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Not really...not in the exaggerated sense, anyway, like (insert famous narcissist here).
Little things, like, when we joke with her, tongue-in-cheek, about people being under her spell, etc, she will jokingly say "that's how it should be". But if we press it in a serious way, she will say: "WHAT?! no one feels that way, ya'll are crazy"
However, she just assumes that everyone loves her, and if ever someone did not, she wouldn't even notice, or it would be THEIR fault, THEIR shortcoming. And when she and her spouse had a short break up, then got back together, she told us that it was only on the condition that he admit it was 100% his fault (aside: I don't like him much, but it is never 100% anyone's fault).
Little things like this.
On a day-to-day basis, she is fairly humble and kind of blends in with the crowd. She does have oodles of confidence though, and never lets any of her shortcomings phase her a bit.
Some may say "that's how it should be"....but I am not built that way. I believe everyone must acknowledge areas in which to make themselves better mentally, physically, spiritually each day. In this arena, I pity her because she has never been faced with anything that would shine a light on what needs improving, so she has never improved.
Do y'all think this describes a true narcissist?
Maybe, but it seems to be the buzz word these days that we want to throw on everything, so I try to take pause.
Have you ever been under someone's spell?
yes.
If so, why?
puberty.
How?
puberty.
What did it feel like?
wonderful.
What do you think causes this kind of reaction in people?
puberty.
Is it only weak-minded people?
nope. weak-kneed, though.
Do y'all think this describes a true narcissist? Maybe, but it seems to be the buzz word these days that we want to throw on everything, so I try to take pause.
Yeah it's definitely overused but Narcissists only seem to have confidence; they are actually pretty insecure deep down. Their drama & the attention they crave is just a symptom of how needy they are.
The 'spell' you speak of is simply her confidence. Confidence is magnetic.
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"Every guy she ever dated was madly in love with her, stop their life for her, marry and be with her until death. Every single one.
She is by far not the smartest, most beautiful, wittiest, kindest, etc. She has average features, is severely overweight, kind of mean and bossy at times, and not very deep or philosophical. I cannot, for the life of me figure it out."
I find this scenario very hard to believe. I'm a guy, over 60, and have been in enough all male or mostly male environments that I know very well how most normal guys think and act. No one falls madly in love, stops their lives, or wants to marry until death a woman with average looks, severely overweight, bossy, etc., etc. Maybe an occasional, very desperate dude with low standards, but not normal guys. No way.
That sounds pretty weird, OP. Average looks, obese, kind of selfish, not a charming personality, yet she has a spell on people? Definitely weird.
Do you know anything about her heritage? And why were you under her spell in HS? Can you think back to what you were thinking at the time? What drew you to her?
Why is she your best friend, if she's mean and bossy at times? I would suspect, that if she's your bestie, you may be under her spell to some extent, however subtly.
I knew someone like that. Men were drawn to her. She was overweight (but not extremely so). She had plain looks and was soft spoken. Yet, with little to no effort on her part, she would attract men. Some, after dating her 3 or 4 times started talking marriage with her---even while we all were still in HS. She ended up dating a man while still in college, married him and after marrying him, he physically abused her. Fortunately, she had the good sense to dump him and divorce him. That had him begging her to take him back. She went right into a rebound marriage which the ex tried to stop. At some point, she had a child, then got divorced. Last I heard, she is on her third marriage.
OTOH, there was a girl in HS who was very good looking with exotic looks. She was quiet and had a friendly way about her. Men rarely approached her. I often wonder if her good looks intimidated them. After HS, I lost touch with her.
If you read Sue Grafton's books, there was an occurring character, Vera, whom Kinsey would describe as plain looking, very tall and chain-smoking. Yet men were constantly approaching her wanting to date her.
I guess that some people must give off a vibe of some kind that attracts people.
No. I don’t give enough of a **** about impressing people to fall under a “spell”. I never had any person I wanted to impress where I’m writing checks and falling over myself. F that.
I've known some women like that. Nothing special I can see about them at all and yet they never seem to be at a loss for a date or a new husband.
I don't know what I'm not seeing. I scratch my head and wonder what the attraction is. If they had money it would be an easy guess.
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