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The sugar daddy thing is in its early stages, so far she only gets food from him. There was a thread in the food section where she was asking why she cannot take buffet food home, since it is all there on display ready to be taken (home). On another thread she wonders why she doesn't lose weight. And on another one she claims she mostly eats fast food.
Study law ... I went to a community college for a paralegal degree - anyone can do it. We should be happy for her to have ambitions.
She's a nice kid but no guidance. I guess having a sugar daddy is the smartest thing she can do. Otherwise she might never be able to go to Paris on her own.
I'm just bothered by a man who sees all the dysfunction yet offers a trip to France instead of true needs. It's nice & all but it all seems so shady. And with OPs "not yet matured" life & decision making skills and no funds? Potential disaster.
I agree with the posts stating to "look within"...
I'm just bothered by a man who sees all the dysfunction yet offers a trip to France instead of true needs. It's nice & all but it all seems so shady. And with OPs "not yet matured" life & decision making skills and no funds? Potential disaster.
I agree with the posts stating to "look within"...
No snark, true concern.
He's offering it because he'll never deliver it; it's a promise made in May for a trip in Oct to a naive and desperately poor kid.
He's using it as a lure to keep her compliant as I opined in another thread.
If it materializes I'll eat my hat.
She's so grateful for his attention she isn't costing him much -per her posts- he's probably thrilled to get NSA sex so inexpensively. I hope he pays for heartworm preventative and quality food for that poor dog (lots of heartworm in NC). A true "sugar baby" which this OP is not, would be costing him a lot more than dinners. Remember this OP thinks Olive Garden is fancy.
McJobs are easy to get. You make no money now so you have nothing to lose by going out and getting a new one. Start your new job and be quiet and stay busy all the time. Be friendly and helpful but unfailingly professional. Keep all your opinions to yourself. Never complain about co-workers, the company, or your boss. No whining about doing extra work. No gossip of any kind. Period.
This one always works. USE it. It is not your job to watch other employees. You are not the manager.
Did you see Jane come in late this morning? No, I was busy and didn't notice.
Did you see Jane take a case of meat out of the walkin? No, I was busy and didn't notice.
okay first off like i have said many times, he's not my sugar daddy and hes not paying me for sex. taht actually is really gross to me. i don't judge what others do because its not my place, but for me the thought of that makes me feel really sick. i would never take advantage of someone like that. I don't ask my guy for money, we are just friends that date and hang out. It's not that serious. I have borrowed money from him but it has only been once and it was a matter of paying rent or getting kicked out. Normally i don't borrow money and i have always worked and payed my own bills since I was a teenager. i know what sugar daddies and all that are, i'm not dumb, but thats not my lifestyle and it never has been.
i also never had sex with nobody in a parking lot and that situation happened a long time ago before i even moved here. yes, it was a dumb thing to do but I never made that mistake again, I learned from it TRUST ME. that guy was a jerk and i never should have went out with him or messed with that at all. I was just lonely i guess, and I know thats not an excuse but that's what that was.
And yes, we are going to Paris. Why would he randomly promise something like that?? Like really lol. He was already going anyway. it wasn't a trip planned just for me and him. He's doing work stuff and wanted to know if i wanted to go since he would have a few days free. it's not some rich fancy trip. Honestly. He just offered to buy me a ticket.
I agree, she seems ethical, tries her best and seems to truly WISH to do better but the severe lack of introspective ability and arrested development that seems obvious is impeding her as evidenced by her constantly blaming others for "being mean". A RL mentor or counselor would do her good for sure.
Unlike many raised in unheated trailers as she was she actually is willing to WORK HARD and that is an excellent trait. She doesn't seem lazy, nor greedy, no substance abuse issues so does seem to have a chance to "make it" out of her socioeconomic stratum but staying delusional and blaming others won't get her there.
OP have you considered counseling?
OP works at Mc Donalds, do you think she has money for counseling?
She needs a mentor. Really, I do not think this guy is bad for her - maybe he helps her with life decisions. He may never come true with Paris - but who cares - she gets free food, likes the sex with him and overall, this seems like a good arrangement.
Not sure why people here call this guy shady - Lots of people have sex and get a free meal beforehand. They both get something out of it and I truly believe she would sleep with him without getting food for it. OP is not a bad person, just needs some help with life decisions. Most kids in her position would be hooked on drugs, have 3 kids with 3 guys and refuse to work.
OP works at Mc Donalds, do you think she has money for counseling?
She needs a mentor..
Did you not read the part about insurance possibly covering mental health care? The OP is required to have insurance, whether her employer provides it or not. And if she changes employers, and gets on with, say, a grocery store company, she'd get decent insurance.
