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If someone lends you money for any reason, just as a rule of thumb no matter whether the person is worried about it or not, you need to pay them back immediately unless there is another arrangement that you came to together. Or, you at the very least make it very clear to them from the second that money hits your hand as to when and how you will pay them back. So, if it ever happens again, say, "Thank you, I will go to the bank at lunch tomorrow and bring the cash by your office around 1 o'clock. Does that work for you?"
If someone lends you money for any reason, just as a rule of thumb no matter whether the person is worried about it or not, you need to pay them back immediately unless there is another arrangement that you came to together. Or, you at the very least make it very clear to them from the second that money hits your hand as to when and how you will pay them back. So, if it ever happens again, say, "Thank you, I will go to the bank at lunch tomorrow and bring the cash by your office around 1 o'clock. Does that work for you?"
She forgot ONE lonely day, to pay the money right back. OP is a normal average person, and Chloe is a little bit uptight.
Anyone who's familiar with the OP's posting hx knows she is NOT a mooch/golddigger/deadbeat.
Seriously, her history paints a very different picture. She's got...issues galore but being a mooch isn't one of them based upon data provided.
I seem to be the only one skeptical of the "trip to Paris"; I think it's a lure the guy is holding out to keep her willing and swoony. It'll never happen. This fella can see how naive this gal is and is saying whatever to get whatever.
Women really should always have an escape plan in case something goes wrong on a date. The further from home, the more elaborate and careful that escape plan should be.
Agree.
Quote:
Originally Posted by upsadaisy
do you do checks on everyone you date?!
this is really dumb. I'm sorry but no.
It isn't dumb. If you are getting in a car alone, meeting someone in a remote area, being somewhere in a house alone... I hope you do some checking.
Also, this isn't just about dating someone, you plan to go on an International trip with him.
You hardly know this guy. Have you met his family? Have you met his friends?
What is dumb is going away on an International trip with a guy who is paying for most of the trip and not having a back up plan if something goes very wrong while abroad. Do you have a health care plan that will take care of you in the case of an emergency while you are abroad?
It isn't dumb. If you are getting in a car alone, meeting someone in a remote area, being somewhere in a house alone... I hope you do some checking.
Also, this isn't just about dating someone, you plan to go on an International trip with him.
You hardly know this guy. Have you met his family? Have you met his friends?
What is dumb is going away on an International trip with a guy who is paying for most of the trip and not having a back up plan if something goes very wrong while abroad. Do you have a health care plan that will take care of you in the case of an emergency while you are abroad?
Guy could be a trafficker; IF an international trip does happen it'll likely end in a Kuwait brothel for the OP.
She's a perfect victim: no family, no money, no friends, no education, unsophisticated and naive like a 14y/o is naive and low self esteem/abuse/foster care/poverty background/still impoverished, not even a fixed address, lives in transitional housing so no trace left behind when she never returns, therefore easily "swooned" to say the least.
She forgot ONE lonely day, to pay the money right back. OP is a normal average person, and Chloe is a little bit uptight.
And yet, Chloe didn't create this situation and I suspect would have much preferred if the OP had just had enough cash to pay her own way in the first place.
Guy could be a trafficker; IF an international trip does happen it'll likely end in a Kuwait brothel for the OP.
She's a perfect victim: no family, no money, no friends, no education, unsophisticated and naive like a 14y/o is naive and low self esteem/abuse/foster care/poverty background/still impoverished, not even a fixed address, lives in transitional housing so no trace left behind when she never returns, therefore easily "swooned" to say the least.
Really. Likely. You're going so far as to say he's LIKELY a human trafficker. It's LIKELY he wants to sell upsadaisy to a brothel?
People can be so weird when it comes to money. You'll know next time when you go out to carry enough cash to get you in wherever you need to go. Pay for your own darn snacks and as for paying for gas, to me that's a little extreme. I'd be freaking clocking mileage and doing the math. I'd be damn if I'm filling the tank to go 6 miles out of town or anywhere close by.
Two years ago my daughter was invited to a roller skating birthday party. I'm not big into accepting all invitations but this particular little girl lived in the apartment complex we use to live in and they go to the same school. They're very close. We get to the roller skating rink with our gift in hand only to find out that we had to pay for the entrance fee, the skate rental and there was a concession stand where we can buy food. It was a 1:00 party, no food. Nothing on the invite said, btw you're paying for everything. I was so annoyed!! On top of the $30 we spent for the gift, I dished out another $25 for the party admission and meals. WTH? Plus the kid drove off with two car trunks full of gifts. I personally would never throw a birthday party for my child and expect the guest (at least not the children) to pay their way to attend my child's party. Incredible!
You'll know better next time. When you're hanging out with Chloe, always carry cash!!!
Really. Likely. You're going so far as to say he's LIKELY a human trafficker. It's LIKELY he wants to sell upsadaisy to a brothel?
Nah, that's an extreme scenario but does and can happen and if I were a trafficker I'd seek out exactly the sort of gal the OP seems to be: one who can vanish and no one report her missing, not even a neighbor as she lives in a motel. No one will be calling police/hiring PIs to find her.
I think this is more likely a case of the guy using this "lure" as I said in earlier post, that shall never materialize, in order to keep her starry eyed and compliant. This poster -going by her posts in many threads- is a sitting duck for any man with basic manipulation skills let alone a truly nefarious character.
Last edited by VexedAndSolitary; 05-08-2018 at 07:28 PM..
Nah, that's an extreme scenario but does and can happen and if I were a trafficker I'd seek out exactly the sort of gal the OP seems to be: one who can vanish and no one report her missing, not even a neighbor as she lives in a motel. No one will be calling police/hiring PIs to find her.
I think this is more likely a case of the guy using this "lure" as I said in earlier post, that shall never materialize, in order to keep her starry eyed and compliant. This poster -going by her posts in many threads- is a sitting duck for any man with basic manipulation skills let alone a truly nefarious character.
OK, I get the possibility is real and I would never say that one should not take some precautions before leaving the country with a man one has been dating a short time, but, I take exception to the other parts.
OP is happy dating him and going to dinners and movies with him. He isn't trying to control her or make her 'compliant'.
There is no need for a 'lure'. From everything she posts. they are both happy where they are at.
If you want to caution her against spending money for the trip before he say, buys her a passport, I would agree. She should also be the holder of her round trip ticket.
If I were her I would start playing Chloe up as someone who is very concerned about my welfare. A real busy-body. 'Chole is asking me about abc and xyz'.
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