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Are you kidding me?! In past decades, there is no way that a guy and a girl where both or one of them is in a serious relationship would EVER think of hanging out with each other, because it would be totally inappropriate, but in today's society you actually have to spell this out for people. There is no understanding of appropriate / inappropriate behavior whatsoever. My first girlfriend, I had to explain to her that it's not ok to show off her boobs at parties for "beads," Mardi Gras or not. Her response? "Well, it's my body, I just didn't think it was a big deal." Only a complete moron wouldn't realize that's inappropriate behavior. One thing she taught me and frankly so has every other girl is nothing is obvious anymore, it all has to be spelled out clearly like you're speaking to a 5-year-old about their chores.
It SHOULD be obvious not to text other guys / girls if you're in a relationship, but since it isn't, you have to explain it. It SHOULD be obvious you don't go drink with members of the opposite gender in party settings without your SO there, but it isn't. I feel sorry for people dating in today's society. I would never go back. If my GF and I weren't getting married, or I somehow ended up divorced down the road, I'd just opt for a life of being a player, that way I don't have to worry about what she's doing. "When it Rome," basically. The way girls behave today, I'm not sure why any guy would want to commit to them. There are still some good ones out there, but boy, it's rare.
Are you kidding me?! In past decades, there is no way that a guy and a girl where both or one of them is in a serious relationship would EVER think of hanging out with each other, because it would be totally inappropriate, but in today's society you actually have to spell this out for people. There is no understanding of appropriate / inappropriate behavior whatsoever. My first girlfriend, I had to explain to her that it's not ok to show off her boobs at parties for "beads," Mardi Gras or not. Her response? "Well, it's my body, I just didn't think it was a big deal." Only a complete moron wouldn't realize that's inappropriate behavior. One thing she taught me and frankly so has every other girl is nothing is obvious anymore, it all has to be spelled out clearly like you're speaking to a 5-year-old about their chores.
It SHOULD be obvious not to text other guys / girls if you're in a relationship, but since it isn't, you have to explain it. It SHOULD be obvious you don't go drink with members of the opposite gender in party settings without your SO there, but it isn't. I feel sorry for people dating in today's society. I would never go back. If my GF and I weren't getting married, or I somehow ended up divorced down the road, I'd just opt for a life of being a player, that way I don't have to worry about what she's doing. "When it Rome," basically. The way girls behave today, I'm not sure why any guy would want to commit to them. There are still some good ones out there, but boy, it's rare.
Different times have different morals. Yours seem to be a little old fashioned (and I'm in my sixties). It IS her body, and if it's no big deal to her, then it's no big deal. If it's a big deal to you, you should find someone else instead of calling her a moron.
Are you kidding me?! In past decades, there is no way that a guy and a girl where both or one of them is in a serious relationship would EVER think of hanging out with each other, because it would be totally inappropriate, but in today's society you actually have to spell this out for people. There is no understanding of appropriate / inappropriate behavior whatsoever. My first girlfriend, I had to explain to her that it's not ok to show off her boobs at parties for "beads," Mardi Gras or not. Her response? "Well, it's my body, I just didn't think it was a big deal." Only a complete moron wouldn't realize that's inappropriate behavior. One thing she taught me and frankly so has every other girl is nothing is obvious anymore, it all has to be spelled out clearly like you're speaking to a 5-year-old about their chores.
It SHOULD be obvious not to text other guys / girls if you're in a relationship, but since it isn't, you have to explain it. It SHOULD be obvious you don't go drink with members of the opposite gender in party settings without your SO there, but it isn't. I feel sorry for people dating in today's society. I would never go back. If my GF and I weren't getting married, or I somehow ended up divorced down the road, I'd just opt for a life of being a player, that way I don't have to worry about what she's doing. "When it Rome," basically. The way girls behave today, I'm not sure why any guy would want to commit to them. There are still some good ones out there, but boy, it's rare.
As a man, I can show my chest whenever I want. Why should it be any different for a woman? While I may or may not think it's appropriate or not, it surely isn't YOUR body. Mindyaownbizness.
You "know" that, do you? Do you also "know" that brownies clean your house for you if you leave a bowl of cream out for them?
The opinions of people you know don't make it fact. LOL!
I've had tons of platonic friendships. Only one or two advanced to a dating stage. I can't recall anyone ever making an unwanted advance. Not among my friends, those only came from people I didn't like for other reasons, LOL!
Do we all have to back up our thoughts and opinions with facts? Nope. Not at all.
But if you want clarification, you can google it and check it out.
National drinking age, Parents Music Resource Center, zero tolerance schools, sex offender registry, bike helmet laws, bigger homework loads
That is all true. Plus the AIDS crisis started in the mid 1980's. While not everyone changed their behavior, a significant number of people were more cautious. So it is safe to say that platonic relations were a little more common after the 1970's.
I found/find that in the aftermath of the sixties there was a spillover of social connection. But today, no. And today there's no "aftermath" socially to build upon.
I had lots of female pals in the seventies, including hanging around with friends' wives. Not today.
I was born in 1953, and I truly have no idea if platonic friendships have become more or less common than they were in the past, but I suspect that they have been because it seems that there is MUCH less of an emphasis on the idea that people should bet married, and back when I was a young woman in the 70's and 80's, most women that I knew evaluated every single man they met as to whether he would be a candidate as a future husband for her or not -- and if not, they moved on. Back then, although women did have friends, it was usually friends of their boyfriends or husbands or brothers -- and maybe work or school friends on a very limited basis if they had been eliminated as "marriage prospects".
I think it is much better these days for women and men to look at each other as people and not just as potential spouses, but judging from what I have heard and read, I think that young people are much more promiscuous now than they have ever been before, and although I am no prude, I don't think that is a good thing.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
You're suggesting that Americans became more Puritanical in the 80s and 90s? That's not really true.
I don't agree. From the people a bit older than me (around 50 ish) they saw a decidedly more sexual conservative slant being taken when the AIDS scare arose. People didn't know how it was spread, and there was by most accounts I have heard (including from older family members and friends) and distinct change in sexual habits toward being more puritanical in the early to mid 80s.
National drinking age, Parents Music Resource Center, zero tolerance schools, sex offender registry, bike helmet laws, bigger homework loads
How are these examples of society becoming more Puritanical? What do bike helmets have to do with it? And sex offender registries? What's a "zero tolerance school"? Zero tolerance of what? OP, please explain your OP, so we can understand and participate. Right now, it's one big mystery.
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the aftermath of the sixties
And sex offender registries? What's a "zero tolerance school"? Zero tolerance of what? OP, please explain your OP, so we can understand and participate. Right now, it's one big mystery.
