. OP is very young, she is working on learning about so many things, and she comes here for help.
People are just trying to explain that when you owe someone money, pay it back promptly and never make the other party have to ask for it. The other party is not 'harassy' to ask for it back.
I was brought up that no one should ever have to ask me, because I would have paid them when I said I would pay them, period.
I remember living at my Aunt's and I borrowed some money. I said I will pay this back on 'x' day (when I got paid).
On that day, I went straight to the bank to deposit my check and withdraw the amount of cash I owed her. She made a big deal out of how proud she was that I knew to not make her wait or wonder for even a moment about her money.
The point being, that it was important to her that I knew that for everyone in my upcoming life.
It's just good values, and again, OP comes here to ask for help with such matters. Money is a big deal and a touchy area in one way or another for everyone.
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If people treated me in such a manner I'd not count them as friends.
How is Chloe treating her poorly? I am also unused to someone presenting me with a receipt like that, but I have a friend who lives on minimum wage, so I get it. He budgets every dollar so he is not late on rent or other bills. I respect that. And OP actually needs to be doing the same thing (see her thread on budgeting issues, which she has asked for help with, so we're helping!).
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