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Old 03-26-2019, 02:43 PM
1,549 posts, read 777,832 times
Reputation: 2542


Couple of thoughts:

-if you naturally tend to think negatively, that can be changed. But like most changes that are beneficial (like losing weight or making cleaning up your home regularly a priority), it takes work. It’s worth it, though. If you think positively, you’ll likely feel happier. That’s not to say that you should become the second coming of Pollyanna, of course. There are degrees of this. But being negative feeds on itself and can be a rut that’s hard to leave. Work at a different way of thinking and maintaining it.

-people tend to respond to the vibe you put out. If you’re negative, people will probably respond to you that way. Not every person will be good to interact with, but some may be if you give them a chance. Also, try not to get too invested in a person too fast. It takes time to develop friendships and love interests.

-learn to ignore things. There’s a lot of crappy stuff going on out there, and don’t give it the time of day if you can avoid it. Avoid negative people. Don’t wallow in the news beyond a reasonable tolerance level. Don’t indulge in social media and the like beyond your comfort level, which might be altogether (I don’t bother with things like Facebook at all). Ignore the irritating things people do. Don’t let stuff get to you. It’s just flat-out not worth it.
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Old 03-26-2019, 08:18 PM
Location: NYC
5,974 posts, read 2,913,708 times
Reputation: 4049
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
2 pieces of advice.

Step away from your computer and social media for at least an hour a day. Every day.

Most if not all misanthropic people don't really use social media. For example CD is the only social media I subscribe to regularly, and even then I might spend (on average) 7 minutes a day on it. Last time I logged onto my Facebook: last December maybe?

Nor are they people who live in a box all day. People have jobs and commitments after all.

You're probably referring to the people who look at their Facebook feeds for 600 minutes a day and are constantly spewing crap like "omg I've lost all faith in humanity." But those aren't real misanthropes; they're just ordinary morons with too much time on their hands.
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Old 03-26-2019, 08:56 PM
Location: Riding a rock floating through space
2,660 posts, read 1,215,711 times
Reputation: 6341
In general you are right, people suck. Get a dog - I recommend a Dachshund.
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Old 03-27-2019, 02:33 AM
Location: western East Roman Empire
8,888 posts, read 12,898,386 times
Reputation: 9338
Originally Posted by ♥Delaney♥ View Post

Does anyone else feel misanthropic sometimes? Any tips?
As a rule, for your own sake, be polite and courteous to everyone always as much as you can control yourself, even be helpful when the opportunity arises, expect nothing in return; it costs little and there are some rewards.

By the same token, let market forces do the rest and continue to work towards a society where individuals depend on market forces for vital resources, not personal relationships which, more often than not, suck as a rule.

Good Luck!
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Old 04-21-2019, 11:38 AM
122 posts, read 82,889 times
Reputation: 112
I get "disapointment" from the OP's post, as opposed to judgment, anger, or even hate. Disappointment over dwindling social values and norms, and a lack of many to deeply connect to other humans in a meaningful, empathic way.

Perhaps I am projecting, but on that level, I can relate to the post(er). Social media have provided us with the opportunity to collect "friends", to develop breadth, instead of depth. People text, instead of having f2f conversations. The focus turns towards the Self. You market your Self through various platforms, seeking returns on your investments (such as "likes"), and generate an aura of pretense.

There is a deterioration in language that we are all aware of. Just read what seemingly reputable sources publish online these days. It appears to lack effort, both in context, and execution.

Life has moved from the fast to the express lane, and our social values and interactions follow suit. Staying afloat becomes the main focus of many, and sometimes this goes at the expense of others. It may also create some maladaptive behaviors which may be carried forward to the next generation. I vividly recall the words of my grandparents who said about 40 years ago that the world has changed, and they seemed to have lost the ability to keep up, or blend in. Today, I find myself in a somewhat similar position. Society has changed, it ain't the way it used to be, and my values, needs, desires, and <gasp> expectations may only be matched by a few others with similar needs. As for the rest, they either adapted to the "modern times", or are young enough to know only this way of life.

Making friends is hard these days, no matter where you live, and how old you are. It takes time, and the luck of being at the right place at the right time to run into folks who share your wave length. Have really no expectations in others, and take your time getting to really know them, or else you might encounter yet another disappointment. The bright side is, those who share your values will declare themselves rather quickly through their consistent actions. Let go of the flakes.
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Old 04-22-2019, 01:59 PM
Location: Henderson, NV
7,088 posts, read 7,809,058 times
Reputation: 9978
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
I think you can have a casual dislike towards most humans but still find a few who are not utter crap.
Bingo. That's pretty much it exactly. I am friendly with everyone I meet, I'm pretty outgoing in that sense, even though I am a homebody and vastly prefer just keeping to myself 90% of the time, I like that 10% of the time where I get some social interaction especially with close friends. Even though I'm nice to everyone and very conversational, it doesn't mean I "like" them on a deep level. When it comes down to it, I try to be nice about it and just say simply that I don't have much in common with other people in general. I don't share their goals, their view of the world, their lazy way of doing things, their lack of self-respect, etc. That doesn't mean I have to be mean, though, it just means they won't ever turn into close friends.

The close friends are the ones I can talk to about anything, especially how mediocre most people are, and they won't be offended because I'm amongst my own. It's probably a lot easier to make friends if you're just the average person, but I'd rather not be. I notice a lot of adults don't even actively "make friends," they are just friends with co-workers who they're forced to see a lot, they're friends with their kids' parents, they're friends with other people in the HOA where they live, just a lot of laughable forced interactions. I try to avoid all of these forced social situations; just dealing with forced family gatherings is quite enough for me, honestly, and I'd rather not do that either. I like to hang out with the family members I like (my dad), but avoid the ones I can't stand (my sister, a few members of my fiancé's family).

The problem is also that in any group setting, you're always going to have a couple of bad eggs. I prefer one on one friend situations. The good news is, it's very exciting and awesome when you DO meet a potentially cool friend who has a lot in common with you, but it's also exceedingly rare. For me, that means someone who doesn't have or want kids, someone apart from society, who goes it their own way and does their own thing, and who has generally rebellious tendencies. That's the kind of person I want to befriend.
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