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Why? Because cancer is big business. Why does BMW make it seem like driving a BMW makes you a better person? Same reason why cancer "survivors" have been put on a pedestal. It brings in the dollars to the industry.
I know someone who had a lumpectomy for breast cancer 5 years ago. She frequently posts on social media about being a "cancer survivor," got a tattoo about it, attends "pink tie" events (breast cancer events), wears her 5-year Survivor hat in Race for the Cure, etc.
The other day it was just too much for me. I told her I had just visited my friend who was dying of pancreatic cancer, that there is no surviving for her. I also said that for people like me (and her, though I didn't say that), whose cancer treatment was a surgical, "once and done," as my melanoma was, calling myself a "cancer survivor" seems to be a slap to those who really had to FIGHT. Like my other friend, with a 5% chance of surviving, who suffered through horrendous treatments and clinical trials for a YEAR---yeah, SHE is a cancer survivor.
But to have a surgery and then be fine....why do some people think that's any bigger deal than surviving any other surgery, or infection, or illness? Why would people want to "define" themselves by some health issue they had in the past??
Newsflash: Not everyone gets the chance to "FIGHT" cancer, and certainly not in the same way (despite your use of all caps to signify that some really fight, while others (according to you) do not--or don't fight according to your specifications.
Unbelievable. Now we have self-appointed arbiters on the subject of how we're supposed to fight cancer (or any other scourge), whether A is FIGHTING as hard as B, and how those who survive are supposed to live their disease-free lives.
Wouldn't the world be a better place if people minded their own dang business. (That's not a question.)
Newsflash: Not everyone gets the chance to "FIGHT" cancer, and certainly not in the same way (despite your use of all caps to signify that some really fight, while others (according to you) do not--or don't fight according to your specifications.
Unbelievable. Now we have self-appointed arbiters on the subject of how we're supposed to fight cancer (or any other scourge), whether A is FIGHTING as hard as B, and how those who survive are supposed to live their disease-free lives.
Wouldn't the world be a better place if people minded their own dang business. (That's not a question.)
I'm guessing you missed my post #13 where I resolved my feelings on all this.
But even in my OP (did you actually read it?) I said that I don't think of myself as a cancer survivor. I didn't have to fight and suffer to beat my cancer. I spent two days in a hospital to take out a 3" chunk of tissue from my arm and some lymph nodes from my arm pit ---- that was it. That was my "once and done."
I didn't have to force myself to go back in for round after round of chemo, knowing it would make me feel so sick that dying seemed preferable many days. I didn't have to wear a Fentanyl patch just to temper the excruciating pain. I didn't have a fight in my own mind about whether or not it was worth it to keep putting myself through treatments. I was never tempted to just give up because I didn't think I had the strength left to fight.
Seems that you are the "self appointed arbiter" on how *I* should feel. If I don't feel like the fast, easy surgical removal of my cancer was a "fight," who are you to tell me that I should put myself in the same category as patients who have it MUCH worse than I did?
Why? Because cancer is big business. Why does BMW make it seem like driving a BMW makes you a better person? Same reason why cancer "survivors" have been put on a pedestal. It brings in the dollars to the industry.
For my part, I say "Yippee Ki Yay" the more attention and dollars that are directed to the research, advancement and new protocols in the hopes of a cure, I'm all for it! Yes, I am and yes I am aware of the huge salaries being paid to the various "Cure" personnel. I may not like the huge salaries but I do appreciate the edifice of their undertaking.
Ay Yi Yi, the suffering, move on researchers, keep going, bring us some more hope!
I hesitate to guess how many of us walk around with the dreaded thought of being diagnosed with Cancer, I'll bet there are many of us.
"We are all waiting but usually what comes along may not be what we're waiting for".
I'm guessing you missed my post #13 where I resolved my feelings on all this.
But even in my OP (did you actually read it?) I said that I don't think of myself as a cancer survivor. I didn't have to fight and suffer to beat my cancer. I spent two days in a hospital to take out a 3" chunk of tissue from my arm and some lymph nodes from my arm pit ---- that was it. That was my "once and done."
I didn't have to force myself to go back in for round after round of chemo, knowing it would make me feel so sick that dying seemed preferable many days. I didn't have to wear a Fentanyl patch just to temper the excruciating pain. I didn't have a fight in my own mind about whether or not it was worth it to keep putting myself through treatments. I was never tempted to just give up because I didn't think I had the strength left to fight.
Seems that you are the "self appointed arbiter" on how *I* should feel. If I don't feel like the fast, easy surgical removal of my cancer was a "fight," who are you to tell me that I should put myself in the same category as patients who have it MUCH worse than I did?
The initial problem is that you judged others based on how you feel and by comparing who has it worse and by doing so you marginalized the experience and feelings of someone else. It doesn’t feel good to be told by a “self appointed arbiter” on how you should feel and have your experience diminished .
The initial problem is that you judged others based on how you feel and by comparing who has it worse and by doing so you marginalized the experience and feelings of someone else. It doesn’t feel good to be told by a “self appointed arbiter” on how you should feel and have your experience diminished .
Yes, you're right, I was being judgy initially. I've admitted to this and realized that people deal with their health issues differently. Normally I am very much a "live and let live" person, but my sucky week caused me to respond poorly. I actually plan to apologize to the person I spoke about for not sharing in her excitement about being a 5-year survivor.
But, in spite of all that, the simple fact is some cancer patients do have it far worse than others. Doesn't mean I should have judged her for talking so much about her own situation, but I will continue to count my blessings for not having a "really bad cancer" experience.
I don't mind. To those people, it is often a defining moment in their lives, if not THE defining moment. It is the brush with mortality, the when everything in their lives changed forever. Some people speak of marriage that way. Or fighting in a war. Or some other event that completely alters how they look at everything. I've been fortunate to not know this in my life. Who am I to question how they feel?
Yes, you're right, I was being judgy initially. I've admitted to this and realized that people deal with their health issues differently. Normally I am very much a "live and let live" person, but my sucky week caused me to respond poorly. I actually plan to apologize to the person I spoke about for not sharing in her excitement about being a 5-year survivor.
But, in spite of all that, the simple fact is some cancer patients do have it far worse than others. Doesn't mean I should have judged her for talking so much about her own situation, but I will continue to count my blessings for not having a "really bad cancer" experience.
Was she celebrating her 5 year mark? Because that's a HUGE milestone for most types of cancer. That's the point that doctors consider you cured.
It's also a time that's really challenging emotionally for many survivors. You may be released from your oncologist's care and you may struggle with the term "cured."
For the record, I knew few people who had "really bad" cancer experiences, including myself, who minimize others' experiences.
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