How To Influence Someone To Pay To Have Their House Cleaned

[Threestep2]

Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness

I just suggested it was time to clean and that he would love the results. I guaranteed it would not cost more than $100 - and he trusted me.

Now, it will cost so much more, and I don't know if I can make the same argument. I am going to try. I don't want to hurt his feelings - I think I will tell him that I will coordinate it all for him and will arrange it for a time he will be visiting his friend.

You are spending HIS money to get HIS house to YOUR standards? Does this not change with the word EX?

[nobodysbusiness]

Originally Posted by Parnassia

Agree. He must have visited other people's homes and seen how differently they are managed. He has made a choice that suits him for better or worse. His "radar" about cleanliness is obviously different. Tricking or cajoling him into getting the place cleaned will probably embarrass and humiliate him. I had a close relative who lived somewhat like that as he aged...not quite as bad, but it was enough to disgust me. Saying anything (even supposedly subtle or witty comments about the condition) just put them on the defensive and made them even more unwilling to do anything about it. They certainly were well aware of it. Defiance, defensiveness, and anger will ruin a relationship. Don't understand why you can't see that. The next time he kindly offers to accommodate you, turn him down. Maybe that will make an impression, but there will probably be unintended consequences.

Not your business nobody's business. Back off.

Okay, you people are really dense, and so predictable - just always say "none of your business," and assume that anyone asking for advice is the bad person and that the one they are talking about is the good person - it's just ridiculous how predictable these responses are - all about "rights" - just no help, what-so-ever.

I am increasingly sick of dumb people, of which there seem to be surplus of everywhere!

Yes, he has visited other people's homes! DUH! He's not retarded - he is in denial and a certain personality style that is very rigid - if you would bother to read about the Enneagram Nine, you might be able to comprehend the type of personality I am dealing with - but no, that would be too informative.

I do not wish to hurt his feelings and will gently suggest I will arrange a cleaning.

Thanks for nothing, advise-wise.

[Kim in FL]

Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness

So, there were no suggestions of how to get him to pay to get his house cleaned.

I know he would be happier in a clean house.

The house is not going to clean itself.

It is becoming a health hazard (which he would not be aware of).

It's just sad because it's really scummy (the messy cupboards and closets are not really the issue, although I see how the thinking works, re: denial).

So interesting that everyone is all about a person's "rights" to live anyway they want - yeah, he can continue to live this way, but it could impact his health (and his happiness) and he will never even be aware of the reason why.

Still none of your business.

But if you must stick your nose in, ask him if he’d like to have his house cleaned. If he says yes, you pay for it and continue to pay for twice a week cleanings until he drops over. If he says no, leave him and his filthy house alone.