Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I tell my son that I make it super easy for him because I love the foaming hand soap from Bath and Body Works. I'm such a cliche! lol! For now, I pay because he's only 13 and doesn't have a job (although he does buy me little things with his own money sometimes). When he's older, he'll pay but I'll still be happy to get my bag full of bottles of soap. I get enough at MD to last the year and every time I wash my hands I feel happy about it.
I sometimes buy myself other things I want too, and say they are "from him" and he gets a kick out of that. I think when he's older, he will think to get me stuff on his own, but it's a while off, so who knows.
I've found that like others have said, life is easier when you don't expect people to be mind readers. Yes, being surprised with something that you love has its charms, but it's also a lot more likely you end up being disappointed.
On Saturday, my son and I will go to B&BW, we will pick out my soap (I'm fussy about the smells, so I like to pick them out myself) and then go to a movie since they are in the same shopping center. For MD itself, we will spend some time with my own mom but we prefer to not go out that day and deal with crowds. We stay pretty low key but still have a nice day.
I know Mother's Day can be painful for those who have lost children, haven't been able to have children they wanted, have lost their own moms, are estranged from their family, etc. But really, that holds true for most occasions. I think about those people and acknowledge their pain when it's appropriate, but I also think that it's not fair to expect everyone to give up celebration (of anything, not just Mother's Day) just because it's not a day of celebration for someone else. Because that applies to everything so we'd have to all give up all celebrations, and that would be pretty sad.
I don't have children and my mother and I haven't spoken in several years - and all of that is too complicated to go into. The point is that it's mother's day and I have a mother and I'll send her a card. I got a nice card, with a cat, that I think she'll like and I'm making her potholders out of recycled denim. I don't know or care how she'll take this, but she spent my entire childhood proclaiming that what she "really wanted" I couldn't buy in a store, though she was never any more descriptive than that. So I assumed I was just a general disappointment to her and she likes being a victim and feeling sorry for herself. I do find the whole thing makes me sad as she's 79 and I'm almost 60 and we should be able to do better than this. But it never works out, so I do what I can, which is to remember her and send something as a remembrance and leave it at that.
But all that being said, you can take holidays as a good or bad opportunity. They involve other people, so they are emotional and I assume it's up to me to follow my more positive emotions. My husband and I will ignore the day generally as his mother is long gone and we have no children of our own.
It's funny that some of you think Mother's Day is a "hallmark holiday." Did you hear that one time and just believe it?
It was actually proclaimed as a recognized day to honor mothers by Woodrow Wilson more than 100 years ago. In Catholic and Protestant faiths, "Mothering Sunday" is celebrated on the 4th Sunday of Lent.
I like Mother's Day even though I am one of those moms who has a deceased child. Since I became a mom though we have always celebrated by spending time together...brunch or picnic or movie or otherwise a day out. It's not a day for presents but a day for presence.
Thanks. I thought it was bizarre that people thought that, too. I couldn't remember which President set it up, though, so thanks for saving me from looking it up.
My Mom is 89. We had our "stuff" going back a few years, but she isn't the same person she once was, and neither am I. I still don't like to get overly-mushy cards, but she WAS my "daycare" so that I didn't have to use a daycare when my daughter was growing up and my marriage was bad and then ended. I had to work full-time, and she and my 26-year-old daughter are close to this day. I look for a card that expresses gratitude.
For the past few years, my BIL has treated all the moms in the family who want to come to a Mother's Day brunch. It is a very nice time. I always get my mom a small gift, often a plant for her garden, and now my daughter does the same thing for me.
I can see where the day could be painful for some people, though.
Right. Mother's Day definitely wasn't invented by Hallmark. Most of the holidays people seem to resent so much are those that involve gifting presents to other people. So people who hate these holidays are usually people who have difficult relationships with others in general, or they aren't generous by nature. They'll go out and buy a 75 dollar steak dinner for themselves and then get upset about the cost of a greeting card and a few flowers.
Well, that isn't the subject of the thread, which asks how MOMS feel about Mother's Day. As a mom, I'm ambivalent about it. I make sure to send something to my own mother, but could hardly care less if my family makes an effort on my behalf. I know I'm loved and cared about daily, I just don't need a special day to be made a fuss over.
Different strokes. I have no issue with other mothers relishing their holiday, but it isn't a big deal for me. And frankly, it can sometimes come across as a competition among women on social media platforms.
I understand the point about the mother of his children not being the man's mother, but to stand hard on that point and refuse to acknowledge her as the mother of your little kids is kind of small and makes for a sucky husband.
My MIL died in July five weeks before my dd was born in August. The next year was my first Mother's Day, but I didn't get any acknowledgement from my now-ex because he was making a big deal over missing his mother, whom he treated like crap when she was alive. My mom bought me a little African violet plant and a card. I wasn't her mother, either.
Father's Day rolled around, and I bought him a card from our daughter along with a collectible silver dollar that had the date of the year of her birth on it. He opened it and said, "What a cheesy Father's Day present."
My sister and I used to call it " Roll out the red carpet Day", because our mom would get bent out of shape and pouty if we didn't plan something extravagant for her.
I can definitely understand why a lot of people would not like Mother's Day -- people whose mothers have died, people whose children have died, people who are estranged from their mothers/children, people who had narcissistic or abusive mothers, etc.
I actually like Mother's Day. I send my mom a gift and a card -- if I lived closer to her, I'd see her. She doesn't get mad if the gift were late or if I didn't send her something. I wish my kids would do something, but they're 8 and 13, so they're still young. I don't need them to buy anything, but it would be nice if I could have a day where they didn't complain.
The day isn't a huge deal for us, but I do like to play the MD card if there is something I want to do. Often we go out for Dim Sum, because no one will go any other day of the year. Sometimes I get some time to sneak off and read a book undisturbed (but not always). If I get that, then that's awesome.
No. I don't have a problem with any holiday. I don't expect mass holidays to be all about me.
You could, of course, mention to your kids your being hurt at the lack of communication on Mothers Day. And if the one says he doesn't "do cards," then you can say, "Well, I do, and it's a basic gesture of kindness if you're too lazy to send a gift."
Perhaps more crucially, do you exchange presents on birthdays? If you do, great. If they don't acknowledge your birthday, though, I hope you stop acknowledging theirs, or their children's.
And adults do not normally speak to their parents every day.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
