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You need to sell that beach house next door to theirs. Simple as that. You have no buffer zone.
I say the same. If his whole family is that toxic to you, then you're as close to their location now, as you'd want to be. An important question is, how close does your husband want to be to them?
I don't get it.
Stop being the type the cries at the drop of a hat.
There is nothing perfect in this world.
There will be people that like you and people that don't.
Don't let the stupid few stop you from enjoying the
company of the rest of the family who are beautiful inside.
Distancing yourself from everybody sais, well
you don't like any of them.
This will put a strain on you and your husband.
Always stay in the game. Don't worry if you are liked or not.
You will be respected over time.
Final:
If someone don't like you it's their problem.
If everybody don't like you it's yours.
It's not how they behave that makes me want to be away from them, it's more of what they are intrinsically-- in other words, they aren't good people who sometimes are cruel and insulting, they are somewhat unkind people who sometimes can act nicely, with "act" being the crucial word in my description.
"what they are intrinsically"
Trying to figure out what you could possibly mean that would apply to the entire family. You don't like their race? Religion? Politics?
I find that very sad and intolerant. If they seem somewhat unkind to you at times, it's probably in response to your obvious intolerance of them. Obviously your husband loves them very much, as he loves you.
At times when I've read your posts, they remind me of my daughter who has a touch of Asperger's and is overly offended by innocent looks and has trouble sometimes interpreting the social cues of others. What seems to you as "acting" may be reality and you may be judging them unfairly.
Trying to figure out what you could possibly mean that would apply to the entire family. You don't like their race? Religion? Politics?
I find that very sad and intolerant. If they seem somewhat unkind to you at times, it's probably in response to your obvious intolerance of them. Obviously your husband loves them very much, as he loves you.
At times when I've read your posts, they remind me of my daughter who has a touch of Asperger's and is overly offended by innocent looks and has trouble sometimes interpreting the social cues of others. What seems to you as "acting" may be reality and you may be judging them unfairly.
It's not bigotry. Our ethnicity is the same and would not be an a problem for me if it weren't. It is possible that they are responding to my dislike, and if so, it's unlikely that they will think about why people including me, don't like them--in general they're not an introspective group, and also, I haven't seen many of this family admit when they are clearly wrong.They don't apologize, and are very good at "blaming the victim"---I've seen them do this more than once in dealings with their neighbors and other people. When I've met people in the town my inlaws live in, and we chat, and I say what family I married into, I get looks and brief comments that imply dislike of them , and a bit of sympathy---it's subtle, but it's there. By "what they are intrinsically" I meant character traits such as "arrogant" "passive aggressive" "hypocritical"---which are unpleasant to be around. I'm painting them all with a broad brush, yes, but they are largely a family that shares similar characteristics. I don't dislike people due to simple exterior qualities, or because of things that are out of their control like ethnicity (including African American ethnicity or "race"), or sexual orientation or other things. I do judge people though on character traits like kindness, generosity, and tolerance of differing opinions and lifestyles, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't. As far as I know, I am not offended by innocent glances or looks, but glaring looks and rolling eyes are hard to miss. But I'm not a bigot, or imagining things, if that's what you're implying---of course reading a post makes it easy to miss the things that would be apparent in person, so I can understand the confusion. Still, it's my obligation to my husband to get along with them, and I am hoping to do this by avoidance, and simply was wondering if anyone else has pulled this off with inlaws, and if so, how it went...and maybe tips on how to do it without being too obvious. I'm already planning the planting of a long, thick hedge between the houses, for instance---the classic "don't want to see the neighbors" kind.
Last edited by Sophronia Sphinx; 06-22-2018 at 09:53 AM..
I don't get it.
Stop being the type the cries at the drop of a hat.
There is nothing perfect in this world.
There will be people that like you and people that don't.
Don't let the stupid few stop you from enjoying the
company of the rest of the family who are beautiful inside.
Distancing yourself from everybody sais, well
you don't like any of them.
This will put a strain on you and your husband.
Always stay in the game. Don't worry if you are liked or not.
You will be respected over time.
Final:
If someone don't like you it's their problem.
If everybody don't like you it's yours.
As much as I agree with this, I don't think living next door to one's in-laws is a good idea even in the best of marriages.
To make matters worse, the OP seems a bit fragile and sensitive.
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