My friend's husband is a sex offender (house, abuse, college)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
And this is why these registries are broken, IMO. Don't know what state OP is in, but here in SC.. There is no getting off the registry.. It's for life. Even a pardon doesn't remove you from it.
Minors go on the list. for life.
Prosecutors use the registry to obtain guilty pleas. There was a case where a high school student swiped his teachers phone. The teacher had nude images of herself on it. The student sent those images out. The prosecution charged him with an offense that would land him on the registry in order to get him to plead out to a reduced charge that wouldn't put him on the registry. Peeing outside can technically land you on the registry if you have a solicitor who wants to put you on it.
And, as OP shows.. Most people just see someone on the registry and jump to conclusions. Thankfully, OP did some due diligence and dug into it to find out exactly what happened.
That's a frightening scenario. Good rules going WAY too far.
The term Sex Offender has as many nebulous overtones as DUI. When you hear of someone getting a DUI, what do you automatically assume? Was it .082 or was it 1.9, completely different. Does anyone ever ask, or just the assumptions he was too drunk to drive.
With sex offenders it's no different. The term conjures up all kinds of ideas, and the worst assumptions. They should really add a few more terms to sex offenders, to separate the ones who abused small children to an 18YO who had sex with a 15 or 16YO!
I would be more worried about the sex offenders, one of which could be living right next door to you, that haven't been caught yet or will never get caught. Yup! The guy who waves to you, bring you over baked cookies, goes to church every Sunday!
And this is why these registries are broken, IMO. Don't know what state OP is in, but here in SC.. There is no getting off the registry.. It's for life. Even a pardon doesn't remove you from it.
Minors go on the list. for life.
Prosecutors use the registry to obtain guilty pleas. There was a case where a high school student swiped his teachers phone. The teacher had nude images of herself on it. The student sent those images out. The prosecution charged him with an offense that would land him on the registry in order to get him to plead out to a reduced charge that wouldn't put him on the registry. Peeing outside can technically land you on the registry if you have a solicitor who wants to put you on it.
And, as OP shows.. Most people just see someone on the registry and jump to conclusions. Thankfully, OP did some due diligence and dug into it to find out exactly what happened.
I completely agree that the registry system should be improved upon. The laws can be narrow, absolute and the circumstances of "the crime" can be "grey" in nature.
The term Sex Offender has as many nebulous overtones as DUI. When you hear of someone getting a DUI, what do you automatically assume? Was it .082 or was it 1.9, completely different. Does anyone ever ask, or just the assumptions he was too drunk to drive.
With sex offenders it's no different. The term conjures up all kinds of ideas, and the worst assumptions. They should really add a few more terms to sex offenders, to separate the ones who abused small children to an 18YO who had sex with a 15 or 16YO!
I would be more worried about the sex offenders, one of which could be living right next door to you, that haven't been caught yet or will never get caught. Yup! The guy who waves to you, bring you over baked cookies, goes to church every Sunday!
I agree with this. Once I confirmed it was him without knowing more of the details, I was already thinking the worse of him, and if my friend knew about this, how could I continue a friendship with that?
Although, while discovering more information about it now makes more sense, I still don't know exactly what happened, but my friend, I do know she would have never married someone knowingly of that person having committed some heinous crime.
I was already jumping to the worst scenario. They should expand on the terms, so people don't take any hasty action.
Had a family that lived across the street from our kids school. One of the parents reported that an adult in the house had a sex offence against a minor. Many of the parents were upset that someone like that could live that close to a school. Rumors spread, bad news got out, and people got upset. It was the talk of the parents as they dropped off the kids.
The real story came out. A teenager had been dating a girl in High School. Her parents did not like him. He turned 18 and the parents went to the police. The girl was a couple years younger than him. That was some years back. I think in California they changed or were trying to change the law. When a kid hits 18 and is dating someone within a few years of their age the courts are more relaxed on that kind of thing. Not sure if that ever got changed or not.
