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well....if im in a good mood i'll send a gift....the size or amount of the gift..in contingent on...how much that person means to me.... and if I think the marriage will last...… ive given thousands for wedding gifts over the years to couples that divorce......I think their should be a give back period if you divorce in less than 3 years of marriage - give the weddings gifts back..
if you expect me to fly anywhere because its your wedding....i'll send a picture and you can put it on a table or throw it away..
quite arrogant to think the world has to jump because you flew away to get married.
well....if im in a good mood i'll send a gift....the size or amount of the gift..in contingent on...how much that person means to me.... and if I think the marriage will last...… ive given thousands for wedding gifts over the years to couples that divorce......I think their should be a give back period if you divorce in less than 3 years of marriage - give the weddings gifts back..
if you expect me to fly anywhere because its your wedding....i'll send a picture and you can put it on a table or throw it away..
quite arrogant to think the world has to jump because you flew away to get married.
No one is telling anyone that they “have to jump”, so there is no arrogance. Are you unaware that invitations are optional?
Out of curiosity, what would you send the couple a picture of?
quite arrogant to think the world has to jump because you flew away to get married.
But it's also arrogant to assume the bride & groom are desperate for someone they invited to attend their wedding. Truth be told, they may not really care if a lot of people show up.
Hey, if you and your loved one want to get married on the bluffs of Santorini or on a beach in the Seychelles by yourselves, knock yourself out. I think it's great. Send photos.
But the minute you start expecting other people to shell out large sums of money or to burn through any number of vacation days in order to fulfill some vapid fairy tale dream, then you've just entered into the magical realm of self-entitlement. We've taken a simple ceremony and fetishized it to the point where it's just a seal act and some fireworks shy of being the Ziegfeld Follies.
Are you paying for everyone's plane tickets? Are you shelling out for their hotel, food, and drinks? If not, then you are asking them to spend several multiples of the amount it would take to fly to your local hometown, and spend two nights at the Hampton Inn. Unless you circulate in some pretty lofty financial circles, you've dictated to everyone what their vacation for the year is going to be, because once they've packed all the kids on the plane, they are spending thousands just for the privilege to watch you say, "I do." Oh, and let me tell you what. That grandmother of yours who wants nothing more than to see her granddaughter get married? Well, if you've never squired an 80-year-old through an airport trying to make a connection, you have no idea what a grueling ordeal it can be.
It may be your day, but it's not all about you. Grow up and realize that there are other people in your life who love you, want to be there to watch you get hitched, but don't want to go to the poorhouse in order to see it happen.
But it's also arrogant to assume the bride & groom are desperate for someone they invited to attend their wedding. Truth be told, they may not really care if a lot of people show up.
I think you need to understand the meaning of the word, "Invite."
I think you need to understand the meaning of the word, "Invite."
I think you need to understand the optional nature of an invitation.
You should be thrilled that someone thinks so highly of you that they want to share their most important day with you. You’re not forced to attend. Don’t be such a curmudgeon.
It’s their special day and they can do it wherever they like but it would be inconsiderate if they expected every invitee to go and then have a hissy fit if invitees decline.
...realize that there are other people in your life who love you, want to be there to watch you get hitched, but don't want to go to the poorhouse in order to see it happen.
This is what it really boils down to for me; people who love you and want to share in your day but your wedding choice creates a financial burden so they can't even when they want to. That IS inconsiderate.
I think you need to understand the optional nature of an invitation.
You should be thrilled that someone thinks so highly of you that they want to share their most important day with you. You’re not forced to attend. Don’t be such a curmudgeon.
Actually, you seemed to have missed my point utterly. This was the post I was reacting to: "But it's also arrogant to assume the bride & groom are desperate for someone they invited to attend their wedding. Truth be told, they may not really care if a lot of people show up."
It's one thing to invite someone who has a reasonable chance of showing up. But getting married thousands of miles away and knowing the people you invited cannot possibly attend is little more than going through the motions, a fairly transparent attempt to troll for presents and nothing else. Just send an announcement instead. It would be far more polite.
Actually, you seemed to have missed my point utterly. This was the post I was reacting to: "But it's also arrogant to assume the bride & groom are desperate for someone they invited to attend their wedding. Truth be told, they may not really care if a lot of people show up."
It's one thing to invite someone who has a reasonable chance of showing up. But getting married thousands of miles away and knowing the people you invited cannot possibly attend is little more than going through the motions, a fairly transparent attempt to troll for presents and nothing else. Just send an announcement instead. It would be far more polite.
I was responding to your overall rant, spread between two posts, but didn’t want to quote the big one. I read your point.
You should simply be thankful that you’re being included and thought of. Go or don’t go. It’s completely optional. It is possible for some to travel, you know? Some may actually enjoy it. One needs to have a pretty rotten outlook to put such a negative spin on something meant to be joyous. “Trolling for presents”? What a nasty perspective.
Last edited by DetroitN8V; 02-12-2019 at 07:47 PM..
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