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I was wondering that too, if the trash can got knocked over, rolled into the street, or even got moved by a utility company. If I had picked up a trash can and moved it so it didn't roll back into the street again, I'm not sure I would mention it to the neighbor. It just seems like something that wouldn't be a big deal, and forgettable. I would be puzzled to find out a neighbor was still angry over a moved trashcan over a week later.
It happened once, and the OP doesn't even know why. I don't know if the OP is just stressed over the move, likes drama, or what, but most of the incidents seem like they could very easily have a no big deal explanation if the OP would just go and talk to her neighbors. And talk to them face to face, not sending passive aggressive messages or yelling at them over the security speaker system. A friendly face to face get together to sort everything out.
I didn't even REMEMBER the trash can incident till last night (it happened several weeks ago). But to clarify, whoever moved it moved it late at night, and moved it FULL to the middle of my yard, before the trash truck came. It had not fallen over. It was not overspilling anywhere. It was deliberately moved to the middle of my front yard (where, by the way, the trash guys wouldn't have picked it up if I hadn't noticed and moved it to the curb before they came).
Like I said, the wife just had surgery (a hysterectomy a month ago and then day surgery about a week ago). So I haven't been pushing for any sort of face to face with them. I did go over there to deliver sandwiches, but the husband and wife weren't there.
I'm not a timid, passive aggressive person. It has never been my plan to "only" say something (not yell) to the boys over the security system speaker. I have already stated that I plan to talk with the parents if it continues. I do think that speaking to the boys over the security system though would be funny and possibly effective - possibly without any sort of confrontation with the parents. If it works, it works - if not, I'll talk with the parents. And soon.
I said I would send her a message because frankly, two things - 1) it's documented that I asked them to please quit playing on my property and 2) she's NOT WELL. She responds quickly (apparently) to messages, but I hate to make her come to the door. Honestly, I'm still trying to be rather nice - just firm.
I'm not mentioning the trash can bidness unless I can identify someone moving it on camera. I do plan to ask her, next time I see her, if there's some sort of trash protocol I know nothing about.
I rented a house for a few months where I'd come home sometimes to find a bunch of kids playing ball in the back yard. I didn't have kids, and these kids all lived on the street and every house had the same sized yard. Only thing I could think of was that maybe the house was empty for awhile before we moved in, and they got used to using it? But it still makes no sense to me, parents in my neighborhood never would have allowed any of us to play in an empty yard.
My cat even got hit by one of their balls once and was bruised so badly he limped for days. That cost me a vet visit and X-rays. I don't even think I lasted 4 months there.
I know you said you liked kids, but I thought most 50+ places had restrictions on resident age and kids?
I don't even want to live in any neighborhood these days.
Thanks but this is not a 50+ place. It's just a gated subdivision. No age restrictions and I wouldn't want one. I like a neighborhood with a good mixture of ages, ethnicities, etc.
I have thought about whether or not I would have played in someone else's yard when I was a kid and the answer is a resounding NO unless I was a guest of a kid who lived there and who was outside playing with me. I just don't get it.
Today they were playing outside (which is good) but weren't playing in my yard (also good). So maybe someone said something to them. Or maybe their front yard had dried out (till tomorrow) - and it wasn't wet - who knows?
I like the idea of a motion-activated sprinkler. Also, keeping the toys that are left in your yard. Like WordKlas suggested I would talk to the parents about "liability" issues with their children playing on your property.
Eventually, if you do all of the above, they should stop. If none of that works, then I would call the HOA and then the police.
An ugly two story play house but you can't have a storage bin? Yikes!
Upper middle class? Professionals? Sounds more like a brick & mortar trailer park - complete with gate (lol). There are a lot of trust fund babies these days, and they go for neighborhoods like that. And, well, a lot of folks today are called "professionals" even mailmen and janitors.
Hate to tell you, but it isn't going to get any better. Didn't you drive through the neighborhood, several times on a Saturday afternoon before you bought? I always do. It's very revealing.
Then, there's that HOA thing. Bet your neighbor is the prez' pal or B.I.L.
Yes, this neighborhood has quite a few playhouses that stick up over the fences - and that's OK with me. But it starts to irk me when like you said, someone starts complaining about our very nice storage building (wood with a shingled roof that matches our roof, painted to match our small amount of siding, two windows, window boxes, nice hardware, etc.) I mean, it's just a very neat, un "offensive" storage building/shop. I mean, it's nice enough to be made into a shop - it's insulated, has electricity, etc. Grr!
Yes, the neighborhoood is upper middle class. Full of professionals - attorneys, accountants, CPAs, small business owners, that sort of folks. I've got news for them though - if anyone asks. I've lived in this area for 25 years. This is not where the "rich folks" live. This may be "upper middle class" but it's still "middle class." I'm comfortable with that - but i can't stand pretentious behavior.
