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It is OP's choice; I respect that. Dying is part of living, it happens to all of us and once it does, it does not matter how long you lived. All that matters biologically is whether you propagated your DNA, which OP might think about. That is our most lasting contribution to humanity, the genes we pass on to offspring.
One can still live a fulfilling life and bring joy and good things to the world without having a child though.
Please rethink your decision. Find out more about treatment, its side effects, and projected longevity. It seems to me that this is too soon to give up. The fact that your decision disturbs your family tells me that you are loved.
Talk to the doc about what treatment would look like. People with diagnosed pancreatic cancer would give anything to have a treatable cancer. Please rethink.
I've had huge talks with my doctor regarding treatments and outcomes. I'm glad he has always been very respectful of my decision (this second doctor, not that horrible first one).
I'm 30. It's Stage 2 at the moment and it's mildly aggressive.
This puts a very different light on the situation. Your cancer HAS NOT SPREAD outside the one kidney. Removing the kidney surgically could cure you completely; no chemo or radiation might be indicated at all.
FWIW and certainly anecdotally, I was diagnosed with stage 3 (spread to axial lymph nodes) breast cancer at 36. Dysplastic aggressive tumor. I was primarily healthy other than that. Surgery removed the tumor and the lymph nodes. You do understand that surgery IS the primary treatment for cancer correct? It could all end right there. Because of the lymph node spread (that you may not even have) I had adjunct therapy chemo, radiation which was temporarily uncomfortable but nothing dire happened and there were no permanent disabilities from either. Chemo made me sick for about 3 days after each infusion. Back to work and usual living after that 3 days. Radiation made me tired and my skin in the treated area was very tender for about 3 months afterward. It healed. I've remained a functional productive adult on the planet for an additional 28 years. One has to ask whether the trouble here is an overall lack of self worth, lack of life purpose, and depression (that existed before all this started).
Again, OP your family can't force you to do anything. They must accept your decision. It just seems as if you are not choosing to weigh your options. You have some.
Last edited by Parnassia; 09-24-2019 at 01:42 PM..
This puts a very different light on the situation. Your cancer HAS NOT SPREAD outside the one kidney. Removing the kidney surgically could cure you completely; no chemo or radiation might be indicated at all.
FWIW and certainly anecdotally, I was diagnosed with stage 3 (spread to axial lymph nodes) breast cancer at 36. Dysplastic aggressive tumor. I was primarily healthy other than that. Surgery removed the tumor and the lymph nodes. Because of the lymph node spread (that you may not even have) I had adjunct therapy chemo, radiation which was temporarily uncomfortable but nothing dire happened and there were no permanent disabilities from either. Chemo made me sick for about 3 days after each infusion. Back to work and usual living after that 3 days. Radiation made me tired and my skin in the treated area was very tender for about 3 months afterward. It healed. I've remained a functional productive adult on the planet for an additional 28 years. One has to ask whether the trouble here is an overall lack of self worth, lack of life purpose, and depression (that existed before all this started).
Again, OP your family can't force you to do anything. They must accept your decision. It just seems as if you are not choosing to weigh your options. You have some.
This. It doesn't seem like it's over for you OP.
If you go without treatment though, it could be.
Please look into your options and carefully think it through. As someone in my 30's as well, I could not imagine life ending @ this point. So much I want to see and do … watch my niece grow up for one.
edit - had something more harsh, however, mods would probably have deleted it.
It makes zero sense to deny treatment for something relatively simple and at this stage, zero sense at all. You are uninformed and making irrational decisions based upon the very narrow and few experiences of other people, and this decision is going to cost your life, and it will be absolutely pointless reasoning for it.
You mean a lot more to your niece/nephew than you think you do!
They can't possibly miss me if they don't remember me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jdawg8181
Your family cares about you and wants the best for you. While they should respect your decisions either way, I do understand where they are coming from.
That was never the question. I'm sure they care and I care a lot about them. It doesn't mean they can't accept and support my decision.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jdawg8181
Have you gotten second opinions from doctors? Have you looked into other options? Perhaps Chemo isn't the only treatment.
Like I've told previously, I've had to change doctors due to the first not accepting my decision so if count the second one as a second opinion, yes.
I can understand not wanting to do traditional treatments, but I think I would try to do something.
It would probably be a good idea to go for counseling, just to talk through why you have made this decision and how to deal with your family around it. Perhaps you could have a family session after the therapist understands where you are coming from.
If I'm a grown up to vote, drive and buy a house, I'm surely grown up enough to make decisions regarding my health without counseling.
In 2009, at age 73, I was diagnosed with colon cancer. The surgeon opened me up and took out the tumor.
The oncologist ordered ORAL CHEMO. I took pills for six months. I had a couple of issues. Little appetite. Nausea once.
I said "so long" to my oncologist in January. Obviously I'm still here after 10 years.
Had I refused treatment, I would have missed two new grandchildren - a girl now 8 and a boy now 4. I would have missed 10 dance recitals - A girl now 14 and a girl now 18. (Both started dance when they were 3) I would have missed four high school graduations; two college graduations; granddaughter getting her Masters.
I know a man who had both kidneys removed while he waited for a transplant. He was able to do in-home dialysis. Transplant became available and he is doing fine. (The downside? Now he has to stop to pee when on a long car trip!)
You are an adult and able to decide for yourself what you plan to do about your illness. If you don't want to hear from your family members that you should pursue treatment, why come here and ask strangers for support?
I do not project my decision onto others. I'm glad you had treatment and that it was successful. Seriously, not being an hypocrite.
But let's not forget the millions of cases that don't have a happy ending like yours. People tend to hype the cases of cancer treatment that were successful, pushing aside all those that did exactly the same but passed away.
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