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Up until the past week I had a Facebook account.
My husband and I shared the account, DH never used it as he is always working out of town, or working period.
Some of the friends on this account I did not know personally and have NEVER met.
Most all of us know how facebook works.
Anywho...
When I am not tending to the homefront or my college studies I will hop online and interact with my family and friends whether i Saw them last week or they live thousands of miles cross country.
I do not post anything offensive, political or negative etc. Unless I am uploading pictures of my children or a quote meme others may share via our profile.
One of the last weeks we had facebook
I apparently made myself part of a family squabble that was occurring on social media.
According to my Husbands Stepmother and her family, I made myself apart of that drama by
reacting to a comment someone posted.
Someone posted a picture of what appeared to be farmers... this was her mother and father.
I reacted to a comment where a woman said she loved her hard-working mommy and daddy and was blessed to be their daughter.
I liked her comment.
for this...
I am a drama starter, a trouble maker and my husband and his father are not speaking now.
OVER ME LIKING A COMMENT that seemed totally innocent???
I DID NOT KNOW THERE WAS A FAMILY DISAGREEMENT GOING ON!??
I came to these forums because I am so confused... How me reacting to comment with a heart emoticon tore an entire family unit apart???
I even publicly apologized about my heart reaction when i was addressed about it.
THIS MADE THINGS WORSE!
???
What on earth can I do to fix things?
or was I clearly already in the bullseye target for my inlaws?
I have learned in therapy that if you really think you should apologize, you do it once and that's enough. If someone expects you to grovel beyond that point, you don't have to agree to do so.
I hate facebook. I just don't participate in it anymore. Everyone who knows me - who actually knows me beyond a facebook profile - knows that I am not interested in being in someone's fan club. If someone wants a relationship with me, they can call me to get together with me in person and then show me pics of whatever.
I hate how everything I do and everyone I interract with on facebook all know about everything I do. In real life, nobody operates that way. For instance, there would be no reason for everyone I know on earth to know where I went with a friend and what we ate for lunch.
And I'm really low income, so how does it make me feel when you post your pics of your really expensive vacations?
Or when you post pics of a party I wasn't invited to?
In the normal world before facebook, you could simply make plans with whoever you wanted to, without the entire world knowing it, normally.
At any rate, you don't have to participate in drama. If anyone confronts you in the real world, I'd just say something like"I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'm not going to discuss it anymore". So, how bout them....fill in the blank sports team or weather forecast or whatever.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 9 days ago)
35,635 posts, read 17,982,736 times
Reputation: 50665
I don't think any of us can help you with this one - there is an UGLY family rift going on in that family, and the sides are so well-drawn that what appears to be a sweet post honoring an old picture of a woman's parents is divisive.
If you can't even like a pic saying I'm proud of my mom and dad without tossing fuel on the fire, I think you should just hold these people at arm's length and don't interact again.
Up until the past week I had a Facebook account.
My husband and I shared the account, DH never used it as he is always working out of town, or working period.
Some of the friends on this account I did not know personally and have NEVER met.
Most all of us know how facebook works.
Anywho...
When I am not tending to the homefront or my college studies I will hop online and interact with my family and friends whether i Saw them last week or they live thousands of miles cross country.
I do not post anything offensive, political or negative etc. Unless I am uploading pictures of my children or a quote meme others may share via our profile.
One of the last weeks we had facebook
I apparently made myself part of a family squabble that was occurring on social media.
According to my Husbands Stepmother and her family, I made myself apart of that drama by
reacting to a comment someone posted.
Someone posted a picture of what appeared to be farmers... this was her mother and father.
I reacted to a comment where a woman said she loved her hard-working mommy and daddy and was blessed to be their daughter.
I liked her comment.
for this...
I am a drama starter, a trouble maker and my husband and his father are not speaking now.
OVER ME LIKING A COMMENT that seemed totally innocent???
I DID NOT KNOW THERE WAS A FAMILY DISAGREEMENT GOING ON!??
I came to these forums because I am so confused... How me reacting to comment with a heart emoticon tore an entire family unit apart???
