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I know that society became more puritanical and people became more afraid of each other in the 1980s and 1990s, but at the same time, society has become more tolerant over time and feminism has made
advances.
The biggest revolution ever took place in the 60s. Advances in human rights, not just women's rights, took place then. We wouldn't have the freedoms we do today if the revolution failed.
I'd say that relationships with men in the 70s leaned more toward "free" sex called that because it was no longer disgraceful to engage in sex before marriage. The 60s took care of that.
Puritanical does not not describe subsequent decades but the discovery of HIV in the 80s did make people more cautious although it took some time to sink in. The condom business went into a boom!
You only need to watch doc films about Woodstock to get a glimpse at the cultural climate in the 60s and then the early 70s.
I'd say that relationships with men in the 70s leaned more toward "free" sex called that because it was no longer disgraceful to engage in sex before marriage. The 60s took care of that.
Puritanical does not not describe subsequent decades but the discovery of HIV in the 80s did make people more cautious although it took some time to sink in. The condom business went into a boom!
I was a young adult in the 70s and 80s. From my perspective now, "free love" seemed to be about women changing their view of sex to be like the traditional men's view--that is, sex without commitment. Most of the women I knew (including me) wanted commitment and marriage, but tried to keep up with the times or risk being called frigid or teases or worse. Maybe that attitude is a residue of how we were raised, and I can't speak to the mindset of young women today.
HIV-Aids slowed it all down in the 80s, but I wouldn't call any era since the 60s puritanical.
Finding friendship is also quite hard with the opposite gender. People seem afraid of it. Like it will morph into something they don't want when they least expect. It's a shame, because it prevents people from getting to know eachother in a low stakes manner, and enjoying eachother's company without being burdened by the heartache and heartbreak of a serious romantic relationship.
This is what I was asking about. I was using "puritanical" to mean paranoid and freudian, thinking that everyone secrety wants sex, thinking that everyone and everything is a threat, etc.
Last edited by redguitar77111; 08-25-2018 at 04:01 PM..
What you thought was a platonic friendship in the 70's was actually one of those people being gay and not being able to come out and be gay.
Seriously, that's what about 90% of platonic friendships are about. Or one or both people don't want any sexual relationship, they aren't into any sex, hetero or homo.
Makes me wonder about Plato lol. What I do think is cool about younger people is they aren't all worried about having a same-sex best friend, esp. men and people assuming they are gay. Younger people seem more laid back. Women have always been allowed to have close women friends.
... thinking that everyone secrety wants sex, thinking that everyone and everything is a threat, etc.
I don't think "threat" is the most accurate word, but in my experience and in the opinions of most people I have asked about the topic, in an opposite-sex friendship one partner DOES secretly wish for more.
I don't think that's always true. Some people are friends because there is no attraction beyond friendship. I think most people have thought "i wonder what so-and-so would be like in bed?" Some people keep thinking that longer than others lol
I know that society became more puritanical and people became more afraid of each other in the 1980s and 1990s, but at the same time, society has become more tolerant over time and feminism has made
advances.
You "know" that, do you? Do you also "know" that brownies clean your house for you if you leave a bowl of cream out for them?
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
I don't think "threat" is the most accurate word, but in my experience and in the opinions of most people I have asked about the topic, in an opposite-sex friendship one partner DOES secretly wish for more.
The opinions of people you know don't make it fact. LOL!
I've had tons of platonic friendships. Only one or two advanced to a dating stage. I can't recall anyone ever making an unwanted advance. Not among my friends, those only came from people I didn't like for other reasons, LOL!
More common. Half of my friends were of the opposite sex. Nobody assumed we were having sex or wanted to. Having lots of friends of whatever sex (I almost said gender) was just something you did.
It has become more difficult because of the poisoned political-sexual atmosphere. Eventually that problem will go away and we will go back to acting like normal people. I hope.
our society has become more puritanical? huh? if DJT is any bell-weather, and since most young people live together for sometimes years before getting married, if ever..... staying in a monogamous relationship certainly doesn't seem to be as important these days. Men still feel as free as ever to play around, and women certainly aren't hampered by social strictures of church and family either. As a woman who finally had the courage to fight the family and leave a deeply tragic marriage, I never found men EVER wanting only a platonic friendship... it seemed that since I was of a certain age, it was expected I would be foot loose and fancy free..... but why would an older woman not have a deep sense of respect for herself? Sleeping around wasn't in the cards, but everywhere it was assumed I would be "a MILF, a cougar!!!". For me, it had nothing to do with being puritanical, no. not at all. It was purely an issue of self respect.... and all around me so many of my friends were nothing like me. fine. their choice, it is NEVER up to me to judge anyone and i didn't think any less of them, but i would have thought less of myself had i behaved promiscuously. If anything, I always searched for a warm, platonic relationship, but have never met a man would stand for it.
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