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I have been diagnosed with kidney cancer and my family does not accept that I'm refusing treatment. I can perfectly understand trying to change to my mind at first, since it's a shock and I would surely do the same in their place.
However, it comes to a point when you have to accept the decision. My mother and my brothers keep coming at me to try to change my mind at every opportunity. I've tried to explain that as if this isn't hard enough already, they are just making it harder. Instead of counting on their support, I'm usually angry at them.
Has anyone ever dealt with a similar situation in their family?
Having had 5 close family members who died from cancer after going through treatments, I believe the burdens and pain of the treatment far outweight the benefits. I'll not put myself through the rollescoaster of building expectations and having them crushed all the time. I'll not go through the uncertain and the unexpected. I prefer certainty.
I also do not believe life is somewhat precious. Mine certainly isn't. We interfere too much with our own health. The amount of suffering people go through because "life must be kept at all costs" is beyong insanity.
Mind you, not going ahead with treatment also means suffering. But at least in this case you know what's expecting you. And that somewhat gives you a certain comfort.
Having had 5 close family members who died from cancer after going through treatments, I believe the burdens and pain of the treatment far outweight the benefits. I'll not put myself through the rollescoaster of building expectations and having them crushed all the time. I'll not go through the uncertain and the unexpected. I prefer certainty.
I also do not believe life is somewhat precious. Mine certainly isn't. We interfere too much with our own health. The amount of suffering people go through because "life must be kept at all costs" is beyong insanity.
Mind you, not going ahead with treatment also means suffering. But at least in this case you know what's expecting you. And that somewhat gives you a certain comfort.
Wouldn't you still want pain management and hospice care when the time gets there?
Having had 5 close family members who died from cancer after going through treatments, I believe the burdens and pain of the treatment far outweight the benefits. I'll not put myself through the rollescoaster of building expectations and having them crushed all the time. I'll not go through the uncertain and the unexpected. I prefer certainty.
I also do not believe life is somewhat precious. Mine certainly isn't. We interfere too much with our own health. The amount of suffering people go through because "life must be kept at all costs" is beyong insanity.
Mind you, not going ahead with treatment also means suffering. But at least in this case you know what's expecting you. And that somewhat gives you a certain comfort.
I mean I suppose but if the treatment can cure you, I think it's worth it.
And your life is a lot more precious than you think! You matter to your family, that's why they are so concerned about you.
Wouldn't you still want pain management and hospice care when the time gets there?
Of course I'll go through pain management when the time gets there. Naturally, I would prefer if we treated humans as well as we treat pets and euthanasia and/or assisted-suicide were available.
Thank you. I'm sure my family means well and they're only worried. However, they should have accepted that I'm not going back in my decision now.
Having to break up with my girlfriend was the worst, though.
My heart just hurts for you.
If there’s an option to potentially be cured, I do think you should take it.
Sure it’s your decision but ppl who love you probably feel the same way I do. I would absolutely feel the same way about my own family ... like if there is a treatment out there, do it
foundedjames, I am so sorry for everything you are going through, but I would support you 100%. I have known too many people with cancer who went through months of "torment" with chemo and radiation, only to die anyway. I would rather have six GOOD months instead of a year of mostly agony (not to mention the expense).
Of course, people must decide for themselves what is best for them, and I wish that your family could understand that.
Also, please be selfish and do whatever YOU want. (I know that if I were in your situation, not much would change for me as long as I was able, and that means that I would still be doing a lot of posting! However, I would stop dieting, lol, and eat all the desserts and junk food I wanted!)
Kidney cancer has a very high survival rate. If it has not spread, more than 90% of people live 5 years (at which point it's considered cured if you've had 5 years of no evidence of disease). Overall, it has a 5 year survival rate of 75%. I guess I'm confused as to why you wouldn't think it was worth it.
If you were my family or a friend, I'd be giving you a hard time too. And if your choice was to refuse treatment, my choice would be to remove myself from the situation. It would be like witnessing a suicide but not trying to intervene.
For the record, I'm an 8 year survivor of stage IV cancer and have been considered cured for the past 3 years. Many of my friends are also cancer survivors, including people who have survived kidney cancer. Even since my diagnosis, there are new drugs, techniques, and therapies that not only cure more people, but make people live with better quality of life. I completely understand those who choose not to pursue treatment due to the frailty of age or really poor prognosticated outcomes. It doesn't seem like either is the case here.
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