I even publicly apologized about my heart reaction when i was addressed about it.
THIS MADE THINGS WORSE!
???
What on earth can I do to fix things?
or was I clearly already in the bullseye target for my inlaws?
Sounds like some bad craziness at work.
One of my wife's SIL is the worst of all worlds: Self-centered, mean, and crazy. My BIL must have testicles the size of English peas, because I would have left her ass years ago.
Always has drama. We collectively have to walk on eggshells with her because you never know what innocent remark is going to set her off. This is the woman who would just erupt at her son, telling him how much she hates him and how she wishes he had never been born. I mean, this was a good kid who makes straight As. But that is typical of how she talks to everyone.
Three years ago, my wife's other SIL (Heretofore known as the Nice SIL) comes by the house to pick up something. While she's there, she happens to look at her FB feed and says, "OMG."
The Crazy SIL had posted something about her daughter being accepted to a master's program. Our daughter and the Nice SIL had also been accepted into grad school at the same time.
The other SIL, who never has said an unkind word about anyone in her life, responds and says, "That's wonderful. Congratulations to her! I think it's great that all three cousins are earning their Masters degree at the same time."
Pretty innocuous stuff right?
Well, as the Nice SIL discovered, the Crazy SIL immediately goes on a multi-paragraph tirade about how she isn't appreciated in the family and how she wasn't allowed to have the limelight and about umpteen other crazy things. She then proceeds to rake the Nice SIL over the coals.
The Nice SIL was extremely hurt when all she was trying to do was the nice thing. My wife then go involved. She texted the Crazy SIL and pointed out how hurtful she was being. The Crazy SIL then defriends everyone in the family on Facebook. Her daughter calls my wife crying talking about how hurtful everyone is to the Crazy SIL, then cuts us all off from FB.
Now, we're about to go to the Crazy SIL's daughter's wedding. Can I tell you how little I'm looking forward to this nightmare?
Why do you want to fix things? These people appear to be self-absorbed nutcases looking for an opportunity to take offense (even it none is offered) and start an argument just to entertain themselves. Being cut off by them would appear to be a blessing, not a problem.
Any attempt at rational conversation and reasoning with them will fail. If they are willing to manufacture a reason out of nothing so they can start a feud with someone they barely know, any reconciliation will be fragile and short-lived.
If you must offer some sort of response, just make it "Bless your heart," and get on with your now drama-free lives.
To be clear, you liking a comment is not grounds for an entire family to squabble like this. You’re just an easy target. The answer here is to unfriend every single one of your husband’s family and set your privacy settings so that they can’t stalk your page. If they want to see your children they can visit them or even ask for photos if that’s all they want. That’s the only way to stay out of any future drama. The current situation has nothing to do with you either so stay out of that also.
What did you apologize for? What did you think you had even done wrong?
Sounds like you got caught in the crossfire of family intrigue, just be glad it was over something innocuous and not an actual diversive opinion on something. Your husband is the only one who can tell you why, but it isn't your responsibility to fix it.
I have learned in therapy that if you really think you should apologize, you do it once and that's enough. If someone expects you to grovel beyond that point, you don't have to agree to do so.
I hate facebook. I just don't participate in it anymore. Everyone who knows me - who actually knows me beyond a facebook profile - knows that I am not interested in being in someone's fan club. If someone wants a relationship with me, they can call me to get together with me in person and then show me pics of whatever.
I hate how everything I do and everyone I interract with on facebook all know about everything I do. In real life, nobody operates that way. For instance, there would be no reason for everyone I know on earth to know where I went with a friend and what we ate for lunch.
And I'm really low income, so how does it make me feel when you post your pics of your really expensive vacations?
Or when you post pics of a party I wasn't invited to?
In the normal world before facebook, you could simply make plans with whoever you wanted to, without the entire world knowing it, normally.
At any rate, you don't have to participate in drama. If anyone confronts you in the real world, I'd just say something like"I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'm not going to discuss it anymore". So, how bout them....fill in the blank sports team or weather forecast or whatever.
Yes! The world would be a happier place without Facebook. It’s for drama and showing off.
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