And yes, we drove through the neighborhood - many times - before buying the house. We knew it was a kid friendly, dog friendly neighborhood. We saw people out walking - dogs, strollers, just walking for exercise, couples, singles, you name it. We stopped and talked with several people (all seemed very normal and nice and friendly). We called the HOA president beforehand and he seemed reasonable and friendly and approachable.
I do think that our next door neighbor has some sort of connection to the HOA president however. That being said, the HOA president is about to move out of the neighborhood and is resigning, so that's an interesting wrinkle to the whole thing.
Thanks but this is not a 50+ place. It's just a gated subdivision. No age restrictions and I wouldn't want one. I like a neighborhood with a good mixture of ages, ethnicities, etc.
I have thought about whether or not I would have played in someone else's yard when I was a kid and the answer is a resounding NO unless I was a guest of a kid who lived there and who was outside playing with me. I just don't get it.
Too funny! I read your first comment and thought 50-over - gotta stop skimming posts! We were a little surprised to find out that out of 50 homes, there are 74 school aged kids living in this gated community! KIDS EVERYWHERE. Most of the households seem to be dual income professionals. In fact, come to find out that we are one of only THREE families out here who are over 50. Now - I'm fine with that and I LOVE kids. So that wasn't a drawback to us at all.
And I'm thinking, man she got HOSED moving into a 50+ with only three 50+ households!! (is it too late to save face and edit my other post? )
I think I'll go to bed early and see if I can reset my mind for tomorrow
And no, I would't have played in a yard without an invite either. Things are so different these days. You get people who preach the "it takes a community" phrase and think it's all good.
WorldKlas brought up all the issues I first thought of - injury, insurance, trespassing, etc. I would also confiscate any items left on my property and I like requiring the parents to come by so they know your property is not the neighborhood play area.
I just really think the parents are so bizarre to raise their children to think it's okay to trespass. And the dog behavior! Unbelievable.
Unfortunately it's very, very common nowadays. The entitlement and poor parenting are a very bad combination in a neighbor.
IMHO you are allowing it to build up. You have a stick in your craw and are letting it fester. Some of the things you described could be mere coincidences or attributed to being unknown new arrivals who don't happen to follow the same habits the previous homeowners may have. You don't know...you are assuming it is intentional, even malicious.
The trash can could have been a one off. You don't know why anyone moved it. Time will tell whether there's a pattern or not. Kids might have played a prank on the newbies.
[b]The kids may have played in that driveway long before...no one happened to say anything about it. They may have left their toys there and no one happened to care as much as you do about it. You haven't spoken to them about this yet. Do it and explain what your wishes are.
A neighbor's neurotic dog managed to get in your house and pee? You don't know whether that dog was very friendly with the previous owners...it might have gotten confused in a familiar place filled with new belongings and smells, and ended up marking new territory because of it. Dog's aren't malicious. Maybe its a rather dense dog. Who knows. But did you say anything about this to anyone? No. I'm sure almost anyone would be apologetic and embarrassed it happened. But you don't know because you didn't give anyone the chance.
So someone who just had surgery didn't acknowledge the food you sent immediately? There might be a lot more to whatever their health situation happens to be than that surgery. But they didn't happen to respond quickly enough to suit you?
IMHO what might nip a lot of this in the bud (before you really allow a solid grudge to set up in your mind based on assumptions) is to make a nice opening gesture...an invitation for snacks, drinks, whatever, and use it as an opening to establish your "turf"...about the driveway, ask about the stupid trash can routine, tell the story about the dog's behavior, explain your intentions for the storage shed, quiz them about the routine day to day expectations on that street, introduce yourselves as residents of equal footing, etc. If you choose to dislike your new neighbors once you know more about them, that's up to you.
FWIW, I don't see anything really weird about these neighbors based on your anecdotes. What I see are people who have gotten used to a status quo with the previous owners of your house. If you don't like the status quo, educate them otherwise. They don't know you, what pushes your buttons, or what matters to you. They aren't any better mind readers than you are.
Heard this all before. It's not on KathrynAragon to educate the neighbors that she doesn't care for constant trespassers, did not buy her property in order to maintain a public playground, and doesn't want neighborhood dogs coming inside her home and peeing (wtf?). The onus is on the neighbors to approach the new homeowner and ask if this inane behavior is still going to be permissible.
Unfortunately it's very, very common nowadays. The entitlement and poor parenting are a very bad combination in a neighbor.
A third of all people are scum. I had a neighbor get irate with me today because I had the nerve to say something to his twelve year old daughter for throwing a plastic cup three quarters of the way full with slushee in the middle of my parent's pavement.
And I was nice about it being I realized her age. I was basically trying to teach her you don't that.
The kids may have played in that driveway long before...no one happened to say anything about it. They may have left their toys there and no one happened to care as much as you do about it. You haven't spoken to them about this yet. Do it and explain what your wishes are.
There might have been kids in both houses before and they just intermingled, without anyone bothering with which kids were theirs. Try a gentle nudge first. If that doesn't work, talk to the mother, directly, not in a text message.
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(is it too late to save face and edit my other post? 
)
