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Old 07-22-2018, 05:04 PM
 
15,590 posts, read 15,716,012 times
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Try, "Of course I remember it - but why are YOU obsessed with it?"

Or, "Yes, I remember - but why would you keep bringing up something that would make me feel bad?"

Or, "Yes, I remember. But now let's talk about some unpleasant things in your past for a change?"
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Old 07-22-2018, 05:38 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,252 posts, read 108,183,264 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cida View Post
Try, "Of course I remember it - but why are YOU obsessed with it?"

Or, "Yes, I remember - but why would you keep bringing up something that would make me feel bad?"

Or, "Yes, I remember. But now let's talk about some unpleasant things in your past for a change?"
Bingo!

OP, those former HS students are people who haven't grown up, and from the looks of it, never will. 'The best revenge is a life well-lived", as they say. You're already way ahead of them in some ways. Stay positive. If you want to look for potential friendships, get involved in community activities, hobby groups, volunteering, etc.; you'll increase your chances of finding a kindred spirit sooner or later. Good luck!
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Old 07-23-2018, 01:18 AM
 
Location: TX
255 posts, read 184,714 times
Reputation: 622
Actually my parents do this to each other and to me.
It's called not being able to let go of the past and I think many people have this issue.
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Old 07-23-2018, 03:02 AM
 
13,496 posts, read 18,223,237 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by furrypro View Post
We all know there are people who live in the past. Some relive their glory days over and over. Others like to remind you of your most embarrassing and traumatic moments in life and seem obsessed with that. What is that really about? ...

Many decades ago in NYC there was a drag queen, who called herself Marsha P. Johnson. The police frequently picked her up and took her down to night court because it gave them a whole bunch of time to hang around waiting for the case to be heard and not be out on the streets.


Finally one of the judges got really riled up that here was this drag queen pulled in for some silly charge, and he gave the cops a hard time about it. Then he said to the defendant, Marsha P. Johnson....Miss Johnson, what it the P for?


Marsha replied, "Pay it no mind."


The judge dismissed the case and told the cops he didn't want to see her in night court again.


As regards the OP, remember the P in Marsha P. Johnson.
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Old 07-23-2018, 05:22 AM
 
7,602 posts, read 4,178,218 times
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Wow! They pay attention to your every move. Who knew you were that interesting. They need to get a hobby (That is what I would tell them.)
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Old 07-23-2018, 07:59 AM
 
3,320 posts, read 5,580,027 times
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I have a friend like that. She always brings up something from the past that makes someone uncomfortable. Luckily, I don't see her very often.

I would be interested in knowing why people do this too. I have always wondered why she is like this.
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Old 07-23-2018, 08:27 AM
 
Location: Texas
13,480 posts, read 8,410,114 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by furrypro View Post
I remember after I graduated high school I ran into a lot of classmates and acquaintances who were still stuck in high school mode and would come up to me, force an awkward conversation, and bring up "Remember when this embarrassing situation happened to you?" "That was so sad when you got booed at your graduation ceremony! I am so so sorry." "Remember that horrible girl you used to go out with. That was such a scandal." "I remember you kept talking about a certain movie over and over. It's like you were so obsessed it." They have no interest in focusing on your strengths, your positives, or being in the present moment just obsessing about your past with a fine tooth comb while not allowing any input from you. It's really very circular. .
If someone focuses on my life, it must be because they have nothing going on in their own life. I find it unsettling and creepy when someone I meet remembers everything about me.
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Old 07-23-2018, 08:35 AM
 
1,299 posts, read 825,787 times
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My sister is like this. She's made enough of a hash of her life that she wants to point out things other people have done to try to bring them down to her level. She has to reach back 30 years in my case, and it's annoying. Everyone has stupid things they did in their younger years. The difference between her and I is that I stopped doing stupid things in my early 20s, she never has. I've had to caution my grown daughter to be careful what stories she tells her aunt, because aunt will exaggerate and glom onto any sign of "mistake", and she will tell that tale for the rest of her life.
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Old 07-23-2018, 08:44 AM
 
2,048 posts, read 2,162,026 times
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It's insecurity. If greed is the root of all evil, then insecurity is the tree trunk.

You could say (with the gentlest tone of sarcasm - just a shade will do) "Wow, it's awesome rehashing things that happened 20 years ago". Or "You know, why is it that every time I see you we end up talking about stupid stuff that happened in high school?". Or just wait a beat and look them in the eye before responding, to communicate "I see what you're doing".

But even as I say that, I realize it's one thing to think of such sentences but much harder to actually say them. In that case, the best thing to do is what you've already done: identify the insecure people in your life and avoid them. These are people who still have a lot of growing to do.

The corollary to that is: don't live your life in such a way as to gain the respect you didn't have from your high school acquaintances. It's a losing battle. What I mean is, if you show up at a function driving a souped up car and dressed in a showy way purely to "show them up" and show them that you've moved beyond who you used to be. (I'm not saying you do this, but just general advice). People who do that never get the newfound respect they crave from their peers, and go home and feel crappy about it. The opposite is to just live your life in a way that's authentic, where you're doing things purely because they actually make you happy or give your life meaning (whether it's tossing a ball with your kids or birding or whatever). Knowing that you're only doing things for you (and yours) is great armor against those insecure people who will lob attempts to cut you down, no matter how well you're doing.
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Old 07-23-2018, 08:44 AM
 
2,528 posts, read 1,660,450 times
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So how about people will stop doing stupid things, so it will not hunt them in the future?
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