I agree; it sounds like she needs a work mentor. With steady guidance, she could probably do well.
okay first off like i have said many times, he's not my sugar daddy and hes not paying me for sex. taht actually is really gross to me. i don't judge what others do because its not my place, but for me the thought of that makes me feel really sick. i would never take advantage of someone like that. I don't ask my guy for money, we are just friends that date and hang out. It's not that serious. I have borrowed money from him but it has only been once and it was a matter of paying rent or getting kicked out. Normally i don't borrow money and i have always worked and payed my own bills since I was a teenager. i know what sugar daddies and all that are, i'm not dumb, but thats not my lifestyle and it never has been.
i also never had sex with nobody in a parking lot and that situation happened a long time ago before i even moved here. yes, it was a dumb thing to do but I never made that mistake again, I learned from it TRUST ME. that guy was a jerk and i never should have went out with him or messed with that at all. I was just lonely i guess, and I know thats not an excuse but that's what that was.
And yes, we are going to Paris. Why would he randomly promise something like that?? Like really lol. He was already going anyway. it wasn't a trip planned just for me and him. He's doing work stuff and wanted to know if i wanted to go since he would have a few days free. it's not some rich fancy trip. Honestly. He just offered to buy me a ticket.
So how about all the comments about how you state everyone (EVERYone) treats you badly and what about YOUR behavior may be causing that? Has that occurred to you, that YOU may be the problem in all the negative reactions you get from folks? What say you?
I think that some of you are being a little hard on Upsadaisy. Her posting history may be different than many people's posting history but, IMHO, it is because she uses CD as a place to vent her minor frustrations, or ask questions, on a wide variety of topics. When I have something minor that is bugging me I call my sister, or adult niece, or one of my friends to talk about it. If they aren't available, I call may call my brother or adult son or DIL or vent to a neighbor. In the past, I usually discussed most things with my late husband.
If I have a question about something, what to do in a specific situation or what to wear or something else I have a variety of people that I can ask about it so I don't always have to ask my online friends.
Upsadaisy does not have any of those people, parents, spouse, siblings, adult nieces/nephews, friends to ask simple questions or to share minor vents.
The point is that most of us have a lot of options that Usadaisy does not have. Most of us have A LOT more options! She has had a very difficult life and is trying to cope the best way that she knows. I bet that if many of us had the same obstacles we would not be managing as well as she is managing.
thank you germaine! i have always respected and appreciated your advice. you are one of the people on here who helped convince me to move. i will always be greatful for that! You have never been mean to me and have always talked with me about whatever. I do post on here about random stuff I guess. I don't talk to many people in real life so I come on here to talk about whatever.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
This is a good idea. There are a variety of retail jobs that would be open to the OP, with her food service experience. Most grocery stores hire periodically; I see constant turnover in most grocery stores where I shop. With the OP's cashiering experience, she could apply at Whole Foods, her local food co-op, any mom-and-pop shops and grocers, as well as the chain grocers (some are unionized, and pay well, I'm told). Department stores also have openings, but there, there's definitely clean-up involved on every shift, putting clothes away that are left in the dressing rooms, and so forth. May not be the OP's preference.
I honestly don't want to work at a grocery store. In fast food at least you get to walk around, I would hate standing in front of a register all day in one place. Here at my job I do drive thru but i get to clean and walk around. I just wouldnt want to work at a grocery store but thanks for the suggestion
Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver
Good rule of thumb? Don't throw your co-workers under the bus unless absolutely necessary. You didn't talk to your colleagues before tattling on them to your manager.
As for the rest, your manager is probably correct. Gain a little self-awareness. Shape up or ship out.
yes that was a mistake. I should have talked more with them about it but i get nervous about confronting people i guess. I dont know the right way to go about it and I'm always scared that if I do that that someone won't like me. That sounds dumb I know but its something i struggle with.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
More great ideas! And OP, I hope you learned your lesson about not dating a superior at work. That was very bad judgment. Are you emotionally needy, is this why you keep looking to make friends at work, and got involved with a supervisor to the extent of going on a date?
Those who are suggesting some counseling/therapy probably have a good point. Your health insurance may cover that.
i guess I am. At that time i was really lonely. I still get really lonely. but my mind at that time was in such a bad place. My mom was drinking and getting violent, my house where i stayed was really tense and was just sooo bad. I did nothing but work then come home and take care of kids. It was a stressful time and i was just lonely. not trying to make excuses for that because it was pretty dumb but i was in such a bad place. I'm in a better situation now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
OP, why is it so hard for you to do your job? You've worked at McDonald's for years and still can't master the skills of fast food? What is puzzling about it to you?
