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My best friend and I have known each other since we were 5 years old. I know all of her family, extended family too, and we, in fact, are closer than most sisters.
My friend has this "spell" , whereby people fall all over themselves to be with her and do things for her. Every guy she ever dated was madly in love with her, stop their life for her, marry and be with her until death. Every single one.
It's not just men either. Women do the same thing, regardless of straight, not, or in the middle.
One of the friends in our group and I were talking about the "spell". She said she remembers being under it herself back in high school, though she is not any more.
I never was, not even a little bit, and it kind of creeps me out. She is by far not the smartest, most beautiful, wittiest, kindest, etc. She has average features, is severely overweight, kind of mean and bossy at times, and not very deep or philosophical. I cannot, for the life of me figure it out.
Have you ever been under someone's spell? If so, why? How? What did it feel like? What do you think causes this kind of reaction in people? Is it only weak-minded people?
No. I have known people who I wanted to impress, wanted to please, wanted to be accepted by but somehow I doubt that's what you mean.
Not sure what you mean by "weak-minded people" but that's sort of an insultingly convenient excuse for something that is a lot more complicated don't you think?
That sounds pretty weird, OP. Average looks, obese, kind of selfish, not a charming personality, yet she has a spell on people? Definitely weird.
Do you know anything about her heritage? And why were you under her spell in HS? Can you think back to what you were thinking at the time? What drew you to her?
Why is she your best friend, if she's mean and bossy at times? I would suspect, that if she's your bestie, you may be under her spell to some extent, however subtly.
She is by far not the smartest, most beautiful, wittiest, kindest, etc. She has average features, is severely overweight, kind of mean and bossy at times, and not very deep or philosophical. I cannot, for the life of me figure it out.
That sounds pretty weird, OP. Average looks, obese, kind of selfish, not a charming personality, yet she has a spell on people? Definitely weird.
Do you know anything about her heritage? And why were you under her spell in HS? Can you think back to what you were thinking at the time? What drew you to her?
Why is she your best friend, if she's mean and bossy at times? I would suspect, that if she's your bestie, you may be under her spell to some extent, however subtly.
Um what?
I was never under her spell as I was very careful to explain above. Another friend said she was but isn’t anymore. We haven’t had the chance to discuss that to face to figure it all out.
Yes I know everything about her and her heritage and her family even extended family. I don’t think you are visualizing just how close we were as kids. I nearly lived at her house. She is Czech but not sure why that matters.
We have just been friends for sssssooo long that pointing out some of her negative qualities is as simple as what one sister may point out about the other. That doesn’t mean all her qualities are bad. This is just basic info, like a list of qualities of any human, both good and bad. There’s no feelings behind it. I don’t think anyone would say their best friend was perfect and didn’t have even one bad quality. But those who are under her spell would say that. It’s weird!
Um what?
I was never under her spell as I was very careful to explain above. Another friend said she was but isn’t anymore. We haven’t had the chance to discuss that to face to figure it all out.
Yes I know everything about her and her heritage and her family even extended family. I don’t think you are visualizing just how close we were as kids. I nearly lived at her house. She is Czech but not sure why that matters.
We have just been friends for sssssooo long that pointing out some of her negative qualities is as simple as what one sister may point out about the other. That doesn’t mean all her qualities are bad. This is just basic info, like a list of qualities of any human, both good and bad. There’s no feelings behind it. I don’t think anyone would say their best friend was perfect and didn’t have even one bad quality. But those who are under her spell would say that. It’s weird!
Sorry, I meant to edit my error out, but for some reason, it didn't happen.
I was wondering, if she may have come from some kind of charismatic lineage. I guess not.
Um what?
I was never under her spell as I was very careful to explain above. Another friend said she was but isn’t anymore. We haven’t had the chance to discuss that to face to figure it all out.
Yes I know everything about her and her heritage and her family even extended family. I don’t think you are visualizing just how close we were as kids. I nearly lived at her house. She is Czech but not sure why that matters.
We have just been friends for sssssooo long that pointing out some of her negative qualities is as simple as what one sister may point out about the other. That doesn’t mean all her qualities are bad. This is just basic info, like a list of qualities of any human, both good and bad. There’s no feelings behind it. I don’t think anyone would say their best friend was perfect and didn’t have even one bad quality. But those who are under her spell would say that. It’s weird!
I think you are a rational being ...and yes even our "bestie" has a weakness or two. An imperfection that qualifies for ----work in progress moto.
I can't recall being mislead by an endearing friend. Boss's yes....as they paint a pretty picture at the hiring stage then you realize you are in a cellar weaving straw into pretend gold strands if you get my gist.
I worked with a person who did a splendid job of playing damsel in distress...and Miss Congeniality when the "show" for the customers required it. I usually can spot a disingenuous person right off the bat. So yeah count me out of being under a spell (being mesmerized by a person).
While I know two ppl I can place upon a pedestal ...its because thru out the ages they have warranted that admiration. Their consistency in behavior and ethics have gone unwavered. For that , I regard them. Yet under a spell? Nah, I think they are rare and enjoyable ....
OP, yes I knew a person like that. I haven't been around her for years because my situation where we were associated has changed, (she taught horseback riding lessons) not because I was trying to distance myself from her.
Everyone at the stables wanted her to be their friend and it isn't like she doesn't have flaws. In fact, some of her flaws were quite obvious. At times, she was very mean and sarcastic, but for some reason, people were just drawn to her. They fell over themselves to gain her friendship.
Like your friend, she was nothing to look at and slightly overweight. She isn't rich, charming and certainly isn't friendly to everyone. She didn't hold back anything and said whatever was on her mind, whether it was hurtful or not.
One girl who worked with her for a few years at the stables thought she was this "person's" best friend, and was crushed when this person announced (while drunk at a girl's get-together) that she had no best friend. This girl looked at this person in utter disbelief. She remained aloof to the other girl's distress and never tried to soothe her feelings.
I liked her, but I also detested some of her personality traits. I kept my distance, was very leery around her and never fell into the category of trying to gain her friendship.
I don't understand the attraction either. She had this "spell" or whatever you want to call it. It was just there.
Last edited by gouligann; 09-24-2019 at 05:22 AM..
Sorry, I meant to edit my error out, but for some reason, it didn't happen.
I was wondering, if she may have come from some kind of charismatic lineage. I guess not.
This is super interesting -- what lineages are charismatic? I have never heard of this
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