Had a family that lived across the street from our kids school. One of the parents reported that an adult in the house had a sex offence against a minor. Many of the parents were upset that someone like that could live that close to a school. Rumors spread, bad news got out, and people got upset. It was the talk of the parents as they dropped off the kids.
The real story came out. A teenager had been dating a girl in High School. Her parents did not like him. He turned 18 and the parents went to the police. The girl was a couple years younger than him. That was some years back. I think in California they changed or were trying to change the law. When a kid hits 18 and is dating someone within a few years of their age the courts are more relaxed on that kind of thing. Not sure if that ever got changed or not.
Just an FYI 'child pornography/film/photos' label could also be placed on someone who, when underaged, sent or received a nude selfie from a partner. In my job, I have dealt with a young man who was charged with possession of incident images after he took pics of his member (when he was still a teen) and never deleted it off his phone.
This is something needs addressing. I hope that man reMEMBERS to never to do that again!
With my monthly credit report, I also get updates on local sex offenders that have been registered in my immediate area. This month, a familiar name popped up. It's the same name as my friend's husband, however, her husband has a super common name, so I though it might be coincidence. The thing is that they live right by me, so I decided to look into more details.
When I expanded the registrant's profile it was surely him. It was his exact same birthdate and the address they live in. I looked at what the offense said and it said "child pornography/film/photos". It looks like he was registered two months ago, and they just had a baby (their first) a month ago.
Ugh. I am not even sure what to do? It sounds like a serious charge, but how serious if he's not in jail? She has been posting pictures of them together with the baby, and I just talked to her a few days ago. Surely she must know?
I am not even sure what to do? Do I ask or bring it up? In a way If he did commit this, how can I even be around him anymore? She is a great friend, but if she he did something serious and is looking the other way how can I also be friends with her? This is just also bizarre, and I am not sure how to approach this.
I wouldn't bring it up. Everyone has access to public records, you can look it up. It does not mean he is a child molester or rapist. 12 states currently require people arrested for urinating in public to register as sex offenders. How do you know it "sounds like a serious charge", did it say what he is on it for? Yes, I am quite sure she knows, they are probably being harrassed by other people who live nearby and get updates, maybe he will lose his job if he hasn't already. It's a punishment that never ends. If you're her friend, be the one person who has her back now when she needs it and don't act like he's the Devil until you know what the deal is.
With my monthly credit report, I also get updates on local sex offenders that have been registered in my immediate area. This month, a familiar name popped up. It's the same name as my friend's husband, however, her husband has a super common name, so I though it might be coincidence. The thing is that they live right by me, so I decided to look into more details.
When I expanded the registrant's profile it was surely him. It was his exact same birthdate and the address they live in. I looked at what the offense said and it said "child pornography/film/photos". It looks like he was registered two months ago, and they just had a baby (their first) a month ago.
Ugh. I am not even sure what to do? It sounds like a serious charge, but how serious if he's not in jail? She has been posting pictures of them together with the baby, and I just talked to her a few days ago. Surely she must know?
I am not even sure what to do? Do I ask or bring it up? In a way If he did commit this, how can I even be around him anymore? She is a great friend, but if she he did something serious and is looking the other way how can I also be friends with her? This is just also bizarre, and I am not sure how to approach this.
What is there for you to do? You think she doesn't know?! That's what's so hilarious when people say being on "the Registry" ruins your life - apparently this woman doesn't care and they'll have their own baby to watch over.
You can do what you want - I'd probably distance myself - couldn't stomach being around him.
Just an FYI 'child pornography/film/photos' label could also be placed on someone who, when underaged, sent or received a nude selfie from a partner. In my job, I have dealt with a young man who was charged with possession of incident images after he took pics of his member (when he was still a teen) and never deleted it off his phone.
True, but in THIS case the OP said: It looks like he was registered two months ago, and they just had a baby (their first) a month ago.
This isn't a case of kids in high school texting/sexting/exchanging pics.
Anyway, is the OP gonna inquire to find out the details? Or just assume the best?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
