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My mom always said my dad tried to buy people's affection by gifting them with things - sometimes they were things we still needed -like her vaccum cleaner or my high chair, etc.
I find myself doing the same thing - I guess it is to try to win their friendship, as he did.
I crochet, paint, sew, bake, or just outright buy stuff for people. Old friends and family and new ones, too.
Sometimes I go to quite a bit of trouble on these items and I can say, rarely, do I get much thanks for them.
I've cut back lately, except for my niece and one old friend, as looking at the totality of my "giving" I feel I've been a chump.
Anyone else find themselves being overly generous and to not much benefit?
Maybe what you crochet, paint, and sew are not items which they find value in, and while the thought is appreciated, they are not items which they want.
You create the crocheted items, paintings, and sewed items to keep yourself creatively challenged, involved, and happy in the creation, and there is value in creation to the substance of your life, but maybe they are items which are more value to you than others.
As for baking, not everyone wants baked items, for a variety of reasons.
As for giving your crocheted items, paintings, and sewn items to others, I don't see it as 'generous' because you are involved in their creation to keep your mind involved and challenged - so it's something you're doing for yourself.
It is generous that you outright buy other items as gifts - best if it is something they want or need.
Your crafts may not have an appeal for those you mentioned, however if you keep doing it and save them away then perhaps several times a year you could get yourself a booth at a local craft fair and make yourself a little something. Or the senior center may do that kind of thing every so often. Every one comes together and you will also meet likeminded crafty folks who may share some knowledge on who, what and where the unsold items may be most useful- a woman's shelter, a hospital etc.
When my hubby was on the cancer unit, a volunteer came around with crochet and knitted shawls for the patients. They were welcomed and appreciated. We both used it! Their generosity and kindness was greatly appreciated and accepted!
Don't stop - Keep going doing what you love! Just keep looking for those who will appreciate your work :-)
I like to give, too. But directly to the needy. I am working with a Mexican girls orphanage. I am in the process of upgrading their electrical system. I hired the contractor and am paying the contractor (he has done work at our homes here since 2008). I also donate directly to programs at the local women's health center. I ask the director what she needs, then I go out and buy the items.
I became wary in the US of simply writing checks to charities. I read so many articles about high overheads, big salaries and so little of contributions going to the people who need it.
I stopped gifting our nieces and nephews; they are all 27 to 38. We gave them each a large check on their 21st birthday. Other than checks for weddings and births of their kids, we do not give them money or gifts. All have done well and their parents (our siblings) are as well-off as us, or better.
I give as much as I can but don't go out of my way. I've given 3 paintings away to total strangers in the last year as these people commented on my works and I told them to pick one they liked and it's theirs....I'll have so much left when I pass on, why not give it now. It's not shorting myself. These strangers were 2 delivery guys and one computer tech.
Art and household decorations are quite personal and people may not have your tastes or know how much work you put into making things for them. If it's not something they would buy for themselves they would probably appreciate a gift card more.
I crochet, paint, sew, bake, or just outright buy stuff for people. Old friends and family and new ones, too.
I personally treasure gifts people make for me no matter what they are. They are the most treasured gifts in my opinion. They come from the heart and someone took their time to make that gift for you!! Last summer a lady brought us an apple cake she'd made, I was tickled to death. It was so thoughtful and showed she cared.
As long as you enjoy giving and they appreciate the gifts, that's all that matters.
2 Corinthians 9:7
Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.
Last edited by Over the hill gang; 05-02-2018 at 08:42 PM..
Reason: spelling error
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