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OP, I missed the part where you often drive her around, pay her entry fees, buy her food and drinks and refuse to be reimbursed. Your story as it stands makes you sound like a taker.
You say it is only $10, but it is not your $10 that you can afford to be so cavalier about.
As for the snacks, you asked her to pick up that food for you .
Start carrying a bit of cash when you go out, and pay back loans immediately, or maybe next time when you dont have money for the cover charge she will go in and leave you out on the sidewalk to get yourself home however you can, because you never drive your own car.
And yet Chloe doesn't offer to pay the OP back when she buys something for her. If I itemized my receipts to get every penny back from a friend, you can bet I'd make sure I paid every penny back (most likely rounded up to the nearest dollar) to them when they picked something up at the store for me.
So who's taking advantage of who...
OP only said that she has offered a couple times to buy Chloe's drink or snack and didn't expect her to repay. We don't know whether or not Chloe offered to pay the OP back.
If I ever borrow money from someone, even if it is only a dollar, repaying that money is my first priority. If I need to make a special trip to an ATM or bank or whatever to get the cash, I make the trip regardless of whether it is convenient for me or not. There is no "forgetting" or getting too busy; it is constantly on my mind until it is repaid. If something beyond my control does cause a delay in returning their money, I contact them immediately to apologize and let them know; I do not wait for them to contact me. It is simple courtesy and a way of expressing my appreciation for their kindness. Most of the people I know well behave in a similar fashion regarding borrowed money.
Your friend is not weird about money. She is being proactive, likely with good reason. In her place, having had to take the initiative to inquire about repayment, I would not be offering another loan of any amount.
Well, $10 may not seem like a lot of money to you, but that is a decent amount. And during my life, I have found that those small "loans" rarely get paid back. For all you know, your friend has a very tight financial situation. And you mention that you guys didn't know that you would have to pay that $10, so for your friend, she may be financially stressed because she didn't know either and now she's out $20 total since she paid for you. And maybe you've been "loaned" small amounts in the past, and never fully reciprocated in the way you say "friends" should do..... is that possible?
You feel uncomfortable.... but think how she feels? Having to ask you multiple times for the money?
You never know what's going on with other people.
And I've seen much, much more extreme versions. In college, we stopped at McDonald's on the way home from a party and I didn't have my wallet and asked a friend if she could buy me a small fries and that I'd pay her back when we got to the dorm. Well, in my bag I had my checkbook, which I showed her when I said... "Shoot.... forgot my wallet...." My friend had me write her a check right then and there for $.69. She couldn't even wait 30 minutes until we got back to the dorm.
My friend is an heiress. Literally. To this day when we have lunch we pay exactly for our portion of the meals, split the tip to the penny, and she asks to take home all the leftovers... including the bread etc..
Why is she like this? Money nearly destroyed her family and caused a falling out between her parents/siblings. I don't know the details...
You never know what is going on with other people.
And you shouldn't be so cavalier about $10. If you saved that $10 now towards an IRA you would be shocked how much it will be by the time you retire..... Be smart.
And you shouldn't be so cavalier about $10. If you saved that $10 now towards an IRA you would be shocked how much it will be by the time you retire..... Be smart.
That's pretty much the dictionary definition of cheap...
Some people are cheap and some people are magnanimous. Wasteful if you will. But whatever. It's their $.
The idea of using an app like Venmo to ensure a debt like $10 gets paid just makes you look like a super cheap ass.
Yes, it does, at least a little.
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Also, keep in mind. In the day of plastic payment, almost NOBODY has cash on them these days. That's likely a reason why they haven't paid you. They forget, and when they remember, they don't have cash.
True, but this seems to be counter-intuitive to your other statement. Venmo solves the problem of not having cash on hand, which most (esp. younger people, who are so smartphone-centric) rarely do anymore. It's so trivially easy to set up/use. I'd rather encourage them to set up Venmo (painlessly, mind you) instead of waiting for their lazy posterior region to remember to spot me the pizza coke when it's their turn
True, but this seems to be counter-intuitive to your other statement. Venmo solves the problem of not having cash on hand, which most (esp. younger people, who are so smartphone-centric) rarely do anymore. It's so trivially easy to set up/use. I'd rather encourage them to set up Venmo (painlessly, mind you) instead of waiting for their lazy posterior region to remember to spot me the pizza coke when it's their turn
I agree with you.
But in society (cheap/broke high school and college students excluded), there's a certain unwritten rule, that you just have a certain 'trust' in people to pay you back small amounts. And that if they don't pay you back after 5 times of lending them that $10 ever, it's not a big deal because it was only a smaller amount of $, and you don't lend them $ again.
That's why when you ask a co-worker for $10 for lunch, it's normal.
we saw one but it was down. I didn't look around anywhere else. i was honestly super drunk.
I know I'm an adult. I said Id pay her back and I did. I didn't even know what Venmo was until just now.
C'mon now...super drunk? Listen, I want you to succeed in life. For now, no more super drunk, borrowing money etc...save every nickel to get the heck out of living in that hotel.
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