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This is just a suggestion. If somebody claims you are just trying to start an argument when you are not, they have spoken for you. They also consider you a liar when they don't agree with your counterclaim that you are just voicing an opinion.
Why do you engage with liars? You won't win with them.
Because they need to be taught a lesson, the lesson that their BS will not go unquestioned and I will not stand idly by and keep my mouth shut. I WILL put you in your place if you come at me with that BS.
This ^^^ is a given, although criticism and disagreement are not the same.
This ^^ sounds like propaganda engineered to advance your point.
I can see wanting to "quell criticism." That's a natural instinct. But one could also call it "discussing the point." Words have meaning, in the same vein as "one man's trash is another man's treasure.
What exactly would attempting to "quell disagreement" make you a hypocrite of?
"I can say what I think but don't you dare say what you think or try to question me".
But you said anyone who didn't WANT to discuss with you was a POS. That would seem combative and hostile. You've already decided someone is a POS because they don't want to argue (oops, sorry...discuss) with you.
I've said it over and over again, but I'll reiterate. IF YOU AREN'T WILLING TO HAVE YOUR OPINIONS AND THOUGHTS QUESTIONED AND DISAGREED WITH, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND DON'T SHARE THEM WITH OTHERS. Doing so is opening yourself up for criticism and disagreement, and if you can't handle it, don't got flapping your jaws.
Sure, there is plenty to be gained if you are willing to listen and learn from them. Are you?
If you're asking this question, it's possible someone in your life has told you that you make everything into an argument. If that's the case, consider your post history. Or assuming it's correct, your reported job history with various bosses. You carry around a big chip on your shoulder daring people to knock it off. And if they don't oblige you, well, you'll knock it off for them. The first post in this thread was the dare. And that chip's been pretty much kicked into the next county. You've been given good answers so far. If you're listening.
I'd say, right about here:
Because I don't bend right over and capitulate it means I'm not hearing what others are saying, or learning from it?
I don't agree with what's been posted because I haven't heard a refutation of what I've said. Most of it's been the same crap I hear in real life. Just because it's over the internet doesn't give it more merit.
It's just like people who say "You haven't seen/done enough yet". No, just because I don't agree doesn't mean I'm inexperienced or that I need to "learn more'. It means that two people have come to two different conclusions based on their own life experiences.
Is there nothing to be gained in a conversation from stating opposing viewpoints?
IMO, an argument is when it's gone beyond the initial topic of discussion and has devolved into name calling and off topic insults. It is possible to discuss things without them becoming heated or personal, and to stay on topic
So what is a person supposed to do when someone else says something they vehemently disagree with? Keep your mouth shut? Why is voicing any disagreement an "argument" in your opinion? Where does a normal conversation end and an argument start?
People like you are exactly the types I'm talking about. You want to dismiss any contrary viewpoint stated to yours as "trying to start an argument" and see little value in conversation with people who disagree with you.
And where did I say I was better than anyone else? You've proven my point for me, congratulations. You've attempted to turn a normal conversation into an argument because I said something you don't agree with, and have already resorted to name calling and snarky comments instead of actual discussion.
This is one of those pick your battles issues. There are times when I voice my opinion when I am sure that the person I am talking to (typically in person) is not going to explode and go on a volatile rampage. If the person seems unstable, I just keep quiet and exit stage left.
Ideally, it is great to have conversations with opposing viewpoints when you both can learn from one another. This is where listening comes in.
But people tend to want to be right though and it results in "trying to start an argument".
I've learned there are times it's better to let the other person have the last word and just be silent and not respond. Some people come loaded for bear and are looking for a reason to escalate into something ugly. Angry, bitter, unhappy people are more prone to this since they tend to carry around a lot of venom inside and the pressure builds and it leaks or spews out.
Too bad more people have never taken a debate class in school. It is totally possible to have a healthy debate and not make it personal.
I don't agree with what's been posted because I haven't heard a refutation of what I've said.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jimmy12345678
IMO, an argument is when it's gone beyond the initial topic of discussion and has devolved into name calling and off topic insults. It is possible to discuss things without them becoming heated or personal, and to stay on topic
So what is a person supposed to do when someone else says something they vehemently disagree with? Keep your mouth shut? Why is voicing any disagreement an "argument" in your opinion? Where does a normal conversation end and an argument start?
Because they need to be taught a lesson, the lesson that their BS will not go unquestioned and I will not stand idly by and keep my mouth shut. I WILL put you in your place if you come at me with that BS.
Discussions turn to arguments when the attitude of the participants becomes angry, mean-spirited, rude, sarcastic, vindictive or aggressive in tone or content.
If you genuinely desire an open and civil conversation such behavior should be avoided at all costs.
Unless you can control your tone the slightest spark of disrespect will light the flame.
And your opponent will quickly become your enemy.. and there's no going back.
Know thyself.
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