Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
How old are you? I totally understand what you're saying. I often think I would refuse cancer treatments. And what if they succeed? So that I can get dementia and have my diapers changed in an assisted living facility when I'm 90? No thanks. I'm 50. I think I've lived a pretty good life.
I have been diagnosed with kidney cancer and my family does not accept that I'm refusing treatment. I can perfectly understand trying to change to my mind at first, since it's a shock and I would surely do the same in their place.
However, it comes to a point when you have to accept the decision. My mother and my brothers keep coming at me to try to change my mind at every opportunity. I've tried to explain that as if this isn't hard enough already, they are just making it harder. Instead of counting on their support, I'm usually angry at them.
Has anyone ever dealt with a similar situation in their family?
It would be nearly impossible for me to accept such a decision from a family member with only the information provided here. Exact diagnosis, size, scope, staging are all factors necessary to make an informed opinion. Age is critical as are medical opinions; is there a reason you don't share that information here? Have you used nomograms to explore various treatment possibilities and have you opened yourself to different places for treatment before making such a life and death decision?
It would be nearly impossible for me to accept such a decision from a family member with only the information provided here. Exact diagnosis, size, scope, staging are all factors necessary to make an informed opinion. Age is critical as are medical opinions; is there a reason you don't share that information here? Have you used nomograms to explore various treatment possibilities and have you opened yourself to different places for treatment before making such a life and death decision?
I'm 30. It's Stage 2 at the moment and it's mildly aggressive. The tumour is about 8 cm long right now. I'm going through a "mild phase" where there aren't much symptoms apart from fatigue, occasional strong pain and blood in the urine.
The doctor says that once it gets to Stage 3 (when it gets to the lymph nodes), it will all unfold at a very fast rate.
I actually had to find another doctor since the first one didn't want me as a patient because I refused treatment. I'm grateful that happened because this is one actually knows how to be a doctor and is 100% better in every respect.
Please don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds to me like you could use some counseling and possibly antidepressants. Yes, you have absolutely EVERY right to be depressed, but it sounds like that depression might be causing you to make decisions based on your image of your self worth. You do have value and it's obvious your mom and brother love you very much.
How old are you? I totally understand what you're saying. I often think I would refuse cancer treatments. And what if they succeed? So that I can get dementia and have my diapers changed in an assisted living facility when I'm 90? No thanks. I'm 50. I think I've lived a pretty good life.
I agree with this, but not because I've lived the life I wanted. In fact, because it hasn't gone well is why I'd refuse treatment. I've often thought about this. Maybe someone would appear who I didn't think cared and that would change my mind, but I highly doubt it.
I'm 30. It's Stage 2 at the moment and it's mildly aggressive. The tumour is about 8 cm long right now. I'm going through a "mild phase" where there aren't much symptoms apart from fatigue, occasional strong pain and blood in the urine.
The doctor says that once it gets to Stage 3 (when it gets to the lymph nodes), it will all unfold at a very fast rate.
I actually had to find another doctor since the first one didn't want me as a patient because I refused treatment. I'm grateful that happened because this is one actually knows how to be a doctor and is 100% better in every respect.
At 30, I was still optimistic about the future. That's totally different and I'd pursue treatment at that age. But I'm not you and I don't know why you're making this decision.
I have been diagnosed with kidney cancer and my family does not accept that I'm refusing treatment. I can perfectly understand trying to change to my mind at first, since it's a shock and I would surely do the same in their place.
However, it comes to a point when you have to accept the decision. My mother and my brothers keep coming at me to try to change my mind at every opportunity. I've tried to explain that as if this isn't hard enough already, they are just making it harder. Instead of counting on their support, I'm usually angry at them.
Has anyone ever dealt with a similar situation in their family?
Quote:
Originally Posted by foundedjames
I'm 30. It's Stage 2 at the moment and it's mildly aggressive. The tumour is about 8 cm long right now. I'm going through a "mild phase" where there aren't much symptoms apart from fatigue, occasional strong pain and blood in the urine.
The doctor says that once it gets to Stage 3 (when it gets to the lymph nodes), it will all unfold at a very fast rate.
I actually had to find another doctor since the first one didn't want me as a patient because I refused treatment. I'm grateful that happened because this is one actually knows how to be a doctor and is 100% better in every respect.
Kidney cancer can be very curable. Normally they remove the affected kidney. What treatment were the doctors suggesting you do? You're way too young to just give up
I get that you don't want to suffer side effects but depending on what stage your cancer is, there may not be side effects like you think. Treatment for every type of cancer is different and the treatment they give today is different then the treatment of even 5 years ago.
Kidney cancer is most often treated with surgery, targeted therapy, immunotherapy, or a combination of these treatments. Radiation therapy and chemotherapy are occasionally used. People with kidney cancer that has spread, called metastatic cancer (see below), often receive multiple lines of therapy.
If you were my son, I wouldn't support you either. It's one thing to be at an end stage and decide that whatever limited benefit there was from further treatment wouldn't be worth it. Families often still have a tough time accepting that, but I think it's a reasonable decision. That is completely different from having Stage 2 (and seems like only marginally into Stage 2 because of tumor size) with an extremely good prognosis from surgery alone and even better with some adjuvant therapy and instead, refusing all treatment because you choose to not believe doctors and statistics. You are committing suicide in reality and of course your family isn't going to support that.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
