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This puts a very different light on the situation. Your cancer HAS NOT SPREAD outside the one kidney. Removing the kidney surgically could cure you completely; no chemo or radiation might be indicated at all.
Thank you but I've discussed this with my doctor. Surgery would not automatically solve everything. It would be the starting point of a long and painful process.
If I'm a grown up to vote, drive and buy a house, I'm surely grown up enough to make decisions regarding my health without counseling.
No one said you aren't "grown up enough to make decisions regarding your health," BUT this is life or death, so it's kind of important.
You did come on here, so you are looking for something.
It wouldn't hurt to go for counseling. It might help you become either more solid in your decision, or open to other perspectives. Either way, it should be insightful, and maybe comforting.
Also, how come you had to end things with your girlfriend? Was she also not supportive?
Quote:
Originally Posted by foundedjames
Obviously, I did not tell her the real reason I was breaking up with her. Had to make up some stupid reason that unfortunately left her in tears.
I forbade my family of telling her the truth and believe they have respected that wish. Had they informed her, she would have contacted me by now.
Wow, your behavior just gets more and more irrational. If you truly loved your GF, IMHO, you would not have lied to her and you would not tell your family to lie for you.
If you think that she is crying now, just imagine how sad and depressed she will feel later, when, or if you get sicker, and she finds out that that you lied to her. Or if you eventually die and she realizes that you lied to her and denied her closure.
A good friend of a close relative committed suicide 15 years ago and my relative told me that a day doesn't go by when she doesn't regret his passing, feels guilty and wishes that she could have helped him more. Heck, I barely knew him (except for telling him that anytime he wanted to talk day or night he should call me or I would help him in any way -and I meant it) and I still feel pain & guilt over his suicide (15 years later).
No one said you aren't "grown up enough to make decisions regarding your health," BUT this is life or death, so it's kind of important.
You did come on here, so you are looking for something.
It wouldn't hurt to go for counseling. It might help you become either more solid in your decision, or open to other perspectives. Either way, it should be insightful, and maybe comforting.
My doctor has already referred me to their counsellor who works exclusively with patients with serious diseases. I know I can go there whenever I want but for now I don't feel the need.
I understand that you really want your family’s support as you go through the process of dying. From their perspective, however, unconditional support brings with it a lot of guilt. For the rest of their lives they would wonder if they were partly responsible for your death, if you might not still be alive if they had continued to press you to change your mind.
Expecting them to live with that guilt is a big ask on your part... I don’t really have a solution to offer.
Wow, your behavior just gets more and more irrational. If you truly loved your GF, IMHO, you would not have lied to her and you would not tell your family to lie for you.
If you think that she is crying now, just imagine how sad and depressed she will feel later, when, or if you get sicker, and she finds out that that you lied to her. Or if you eventually die and she realizes that you lied to her and denied her closure.
A good friend of a close relative committed suicide 15 years ago and my relative told me that a day doesn't go by when she doesn't regret his passing, feels guilty and wishes that she could have helped him more. Heck, I barely knew him (except for telling him that anytime he wanted to talk day or night he should call me or I would help him in any way -and I meant it) and I still feel pain & guilt over his suicide (15 years later).
I just wanted to shield her from all the trouble that's coming my way. Still, I will surely leave her a goodbye letter explaining my reasons in detail and thanking her for the time we spent together.
Well it would left the decision up to her whether she wanted to be with you or not. She could have been supportive. I think having someone to help you go through the hard things makes it easier.
You don't know how she would have reacted. If she genuinely loved you, she'd have stuck around & helped you through.
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