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Well, maybe she's in an abusive relationship. It's just something to consider. That sounds like very controlling behavior on the part of the husband, and abusers operate by isolating their victims.
My married friend has the marital home in her name only. AND the mortgage. AND all of the utility bills AND credit card bills. She hasn't worked in years, but she has a good credit score or at least it's better than her husband's record. If something happened, she would be on the hook.
I do know women who ask their husband for permission for this and that. My kid has a friend in her 20s who fell into a fundamentalist religious group, got married to a much older man, and has become shackled. That's why there are all these girl empowerment types of groups and organizations at the elementary school level and up.
I don’t know women like this. Your friends sound like people living and working two generations ago.
LOL I wish it was 2 generations ago. Unfortunately it’s just 2 days ago. Wait —2 hours ago! There’s a lot more women like this than one would think.
Yeah, it just completely grates me to hear a woman nowadays say her husband won't let her do such and such. Oh, I can't see you this weekend because my husband wants me to clean the house. Oh, my husband won't let me do such and such. And this from highly educated women in their early 50's.
I think some women use this, asking their husband’s permission or opinion, instead of saying no themselves for something they just didn’t want to do. They figure then if their friend gets mad it is her husband the friend will be mad at and not her. I don’t get it, I’m certainly not like this. They are church friends. But they are all misunderstanding the premise on which they stand.
Sometimes we look at another’s marriage and we see only part of the picture. We don’t see it all though.
If a wife stays in what looks like a miserable marriage, she must be getting something out of it. Because, it is perfectly doable to get a divorce. I would hope that the two would try to repair their relationship first. But miserable wives leave marriages all the time.
I am a product of strict religious upbringing. Our family friends were same. My friends in my early married days were same. I only know of one marriage that fits the stereotype of dominant husband/submissive wife, and that marriage ultimately failed.
I think that women who allow their husbands to make decisions for them, even in their careers, are few, especially if they are younger. If there is abuse in the marriage, then that is a different situation. I suppose you could argue that domination is a form of abuse, but I don’t think that us what the OP is talking about.
LOL I wish it was 2 generations ago. Unfortunately it’s just 2 days ago. Wait —2 hours ago! There’s a lot more women like this than one would think.
Marriages work if there is equality of power. When one partner has a lot more than the other, then it's dysfunctional and it would be like a parent-child relationship. The wife who has to "ask permission" from the husband to go out or do things might have the power in other aspects of their married life. She may have the final say in other decisions.
I think some women use this, asking their husband’s permission or opinion, instead of saying no themselves for something they just didn’t want to do. They figure then if their friend gets mad it is her husband the friend will be mad at and not her. I don’t get it, I’m certainly not like this. They are church friends. But they are all misunderstanding the premise on which they stand.
I think this is often true - where a woman will say that her husband says she can't do something, when she just doesn't want to do it.
What happens then, with me anyway, when a woman says she can't do something because her husband says so - whether it's true or not - is that I then form an opinion of her as a weaker individual that I don't have much respect for.
So, she may think she has gotten out of something she didn't want to do, with a great excuse, but the fallout is she loses respect.
I think this is often true - where a woman will say that her husband says she can't do something, when she just doesn't want to do it.
What happens then, with me anyway, when a woman says she can't do something because her husband says so - whether it's true or not - is that I then form an opinion of her as a weaker individual that I don't have much respect for.
So, she may think she has gotten out of something she didn't want to do, with a great excuse, but the fallout is she loses respect.
I agree, I lose respect for them too. But I don’t think they care. They are in their own world.
One time I read an article on a newspaper about why some women are afraid to leave abusive husbands. The article said that they even tried to leave at first, went to the women's shelter for help. The people there helped them and tried to find a place for them to live. But then they went back to their abusive husbands again. Why did they do that? The analogy was many of them were afraid to be alone; or if they might see somebody else in the future, but that somebody else would be the same or worse. So they just stick with their abusive husbands. They got used to it. They were afraid of changes.
The same with many men. There are many men are abused by their wives, partners too. Nowadays many women are quite mean.
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