Well, perhaps your upcoming whirlwind junket to Paris will clear your head and motivate you to be the best gol dang burger flipper ever!
When do you set off again?
I'm good at fast food, its not that. I think i just get way to overwhelmed at times! It happens. The mcdonalds i work at now does not have the nicest customers. Sometimes fights happen inside the store or customers get mad about stuff and start cussing. Not just at me but a bunch of us. Theres pressure to work faster. it can just be stressful and a lot going on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
And this is someone aspiring to become a paralegal? Movin' on up to the law firm parking lot, I guess??
Really?? I never did that in a parking lot. Thats gross/ Zentropa just likes to make fun of me i guess because she has such a great life and i don't, to her. I've tried talking with her about why she has a problem with me but whatever. That's how that is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AJ1957
As I said. Poor gal is delusional but really does seem goodhearted, bless her.
She also bought -not adopted, bought- a purebred Schnauzer while living in the motel where she now lives, very foolish move and I worry about the dog as she cannot -again per her posts- afford rent let alone dog upkeep.
She's like a 12 y/o trying to navigate the adult world with zero guidance. And now has a man claiming he'll take her to Disneyland, in Paris (FRANCE not TX) in October. She believes him.
I bought but he is adopted and hes a happy dog. I take good care of him. yes I don't have a backyard or a big place but i take him on walks and he has a big bed to sleep in and tons of toys. He needed me and I needed him. We were blessings to each other.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
OK, so we all know how to read daisy's previous posts. Jesus Christ, it's like having St Peter read all your past transgressions at the Pearly Gates.
Daisy has challenges, we know.
The kind of help that she needs is not the kind we can give her here. But hopefully she can start detecting patterns in her interactions that point the way to something she can work on.
Daisy, show some more accountability at work. Don't think that something is "not your job." If you treat it the way you would want your home to be treated, you will move up.
Maybe you can move to another location and work for a different manager.
thank you birdie! <3 you too have always been so nice to me and also encouraged me to leave my situation. thank you for always being nice and offering advice.
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
The sugar daddy thing is in its early stages, so far she only gets food from him. There was a thread in the food section where she was asking why she cannot take buffet food home, since it is all there on display ready to be taken (home). On another thread she wonders why she doesn't lose weight. And on another one she claims she mostly eats fast food.
Study law ... I went to a community college for a paralegal degree - anyone can do it. We should be happy for her to have ambitions.
She's a nice kid but no guidance. I guess having a sugar daddy is the smartest thing she can do. Otherwise she might never be able to go to Paris on her own.
i actually want to get a paralegal degree first. maybe when you have time you can tell me about what classes you took and how everything was
Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowsnow
McJobs are easy to get. You make no money now so you have nothing to lose by going out and getting a new one. Start your new job and be quiet and stay busy all the time. Be friendly and helpful but unfailingly professional. Keep all your opinions to yourself. Never complain about co-workers, the company, or your boss. No whining about doing extra work. No gossip of any kind. Period.
This one always works. USE it. It is not your job to watch other employees. You are not the manager.
Did you see Jane come in late this morning? No, I was busy and didn't notice.
Did you see Jane take a case of meat out of the walkin? No, I was busy and didn't notice.
Learn from this experience!
Yes but since I am always the shift before my mananger comes in, she expects everything to have been done. I have tried doing what you said and her attitude has always been, "well I don't care who does it. Tired of excuses. Everyone needs to work together and I want all these things done before I come in" basically.
So how about all the comments about how you state everyone (EVERYone) treats you badly and what about YOUR behavior may be causing that? Has that occurred to you, that YOU may be the problem in all the negative reactions you get from folks? What say you?
i know. i read all of that. I don't know what to say to that. I mean i guess its possible. i never said it wasn't me. I have a learning disorder so to be honest I can be a bit slow. I was in special education in school, not in with the people who had it really bad but I was in a class with kids who were slow learners. So I dont know, i may have interaction problems or those kinds of issues. I feel like I'm nice and I have had friends before. I feel like I can be slow, if that makes sense. Yes I try hard at work like I said, it can be VERY stressful. I honestly don't know. I do think people can be mean, but not everyone. I had an abusive family life and I have had abusive boyfriends BUT not all of them were. And they werent like that in the beginning it just happened over time. I guess that says something about me but I have tried to change that.
And if it is me then I'm not sure what to do really. Maybe I rub people the wrong way.
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Jesus Christ, it's like having St Peter read all your past transgressions at the Pearly Gates. 
